Monthly Archives: September 2013
Natural is Overrated.
Posted on September 25, 2013 29 Comments
5 long years of meticulous planning. Months of anguish spent pouring over emails, contracts and PDF updates examining every word in fine detail to make sure nothing was missed, misunderstood or lost in translation. Sleepless nights spent thinking about, concocting, writing and finally practicing romantic and yet funny vows that would fit with the venue […]
Look what Love Did. (Mads)
Posted on September 21, 2013 17 Comments
I didn’t mean to shout ‘Minge!’ quite so loud at the breakfast table. I also didn’t mean to introduce myself to a huge gathering of glamorous and sophisticated looking women by shouting ‘Can you see my nipples?’ I just get nervous and my tongue takes full advantage of the extra adrenaline rushing through my system […]
Fix You. (Lights will guide you home.)
Posted on September 20, 2013 6 Comments
I envision myself sometimes when trying to fall asleep, hung from the doorframe, streaks of warm urine trailing down my legs and over stubbly ankles as my body relaxes and experiences relief for the very last time. My neon painted nails on lifeless feet. I lie there imagining myself googling beforehand how to tie a […]
Mrs. Doyle
Posted on September 17, 2013 7 Comments
Downtown Disney hospital does not allow guns or firearms. It states this quite clearly on the entry way windows, on the dazzlingly clean and shiny glass sliding doors and on a handy little red warning sign in the children’s play area. Thankfully I had left my semi automatic back at the resort so I didn’t […]
PNW. (Post Natal Wedding.)
Posted on September 1, 2013 9 Comments
…. And they lived happily ever after… ‘I swear to god Irish one if you don’t stop throwing random crap in to this bag in a haphazardly manner I will bludgeon you to death with a blunt gardening tool and get my dad to wear you as a puppet on the wedding day! We do […]
