I love watching the various shows on the Food Network. I can remember back in the day when PBS was the only channel running cooking shows. My foodie father and brothers held our then sole TV hostage with Mr. Food, the Frugal Gourmet, Julia, and Yan. Being very young and of a short attention span, I thought they were sterile, boring, and too grown up-ish. Now that I’m older and wiser, I can appreciate their techniques and styles. Back then, it was about dish preparation and not showmanship. Sure the hosts had their charms but it wasn’t as hyped as it it today. Whole camps of followers and haters have been built on modern show personalites.
Here is my babbling disection of a few of them.
Giada de Laurentis: How can such a skinny person have that deep of a cleavage? Personally I would not be eating food prepped by someone with perfectly manicured nails and who doesn’t tie her long hair back when cooking. Hey,who’s 3 foot hair is this on my plate of bitz-CO-teee???? Um, no thanks.
Ina Garten: I love butter, therefore I love Ina. I’ve made about 80% of her dishes over the years which is probably what’s pushed my cholesterol through the roof. But I’d do it all over again. Her way of simply bringing out the flavors of the food and not masking them are one of many reasons why I love her. And talk about stage presence! Think it’s easy? Turn a camcorder on and tape yourself cooking dinner tonight. It takes talent to do food prep with a running monologue to an imaginary audience and keep eye contact the whole time. Chances are you’re going to look very forced or like a zombie when you play the clip back. Ina’s like the Mona Lisa, a flat 2-dimensional image that effortlessly projects an unforced personality.
Jacques Pepin: Not a FN star and I’m glad that he hasn’t been roped into their circus. Refreshingly, the focus is on the food and not the host. Though I would watch him just to hear his anecdotes and stories alone, even if there was no food involved.
Sandra Lee: The living embodiment of Good Housekeeping ca. 1955 in the 21st century. *shudder* This chick rubs me the wrong way.
Rachel Ray: Forgetting the pep and baby talk, let’s examine the food. There are some very nice ingredient pairings in her meals. I understand how busy we Americans are and see why the whole concept of easy, fast, convenient, healthy, and inexpensive dinners has such appeal. Cooking really is a luxury and it takes time and effort. I know that most people don’t/won’t/can’t spend either on cooking and it astounds me that they look down on people who do. Holy tangent Batman. I’ll have to come back to this later. As for RR’s presentation, I am in the school of thought that doesn’t mind cheeriness. For some reason, I don’t get violent like I do with Sandra Lee.
Nigella Lawson: The only thing I don’t like about her show is the blurry camera effect, it actually gave me a headache once. But her dishes are wonderful, comfort food at it’s coziest. All of her recipes make sense and fall into place naturally and don’t require any fancy equipment.
Emeril: This is the very first Food TV show that I ever watched and was once absolutely dazzled. But now that high pitched humming thing he does makes me want to dig out my own eardrums and throw them at him.
Michael Chiarello: One word to describe him, his show, his surroundings, and the food he makes: handsome. Not an adjective you hear very often, at least not in my neck of the woods, but it fits him like a skin on a grape. His house reminds me of the fantasies I’d have as a kid about owning the perfect home with high style things inside it. Has anybody seen his website? I wonder if they have a registry. And if I have any rich relatives out there who’d buy me something from it. In the meantime I’ll keep playing those scratch tickets.
Alton Brown: Fun! The foody version of Mr. Wizard. Where can I find a copy of the chicken and hat picture?
Bobby Flay: Smarmy bastid.
Paula Deen: I’ve only seen a few of her shows and very much like her. But I’m more interested in the story of how she built her empire. It’s amazing that she’s such a star but so unspoiled.
