Monthly Archives: October 2010
The iron, the bitch and the wardrobe.
Posted on October 29, 2010 13 Comments
Every time I open my wardrobe I can hear my size 10 jeans calling me a fat arse. ‘Soon’ I used to whisper to them, fingering them idly ‘Soon!’ and then I would proceed to torture myself rotten with guilt, anytime I put anything in my mouth. (Food I mean, you smutty lot!) Now though, I […]
Live fast, die young…
Posted on October 26, 2010 14 Comments
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, For a split second, I forget. If I hear the theme tune for the sopranos, For a split second, I forget. When I see a motorbike zooming past, For a split second, I forget. When I hear a voice in a crowd that sounds like you, For […]
Inspired much?
Posted on October 23, 2010 7 Comments
Miss Ellis. Motivated, focused and looking for inspiration! At least, this is what it reads at the top of my Cv. So it must be true! Because clearly nobody ever lies on their Cv do they? I have also been 27 for the last 4 years, am an award winning tap-dancer, and in 1984 I […]
I love you, but please don’t bring a horse.
Posted on October 21, 2010 5 Comments
Choosing a god mother and father has been something of a dilemma for myself and the Irish one. Actually I take that back. It has been a dilemma for me. (The one with DRAMA QUEEN stamped under her passport picture.) The Irish one picked his best friend. Who is brilliant, lovely and funny as hell. […]
Dance your cares away (clap clap)…
Posted on October 20, 2010 4 Comments
‘We’re going on a trip, on a little rocket ship, flying through the sky, LITTLE EINSTIEN’S!’ Bang! That noise you just heard wasn’t a firework. It was me shooting an imaginary bullet directly in to the Sky HD box. At close range. (No Mr. Sky HD technical man. It just stopped working, I have […]
Sometimes.
Posted on October 17, 2010 15 Comments
Sometimes I feel I cant breathe, Like I’ve no energy left for this fight! There is all this routine and this pressure For a mother to get everything right. We could throw all the dishes at the wall, And leave the frigging house in a tip! We are all so frightened of failing, We […]
If she is a size 12, i am a supermodel.
Posted on October 16, 2010 6 Comments
God I wish I was naturally thin. I don’t know about you, but the word ‘diet’ makes my skin actually crawl. The word ‘gymnasium’ makes me want to shove as many salt and vinegar square crisps in to my mouth, as quickly as I possibly can until I feel like I am happily chewing on […]
Is there a therapist in the house?
Posted on October 14, 2010 8 Comments
When I was little I wanted an eye patch. One of my earliest childhood memories, is of a little girl appearing at my front door with her over -dressed mother (for some reason when I remember this moment, I always picture the mother wearing a red and white poker-dot ball gown. But I’m sure that […]
What goeth around must cometh around…
Posted on October 12, 2010 4 Comments
‘What goes around comes around’ is a saying most are familiar with right? ‘He’s left you?’ ooo what goes around comes around. ‘She stole your last kit-kat?’ ooo what goes around comes around. ‘He is sleeping with your best mate?’ ooo what goes around comes around. ‘He made you cry?’ ooo what goes around comes […]
