Sir Cover-up and Cameron practically share pyjamas: QUENTIN LETTS on the road with the Brexiteers

David Owen, former Foreign Secretary Owen, pro-Brexit, took a pop at the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Jeremy Heywood, saying his supervision of the EU referendum was a ‘constitutional outrage’

Enter grey-maned David Owen, to remind us how to kebab a political opponent. Former Foreign Secretary Owen, pro-Brexit, took a marvellously languid pop at the Cabinet Secretary, Sir Jeremy Heywood, saying his supervision of the EU referendum was a ‘constitutional outrage’.

‘I sometimes wonder whether the Cabinet Secretary knows the meaning of the word cabinet – whether he thinks it’s a piece of furniture which can be moved from time to time, for whichever Prime Minister he happens to be serving, as some sort of presidential seat. We’ve got to get back some standards of objectivity and truth.’

This was said with a doctorly drawl. There was no foot-stamping, no pause for laughter (Lord Owen could never be mistaken for a stand-up comedian). Aspersions on Sir Jeremy’s character were not cast, though heaven knows they could have been. Lord Owen instead used the tone of a clubman sorrowfully summoning the port waiter to suggest that the 1963 Fonseca was corked and, though he hesitated to make a scene, a maggot had just waggled its ankle through the flank of the cheese-trolley gorgonzola.

Whitehall, run by Sir Jeremy, says Brexit will be an economic calamity worse than the Second World War. The Treasury has produced lurid statistics. Lord Owen wanted to know why such material was not shown to the Cabinet before Mr Cameron finalised his plans for a referendum.

(The reason, of course, may be that Sir Jeremy, alias ‘Sir Cover-Up’, is spinning hard for his friend Mr Cameron. The two of them are so close, they practically share pyjamas – though it is hard to know who wears the bottoms).

So far in this EU referendum campaign we have seen many blatant ruderies. The Remain people whip up social-media intifadas against Leavers. Ukippers have been shoving verbal custard pies in not only their opponents’ faces but also those of party colleagues. And Boris Johnson has won a prize for writing a dirty limerick about the president of Turkey. The poor Turkish ambassador in London is somehow going to have to translate that limerick and send it to Ankara.

Lord Owen, 77, is above such vaudeville. He was making his speech yesterday at Vote Leave HQ and was introduced by a young honey in a black, patent-leather skirt. Ah, Westminster in springtime. You can see how those Scots Nationalist men went astray.

HE spoke semi-extempore for about half an hour, his main message being that the EU was likely to become a ‘United States of Europe’. ‘This is not a false alarm,’ said the doctor. ‘Good luck to them. But I have always opposed federalism.’

Whitehall, run by Sir Jeremy, says Brexit will be an economic calamity worse than the Second World War

Voting Remain would make it likely we would be sucked into that United States of Europe. ‘Be aware of it. This is what will happen.’

With the same mournful, slow delivery, he said pro-EU Madame Lagarde of the International Monetary Fund should keep her powdered snout out of British affairs. She was here the other day and plans to return in June. It was ‘absolutely essential’ that Sir Jeremy write to her and tell her to bog off (Lord Owen found a more polite way of saying this).

Former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, the latest foreigner to try to tell us how to vote, should also mind his own business, said Lord Owen. Americans wanted us to represent their views in Brussels, but British politicians’ first duty should be to British voters.

By the way, Mr Bloomberg said he was pro-EU because he fretted about his employees’ financial well-being. Friends of mine who work for him say that his concern seldom extends to the size of their pay packets.

The pro-EU elite made pots of money out of the status quo, said Lord Owen, but it was disconnected from most people’s lives. ‘My salutary point about the EU,’ he said, ‘is “Can you kick the buggers out?”. And you can’t. That’s why we have to Leave.’