A Labyrinth

This is the short speech I wrote for my Kiddush tomorrow. If you have any comments please share before Shabbat.

When I was about 14 I went with my mother to a jewelry fair. I bought, with my own money, a ring from one of the stands. The woman said it was made in Egypt. On it are eleven six pointed stars, which for me reference Yosef’s dream.

I have always felt a deep connection to Yosef.

Yosef is a mature leader in this week’s parsha and an incredible role model. He is leading a nation who find his people so repulsive that they won’t eat with them and he forgives his brothers who not only sold him to into slavery but also broke the heart of the father he adored. Yosef is mature enough to realize that everything that happened was Hashem’s will. He needed to be sold into slavery so he could end up at Potifar’s house and be thrown in jail so he could interpret the dreams of Pharaoh’s servants so he could interpret Pharaoh’s dream so he could save the known word from starvation. Sforno even says that Perek 41, Pasuk 3 “Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt for I will make you a great nation there,” means that Jewish people would have intermarried in Cana’an so by bringing his brothers down to Egypt, Yosef was saving the Jewish people as well.

I cannot claim to be as wise as Yosef but I feel more akin to him than anyone else in the Torah and I am trying to take a page from his book. When I read about Yosef I see my faults and my strengths and the proper way to employ them both. I understand that to get to the top I must believe that all my talents and skills are gifts from Hashem and that service to Hashem is what will carry me towards the path of true Simcha and Hidor. I have ways to go towards improving my character but Hashem has made sure to affirm that I am on the right path in ways that I can understand. He has made the process easy and given me the support I need through many wonderful people.

I would like to thank this community for being so welcoming and supportive. The young women of Woodside taught me how to be accepting and kind. I hope that they will visit and eventually move to Israel so I can see them often. I have had the pleasure of babysitting many of your children. I love them all and will miss them dearly. Tali told me that her Daddy would fly her in a plane to visit me and since the promises of an unmarried girl in her father’s house are his responsibility, I will hold you to that Dan. One of the many things I love about Israel is how much people get into each other’s business. I believe it is because they care. I can never leave this shul without someone asking me about my life. People here care about each other and keep up with each other. I see this as proof that you are all meant to be Israeli. I also want to thank my family for being so supportive. I realize that although I have been living at home I am always very busy and I do not spend enough time with you. You have been very understanding and given me all the resources I need to pursue my goals. It will be hard to be so far away from you and I look forward to you visiting.

I hope that when I step on the plane this Tuesday I will be completing the circle that Yosef started. I like to view my path as parallel but in the opposite direction as Yosef’s. Yosef was forced to leave Eretz Yisroel and had to bring the rest of the nation out as well in order to propel Hashem’s plan. I am choosing to leave galut and hopefully the rest of Am Yisroel will follow me and complete Hashem’s plan and bring back the Beit Ha’Mikdash.

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I may claim to be the Queen of many things but that is only because it is the truth. I take being the Queen of Awesome Gift Giving particularly seriously. I have given some amazing gifts.

In the course of my packing I found a list from Chanuka freshman year of people to give gifts to. It had 47 people on it and I gave gifts to all of them. Granted, I gave cookies to many of them but I made three different types of cookies and special non-dairy ones for my friend who is allergic to milk. I know I am adorable aaaannnd considerate (and by considerate I mean I don’t like to kill my friends). I have given a bean bag chair to my kid brother who loves to read and fun dress socks to my hard to shop for fashion concious older brother (he was always fighting with my dad over socks, these were definitely his). I buy my mother presents whenever I see something she will like. In fact, I am so good at picking stuff out for her that she likes and my father is so hopeless at it, that I pick out her big birthday gifts for him and he just pays for them.

When I go to a store I never go alone. All my friends are sitting on my shoulder pointing out the things they like when I go in.

Today was my last day at my internship and one of my favorite co-workers birthday. We have a private joke about pirates (who doesn’t??) and so I bought him a book called “The Pirate Life” which teaches you how to be a better pirate. It is pretty hysterical. He loved it.

As mentioned in a previous post, I bought Freudian Slippers for my future roommate who is studying psychology. She liked them so much she called her mom immediately after she opened them to tell her about them.

I have bought so many awesome presents for my best friend I could not possibly list them here so I will just tell you about this Christmas. I bought her hugging ghost salt shakers that are so cute that I had to buy a set for myself too. She played with them for about 5 minutes after she opened them and promised she would be playing with them more later. I also bought her a Kandinsky calendar since that is her favorite artist (I got to see the retrospective in NY and she didn’t so this is like salt, haha, in the wound, it’s kinda like a nananabooboo and a consolation prize at the same time). In addition, I got her socks that have All-Star shoes printed on them because as long as I have known her she has always had a pair of Chucks.

I have received some great gifts too. KT has given me my favorite scarf and some lovely jewelry among other things. KT sends me more greeting cards than the average Hallmark store holds, and I have and love them all. I recently found a card that Cory gave me with a cactus that I somehow managed to keep alive for three years (I am not the green thumb my mother is, although not quite the plant murderer that KT is either). My parents bought me a camera this year which they are trading me for the GPS they bought me last year because I will no longer need it. (His name is Lee and he has a Australian accent, I will miss him very much. Guess I have to get a real boyfriend now. Bummer.) One of the best gifts I got this year was a letter from a friend who I was not on good terms with. I reached out to heal our wounds and he wrote back a beautiful letter. I did not expect him to write back. It was a wonderful gift.

This year KT bested me at gifts. She even beat the beautiful letter. She bought me….. drum role people…… “What is Your Poo Telling You.” It is a very educational and hysterical book. (Jonathan if you want to see it, come over on Shabbat.) Don’t get too jealous, just come visit me in Israel and use my rest room and you can read it. And so I will officially abdicate my throne (pun most definitely intended) to KT.

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One of the best parts about going through all your things is finding little reminders of who you are and how you’ve grown. I have started packing and doing laundry, etc. and I just found the following note from when I was leaving for Israel 5 years ago:

“It’s kinda traumatic to leave your room knowing that you won’t be back for 9 months. It makes you realize how much your silly material world means when you’ve packed all your most necessary belongings into 2 duffels and a gym bag. It makes you wonder if you could live without it. If they lost your bags life would go on. How weird is it that we are so attached to these material things that, if push comes to shove, we could live without? People are weird.”

I was wise (people are still weird, haha). Much of the time I am very critical of my 18 year old self and all her self-righteousness and insecurity but maybe I should give her a break. Thanks teenage O, I needed that.

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Today was my last day at the Museum. I am not gonna lie, I was counting down the hours. My job is very hard psychologically. But I am still sad to go. I love my coworkers. I actually even still love the museum. Despite knowing all the behind the scenes problems it is still a great museum with an excellent collection. Being there this past year was like one long class on Modern art. A class I actually really needed since I had not had enough instruction in that area because I was bent on taking every survey I could and understanding art from all over the world. I learned so much about art this year and I have developed some theories I would like to share with you.

What is art? Art is having something to say and saying it well.

On saying it well: If you are merely technically talented and you do not have anything to say then you are a craftsman. Theaters, museums and books are places for ideas. Craftsman are incredibly important too. It is really important to be surrounded by pretty things that don’t necessarily shake your world view but there is nothing sadder than the kid in art school who can reproduce my face exactly but has no ideas to share with the world. That is where you get stale forced art about bland ideas that have been done already or have little consequence. This may sound harsh but it important to recognize your strengths and be honest about your abilities. (Honest, but not fatalist.)

On having something to say: If you have something to say but can’t say it well it does not matter how brilliant you are because no one will ever hear you and no one will ever know. Try switching mediums. And I am not just talking about sculpture as opposed to painting (although that can work!), try acting, writing, music or whatever else you can think of and see if that gets your message across better. If you believe your idea is important don’t give up, and don’t be afraid to ask for help, collaborations are a good thing.

In addition, I believe that understanding context, both historical and personal is integral to understanding art. Many people in today’s society say that if art needs additional text to explain it then it fails because you should be able to just feel it. I respectfully disagree and I think this is a fluffy idea that people pick up from our culture but don’t think very hard about. For example, would Leonardo’s David be nearly as famous and meaningful if you did not know the story of David and Goliath, who Leonardo was, who he was creating the work for, Renaissance history and how hard it is to create a man out of a block of marble? Probably not, and that is a pretty realistic work of art, so how much more so do we need context when something is abstract. I don’t think this means that visual art does not have it’s own special voice that can be more powerful than words. On the contrary, there is definitely a special power and innate understanding built into visual art that grips the senses in ways that words often cannot but words can make the experience more meaningful. You can’t enjoy art in the dark, words and context provide a spotlight.

Your thoughts and criticisms are, as always, welcome, appreciated and solicited.

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“I AM GOING TO BE ON TV!!!!” I yelled to Kurtis as I ran up the stairs at work.

I got a call from Nefesh B’ Nefesh on Wednesday morning. It was the press department who had actually already asked me to talk to channel 2 about my Aliyah several weeks ago but my excitement was renewed when they explained a project they want me to participate in.

Hello, this is Ranana from Nefesh B’ Nefesh.”

“Hi.”

“Um, so, the when the last charter flight landed one of the boyfriend of one of the girls on the flight proposed at the airport. It was a big deal and on TV.”

“Yea, Nechama Dina, I went to college with her, we are facebook friends.”

“Oh, cool, you know her. Well, after that we got about a thousand phone calls from Israelis and their mothers asking how they could meet cute American olim. We said, I dunno, go to a bar? But then we decided to team up with Jdate. And this is where you come in. We made a page of the guys looking to meet new olot on Jdate. We will give you a free profile. You choose at least three guys to contact and let us know who you choose. Then talk about it in your interview. After that it’s up to you. We see it as a social experiment. At the very least a way to make new friends.” She continues cautiously, “would you be interested?”

“Yeah! Sounds awesome!”

Now I have always been critical of online dating but NBN has given me a lot of money and support and will only continue to do so. I would do anything in my power to give them good press, and if that means having dinner with a stranger, so be it. Also, I do think it will be fun.

So I signed up for Jdate. I went through the guys. There were only three who were looking for an Orthodox girl, and only two I care to contact. Ranana said that was fine. I still haven’t gotten full access through NBN, so I can’t check my messages. I already have 32. I have had a Jdate profile for less than 24 hours. However, more than half the guys who messaged me were over 30 and I carefully specified that I was looking for someone 23-29. I want a peer, a best friend, a buddy, not a father figure.

Now don’t think all you yentas, matchmakers and busy bodies are off the hook. I still prefer to meet people either on my own or through people I trust like you. So start looking through your shidduch books because I am single and mingle ready!!!!!

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