Linen Stitcher

Since I haven’t updated my blog in weeks, I thought I’d give you a quiz today to distract you.

Yes, yes, I could offer up the usual excuses: work, family, the holidays, not enough hours in the day, blah, blah, blah. But I’ve already used all of those lame-o excuses, so I needed a new angle.

Instead, I thought I’d test you to see how well you know me. For each question below, it’s up to you to figure out which answer accurately describes me. Think you’re up for the challenge? Well, then put on your thinking cap and take the quiz (and no peeking at another blogger’s computer):

1. I haven’t been blogging lately because:

a. I’ve been vacationing on an undisclosed island in the Caribbean.
b. I’ve been too busy finish-finishing everything I own into pinkeeps, scissor fobs, needlebooks, bookmarks, machine-sewn ornaments with fabulous embellishments, paper weights, area rugs, coffee stirrers—you name it, it’s all finished!
c. I’ve been stitching instead during my six minutes of free time each week.

2. Since the Me, Myself and I Round Robins began on Dec. 31, 2008:

a. I have been diligently working on my neighborhood.
b. I have already completed the project but refrained from posting about my finish so as not to embarrass the other participants.
c. I have been unable to locate a forwarding address for my absentee builder.

3. If I own 659 yards of 28-count linen, 776 yards of 32-count linen, 463 yards of 36-count linen, and 532 yards of 40-count linen—all of it hand dyed and of the highest possible quality—what are the odds that I already have in my stash the perfect linen to kit up the project that I suddenly have to start this very minute?

a. Very likely, or 99.9 percent.
b. Not only very likely, but you’ve probably already cut it to size, serged the edges, and taken your first stitch.
c. What are the odds that pigs can fly?

4. If I own 659 skeins of Weeks overdyed floss, 776 skeins of Gentle Arts overdyed floss, and a not-quite-complete collection of DMC floss, what are the odds that I already have in my stash the perfect threads to kit up that same impulse project?

a. Very likely, or 99.9 percent.
b. Very likely, and since you spent all that time organizing your stash a few months ago, you’ve probably already kitted it up.
c. It would be more likely to find a glacier floating just off the coast of that undisclosed island in the Caribbean.

5. If 6 stitchers each start 12 projects on Tuesday, 9 projects on Thursday, and 4 projects on Saturday, and a half-dozen stitchers embellish 9 scissors fobs, 1 pinkeep, and 2 needlebooks while 17 stitchers participate in 3 seasonal exchanges, 2 personal exchanges, 6 round robins, and 15 PIFs, how many projects will I be able to count as completed in the year 2008?

a. Based on past performance, a conservative estimate would be around 365; of course, that number would be vastly higher if you had stitched every day.
b. I can’t begin to guess, since this year you’ve likely worked your way through every pattern you’ve ever placed on your wish list. Oh, and then we’d have to factor in all of those WIPs and UFOs that you polished off so effortlessly earlier this year when you had all of that free time.
c. Uh, 12. And most of those were the size of a thimble.

6. When my beloved sister called long distance to say that she had some free time to spend in a town that has a cross stitch store and inquired as to whether I needed anything, I responded:

a. by saying: “No thanks. I’m on a strict stash diet, so I just can’t. Why don’t you use the time to go get yourself a piece of homemade pie and a cup of coffee instead?”
b. by hesitating briefly, then saying: “Y’know, I probably need something . . . , but since I just can’t seem to think of a single thing at the moment, let’s just let it go this time.”
c. by doing a 15-minute power search of every single one of the 300+ blogs in my Google Reader in order to identify the must-have supplies from every project I’ve ever drooled over during the massive amount of time I’ve spent blog-surfing since my last visit to a needlework store five months ago, then narrowing it down to the most expensive items that I can—as of this very second—no longer live without and calling my sister back to place an order for those very items, . . . then calling her twice during the 45-minute trip home to see when my new supplies would arrive.

OK, so that’s it. How do you think you did? Time to rate yourself:

Score—
If you answered, for any or all of the questions, by selecting a., then you must be a first-time visitor to my blog. Welcome, have a look around, and please don’t be too disillusioned when you get to know me better.

If you answered, for any or all of the questions, by selecting b., then you might be interested in this bridge I have for sale . . .

And finally, if you answered, for any or all of the questions, by selecting c., then my stitching life is an open book and there’s nothing more to say.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little exercise. May it tide you over till my next blog entry, which I’ll post very soon and which will have lots of stitchy pictures.

Honest!!