Archive for June, 2009|Monthly archive page
The Tale of the SAL, Part 3
Comments (14)You’ve all been so generous and kind in indulging me as I’ve spun my little fabric fairy tale—which was originally written to distract you from the lack of stitching pictures (it worked!)—that I feel compelled to continue. So now, without further ado, allow me to introduce the third installment of my nonsensical ramblings, otherwise known as the Tale of the SAL.
Our last installment of this riveting (as opposed to riveted) tale found our stubborn stitcher in the midst of her quixotic quest to find the perfect linen for the Guilt-Free CHS Stocking SAL. Her perseverance paid off, and she began her journey to find her speedy quick stitching friends . . .
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The stitcher stood and pondered the mysterious message that she had just stumbled across so soon after beginning her journey:
“‘Tis a lovely thing . . . ,” she read.
Why, whatever could it mean? What was lovely? And was the message for her or for someone else? Stitching faster, the rest of the message soon came into view:
Ah, yes, wise advice indeed! (Her friend Pinocchio himself might have had an easier time of it had he received such a message.)
Reassured that she was, at last, on the right path, she raced onward, with linen in hand and her picnic basket filled to the brim with enough stitching supplies to last throughout her stitching odyssey. Unfortunately, in her race to catch her most excellent stitching friends, she had failed to put any food in said picnic basket. Looking around, she noticed some lovely treats in rows 3 and 5, so she had a quick snack.
Fortunately, they grew back quickly:
Refreshed, the stitcher looked ahead along the path to see if she could catch sight of her friends. But all she saw was the seemingly endless journey that stretched before her:
She sighed and stitched onward, stopping to rest a little too frequently but enjoying the journey, nonetheless. As she looked around she soon noticed that other creatures were beginning to appear:
She was enchanted by their lovely colors. And by the lovely little sign that they landed on:
Soon she noticed that she had entered a forest (which explains a lot about why the colors on her project weren’t nearly as bright and vibrant as they once were), and yet she continued stitching.
She was so very pleased that she was finding her way on her own, and she felt sure that she’d soon catch up with her friends. And she might have caught up with them that very afternoon (Hey, it’s a fairy tale. I’m allowed a little creative license here, even if it lacks any basis in fact), except she found herself distracted by one itty bitty, teensy weensy bird in particular. Among all of the lovely birds that she had seen and admired, this one little bird seemed dull and drab and, frankly, out of place.
She decided to retrace her steps to see if she could get a better look at him. But as she drew closer, she had to laugh at herself. You see, where she thought she had seen a drab brown bird, she was pleasantly surprised and greatly relieved to see that it was, instead, a beautiful little green bird:
Ah, yes, much better she thought! And continued along her merry way . . .
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So where exactly is our stitcher going? Is her path through the forest the right one? Will she soon catch sight of her friends, or will she tarry a bit too long in the forest and fall under the spell of the Neverending WIP or Unending UFO, frightening creatures rumored to dwell there? Worse yet, is it possible that this stitching odyssey, which has finally made some very promising progress, will end like so many similar ones that came before, sadly detoured into the Land of Projects That Never Quite Get Finished?
Tune in next time—whenever that might be—and perhaps you’ll be rewarded with another amazingly fascinating installment of the Tale of the SAL.
The Tale of the SAL, Part 2
When we last heard from our stitching heroine, she was in deep despair because her Friends of the Guilt-free CHS Stocking SAL had all begun their journey to the Enchanted Land of Finished Projects, and she was left behind, searching in vain for the perfect linen. It is there that we pick up the threads of our stitcher’s story (sorry, you know I can’t resist a good stitching pun) . . .
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Upon hearing the bitter news of the backordered linen, the stitcher—dejected and decidedly down in the mouth—took directly to her bed. After all, it was past her bedtime.
But she was no quitter. Time and again, she had persevered to overcome many stitching setbacks in her past. She had tried, in vain, to banish the haunting details of these incidents, but every time she faced a new stitching dilemma—which was all too often, it seemed—the memories would come rushing back.
And so it was that night as she rested her head upon her simple pillow ensconced in a pillowcase that was in desperate need of some embroidered flowers or hemstitching along its plain edges. As she mentally added the pillowcase project to her stitching to-do list, she recalled the challenging times while she drifted off to sleep:
The time the Royal Dye Master changed his formula for DMC 3051, causing her much distress over her most prized of all tapestries. The time the Wicked Witch cast a spell on her roses, causing them to continually change shades until she nearly went mad. The time she bravely set out on her own to find the Enchanted Land of Finished Projects, only to have a frightening encounter with The Evil Sewing Machine.
And the darkest of all days: the time the Royal Framer dumped a pot of glue on her prized project, setting off The Terrible Twenty-Year Curse.
So many projects. So many incidents. So many, in fact, that she was beginning to suspect that her neighborhood must be located in an ill-fated area of the Royal Kingdom!
After a fitful night of sleep, dawn broke in the Unexciting Land of Projects With Missing Supplies. And as the sun rose, so did our stitcher, newly determined to find her linen.
“Today I will set out on my journey across rivers and streams, through forests and fields, across interstates and county roads, through small towns with small speed limits and large towns with small speed limits,” she cried, and headed out the door at the crack of noon. (She couldn’t leave earlier because first she had to sweep the hearth, do the laundry by the stream, and visit the Royal Bank to beg a loan of a few golden coins for her quest!)
As she drove along in Ye Very Olde Chevy Sedan, her luck seemed about to change, so a feeling of optimism began to return . . . until she saw a sign the color of DMC 971. Its message—unlike this story—was simple and to the point: “Road Closed.” (Really. I’m not kidding.)
But by now she was a Stitcher On A Mission. Not even the Royal Road Repair Crews that had blanketed the Royal Byways with garish orange cones and miles-long detours could delay her quest by more than 15 minutes!
She quickly navigated her way around the construction, and before she knew it, she had arrived at the Emerald City (Oops, wrong story!) . . . at Ye Olde Wonderful Cross Stitch Shoppe of the North!!
As she approached the threshold of this magical place, birds carried ribbons in their beaks, forest creatures gathered to cheer, and mice in tailored clothing danced and sang. Inside was a very large room filled to the brim with the silkiest threads, the best needles, the richest designs, the sturdiest frames. In short, she had reached Paradise!
Not to be distracted from the task at hand, she ignored the lovely stitching goodies (for a little while) and headed straight for the Wall of Fabric!
There the stitcher met the friendliest and most knowledgeable of all fabric elves, and together they admired and judged, they tossed floss and compared, and in what seemed like the blink of an eye, the stitcher had purchased this:
the perfect linen for not one, not two, but THREE stockings!!
The stitcher was so overjoyed that she proceeded to purchase two additional pieces of fabric from the elf—after all, who knows when she might make it back to Ye Olde Wonderful Cross Stitch Shoppe of the North! She also purchased a small charm and a packet of the golden needles. She did, however, resist the urge to purchase any of the fine designs from the elves. After all, the Royal Bank had only provided a few golden coins for her journey, and she still needed to make the return trip home.
And return home she did with a new bag of stitching goodies by her side and a new lightness in her heart. Without further ado, she took up her stitching and raced onward, desperate to catch up with her Friends of the Guilt-free CHS Stocking SAL. But as she stitched, her project took a puzzling turn. Not only did the design bear no resemblance to her beloved “Primitive Stocking,” but it also contained this brief and cryptic message:
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Yes, dear readers, our beloved stitcher found her fabric and happily began her quest to join her friends on their journey to the Enchanted Land of Finished Projects. But can she catch them? Has this sizeable delay cost her her only hope of ever reaching this elusive land? And where is her “Primitive Stocking”? And what could the simple message sewn into the linen possibly mean? Perhaps, if you’re patient (and if I’m willing to exchange another full night of cross stitching for a long session at the computer), you’ll find out in a future installment of this less-than-B-grade novella.
