Book Review: "100 Life Lessons..."

100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To by Rosally Saltsman is a wonderful serious but light book. Now, that does sound like a contradiction... But, I really enjoyed reading it and got a lot out of it, too.

It's hard to pigeonhole 100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To into a standard genre. Even though the word "lessons" appears in the title, it's not your usual self-help book, though it does encourage the reader to take things more easily and not panic. It'll all work out. 

Saltsman uses examples of events and situations from her life in each "lesson." She reveals a lot about herself, her short marriage,  her son, her becoming religious and that she lives in Israel. We really get to know and admire her, even if our lives are a bit different. 

Yes, it's almost a memoir. But it's not a memoir. It's a series of 100 Life Lessons. 

In the chapter titled "Who Knows?" Saltsman reminisces about how when she was a student in Brandeis University only when she wanted to join a "Jewish Choir" she discovered that although there were other choirs for students to join, davka, the Jewish university didn't have a "Jewish Choir." She had managed to get the ball rolling to establish one, but for financial reasons, the following year she transferred out to McGill in Montreal, so she wasn't there to participate or even know what happened to her idea. She only discovered that Brandeis actually established a "Jewish Choir"  a number of years later, when she visited there and saw a poster advertising a performance. The lesson here is that you don't know what influence you've had on others. Sometimes you may never even find out. I really liked that.

Another important lesson is titled "Ricki's List." Saltsman tells about her friend Ricki who wrote a list of all the things she had to do before taking a vacation. As happens to many of us, Ricki didn't manage to do everything on her list. Unlike many of us, she happily -without any additional stress- enjoyed her vacation and then, after returning home completed all that was on her list. Apropos to the previous paragraph, I wonder if Ricki realized how this impressed Saltsman until she read  100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To.

I'll end with the lesson "Let It Rain," where Saltsman writes of dancing in the rain, rather than complaining about getting wet. Here in Israel, we're reminded that the quantity of rain each winter, yes  - it only rains in the winter, depends on how satisfied Gd is with our -the Jewish People's- behavior. Rain is a blessing. Gd willing we'll have a wonderful wet winter.

100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To can be ordered on Amazon (click) if you want a kindle version.  For a hard copy (softcover) $21.50/NIS70 (including S&H) or Digital format $4.99/NIS16 through Paypal recipient - [email protected]. Or on Lulu - print to order: click: 100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To.

I highly recommend 100 Life Lessons I’ve Learned So You Don’t Have To for yourself and anyone else you care about.

Dear Cousin, A Book Review

Dear Cousin by Elchonon Boruch Galbut, Mosaica Press, is a eulogy to his cousin, Brian Boruch Tzvi Galbut, who has passed away and is greatly mourned.

The Galbut cousins were part of a large Jewish family that has been in Miami Beach, Florida since the 1920s. In the 1950s and 1960s when Elchonon Boruch and Boruch Tzvi were growing up, the entire clan lived in the same neighborhood and spent a lot of time together, especially Jewish Holidays. 

Boruch Tzvi was a few years older than the author and served as his role model in sports, religion, school and more. When necessary, Boruch Tzvi was even called in to defend his younger cousin.

Elchonon Boruch tried to emulate his older cousin by going to the same yeshiva during his studies in Israel, but they were too different, and Boruch Tzvi ended up helping him make the connections to a different more suitable one, supporting him all the way. 

They ended up with very different professions, Brian Boruch Tzvi being a doctor and Elchonon Boruch combining property development and Torah teaching. Since they also lived in different cities, so they saw less of each other as adults, but like many cousins, they always felt connected.

Dear Cousin is written in an interesting format as "letters" to Boruch Tzvi interspersed among a fascinating narrative geared more to the reader. We learn about the Galbut family, which has been contributing much to Jewish life in Florida for many decades.  

I found Dear Cousin to be very pleasant reading, and I'm glad that the author has made it possible for us to get to know his cousin and the rest of the clan. Yes, I recommend the book. 

From Hollywood To The Holy Land: A Spiritual Odyssey, Book Review

We live in strange times. The media keeps hyping a television reality show that follows a formerly religious Jew who traded a life of mitzvot for money, traif and fame, and here I am reviewing another autobiography/memoir about a Jew who discovered that a life of Torah and mitzvot in the Holy Land has literally saved his life, From Hollywood To The Holy Land: A Spiritual Odyssey, by Tzvi Fishman*. You can read my review of Miranda Portnoy's Making Meaning Out of Madness: A Jewish Journey, here. What should I call this genre?

Fishman wasn't trying to escape a life of disappointments, failure and/or poverty when became interested in Judaism. He was a Hollywood success, scriptwriter of movies that had made it to the screen, a published novelist, friends with celebrities and could get any woman he wanted besides "invitations" from those he didn't. And if he had wanted a "quieter life," his father would have set him up in business in The Virgin Islands. Most people would call that "the American Dream."

But suddenly Fishman's body began to rebel and he developed severe ulcerative colitis. The treatment is steroids, which made him swell up, and as soon as he finished the prescribed period of treatment, the bleeding returned. This pattern went on for months and months, wreaking havoc with his life.

Fishman tried all sorts of cures, diets, Indian master swami, yoga, holistic medicine and more, but none helped his body heal.

Then his buddy Daniel asked a simple innocent question:

"Why don't you know anything about Judaism?"

Fishman realized that it was true. Over the years he had studied all sorts of academic subjects, philosophies and trendy ideologies, but his knowledge of actual Judaism was virtually non-existant. Slowly he began to search and learn. Later on bit by bit he took on various mitzvot, and his ulcerative colitis became history. 

I can't do justice to Fishman's amusing way of describing his journey to Torah Judaism and life in Israel. You really must read it all in his own words. In person Fishman is as entertaining as his book. For a few years he lived across the street from us in Shiloh, and I know the family well. But Fishman never talks about his past, only the present and plans for the future. So it was a real eye-opener to read From Hollywood To The Holy Land. 

In addition to the great story, there are lots of photos helping the book truly come to life. We get to see what Tzvi looked like way back when, scenes from his former life and people and places mentioned in From Hollywood To The Holy Land.

From Hollywood To The Holy Land is highly recommended. It's very well written and the story comes to life, yes, like a movie...

*Yes, this is the same Tzvi Fishman who wrote "Arise and Shine," More Adventures with Tevye and many other more serious books.

Product details

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (August 23, 2019)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 248 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1082429406
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1082429408

Making Meaning Out of Madness: A Jewish Journey, Book Review

Making Meaning Out of Madness: A Jewish Journey by Miranda Portnoy is a memoir, though written in a penname, plus some additional "disguises." 

Miranda Portnoy writes of her very difficult childhood in a dysfunctional Jewish American family with a physically and emotionally abusive mother and difficult father, who eventually left them. Portnoy is closest to her grandfather, but is unable to save him from her father's systematic and eventually fatal abuse. It's made even worse, because the authorities refuse to believe her. 

Despite her toxic family, being taken advantage of by her longtime lover and a vicious conspiracy against her at the university, Portnoy somehow manages to escape to Israel where she survives and thrives as a Torah observant Jew.

Portnoy's story is one of those that sounds too amazing to be believable fiction, but it's true. 

During Portnoy's difficult times, she did find people to help her, a professor who introduced her to Torah Judaism and various therapists. She was even hospitalized at one point; that's how bad things had become. 

I found Making Meaning Out of Madness very readable. It's a well-written and compelling story even though the narrative sounds like a "horror story." I don't like the horror genre and rarely finish such books. Portnoy's innate strength comes through the writing even when telling of her most difficult times. She doesn't give up or give in to the demons who plague her.

Portnoy's life eventually turns around when she starts observing Torah Judaism, moves to Israel, and after one failed try, finds the perfect women's Torah seminary for her needs. It's a fairy tale ending when she's introduced to an amazing man and they marry.

Besides protecting herself by changing all identifiable names, Portnoy isn't shy about letting us know how horrendously difficult her life had been. I highly recommend Making Meaning Out of Madness. It's wonderful to read such a great survival story. 

Product details

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Booklocker.com (November 28, 2021)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 388 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1647188814
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1647188818

Genre Focused Book Club

 A few months ago, as I've already posted, our Book Club came  back to life in a new format. Each monthly meeting is a different genre or author instead of struggling with the logistics of everyone reading, and first finding in one form or another, the same book. 

We all read something by Herman Wouk, then children/youth classics, inspiring books, inspiring people/biographies/memoirs and most recently detective books.

Genre focused meetings are lots of fun and allow us book-lovers to really enjoy and share our love of literature. Another change is that we're taking turns as facilitators. Quite often the facilitator is the member who suggested the genre.

Our detective mysteries ranged from Agatha Christie to Michael Connelly, which really are very different. It's always interesting to see which books have been chosen. I spoke about Michael Connelly, and I was rather shocked to discover that not all of my friends were familiar with any of his many, many series of books and characters.

A few years ago we added a potluck dinner to the meeting's festivities, and now that we're vaccinated it has fully resumed. The only change is NO FINGER FOOD or DOUBLE-DIPPING. 

If you're part of a book club, please tell me about it in the comments, thanks. And if you'd like more information on how we run our club, please fell free to ask.

Because It's Israel: An Aliyah Odyssey, Book Review

Because It's Israel: An Aliyah Odyssey by Arthur Miller is his wonderful saga of how he and his wife ended up in Israel after successful careers in the the states. Miller is a wonderful story teller, honest and humorous.

Having myself made Aliyah a half century ago the easy way, just after our wedding, I always admire those who pack themselves up and change their lives drastically the way the Millers did. Only one of their four children lives in Israel, and they chose to live near her family. Since their Aliyah in 2004, they or their American children and grandchildren now have to fly to see each other.

Miller tells us that their original plan was to make aliyah as a young family, but unfortunately his law profession didn't transfer easily at the time. So instead of raising their family in Israel they ended up raising them in Worcester, Massachusetts, which has a very small percentage of Orthodox Jews. From what Miller alludes to in his book, he played a very large and important role in Worcester. 

"Because it's Israel" was the excuse Miller would hear whenever something seemed strange or illogical. Unlike many, Miller doesn't complain, he just shrugs his shoulders very Israeli-like and repeats the mantra: 

"Because it's Israel"

In Chapter 16, "It Pays to be a Senior," Miller is surprised that his friends couldn't get a senior discount, because they're not Israeli citizens. He wrote that he's sure such discrimination doesn't happen in the United States. I'm sorry to say that in the USA American citizen seniors, if they're expats aren't given senior discounts. During a visit to the states a few years ago, my American passport wasn't accepted as proof of age. I needed proof of residence. American citizenship wasn't enough.

The Millers' aliyah saga includes a lot of "little" and great miracles. The really great miracle is that they lived to come to Israel, since both had serious health emergencies a short while before their target date. Another is that they were able to purchase the exact type of home they had wanted at the exact location, when nothing suitable was actually for sale.

Getting their driving licenses converted to Israeli ones and also buying their first car in Israel certainly needed Arthur Miller's law talents. Because It's Israel: An Aliyah Odyssey is full of amazing little stories. Chapters are short, and it's a pleasant read. 

Because It's Israel: An Aliyah Odyssey is a great book to give anyone thinking of aliyah. I'd also recommend it to those of us who've made aliyah before of after the Millers. I enjoyed reading a book about an aliyah which is so very different from my own.

Product details

• Publisher : JewishSelfPublishing (May 14, 2019)
• Language : English
• Paperback : 246 pages
• ISBN-10 : 9657041015
• ISBN-13 : 978-9657041017
• Item Weight : 11.9 ounces
• Dimensions : 6 x 0.52 x 9 inches

I’m Not the Boss, I Just Work Here- Book Review

I’m Not the Boss, I Just Work Here by Howard Jonas in an inspiring memoir. Jonas reminds us that we don't really know what's going on in other people and that Gd's in control.

Howard Jonas has made and lost more money than most people would dare imagine, but his successful rollercoaster life has included challenges more powerful than simple money. Jonas has had to conquer clinical depression which he found more challenging than making an international fortune. 

In I’m Not the Boss, I Just Work Here, Jonas tells us how he has survived and thrived with the help of Gd despite clinical depression. Jonas doesn't waste words, and the book reads easily. Yes, I recommend it to all. 

The Lost Kitchen, A Book Review

Miriam Green, author of The Lost Kitchen
and I finally met in person

Last week while waiting for one of the classes to begin at Herzog College's amazing Tanach/Bible Yemei Iyun, I heard my name called. It was Miriam Green, fellow blogger and facebook friend. We finally got to meet in person f2f. I've been a fan of Miriam's blog The Lost Kitchen for the longest time. First of all it's a well-written honest blog. It's posted weekly and follows the saga of Miriam's mother's life with Alzheimer’s. Each post is accompanied by a recipe.

Alzheimer’s and/or one (or more) of the more difficult to diagnose/name dementias dominated both my parents' final years, so I'm neither objective nor inexperienced when it comes to the topic.

The Lost Kitchen is a brilliant way of titling the blog, book and Miriam's mother, Naomi. One of the first skills many people lose is caring for themselves, knowing what to shop for, remembering to turn off the stove, prepare food and even remembering to eat.

Green's book opens with her mother's diagnosis of Alzheimer’s. I was really spooked by the fact that her mother was younger than I am now. We're spared the difficult period before that made them suspect that something was very wrong and getting worse. The focus of The Lost Kitchen is how Jack, her father, and Miriam deal with the constant deterioration, challenges and dilemmas of Naomi's Alzheimer’s. Miriam's original idea was to write a cookbook chronicling Jack's unplanned introduction to cooking and the recipes he has adopted for himself as cook.

Even though I'm a loyal follower of the The Lost Kitchen blog, I found reading the book to be a new experience. I wasn't bored. The Lost Kitchen book isn't a simple compilation of the blog. Besides recipes, there are poems. If you like the blog, you'll love the book. And if you've never read the blog you'll find the book a wonderful loving memoir following the gradual loss of a loving mother.

The Lost Kitchen begins after the diagnosis, when Jack is still able to care for Naomi.  At first he manages with Miriam's weekly visits, but then as the Alzheimer’s gets worse, it's clear he needs more help and then even more. Their story is honestly and sensitively told by Miriam.

Dealing with Alzheimer’s seems to be a growing genre as people live longer, and their bodies outlive their cognitive abilities. I reviewed My Mom My Hero by Lisa Hirsch a few years ago, which was written by a childhood friend. Last I heard, her mother is still alive.

I recommend reading The Lost Kitchen, whether you've had to deal with a loved one's Alzheimer’s or any other form of dementia or not. After a half a century in Israel, I sometimes forget that there's a whole other world out there in other countries, and life can be very different. The Lost Kitchen is also a Jewish Israeli story, because the assistance, facilities, society and health care system are probably specific to Israel. Of course the family dynamics and dementia itself, no matter what the specific diagnosis are international. Dementia can happen to anyone, anyplace and any age, due to all sorts of causes.

Miriam Green has written a valuable and unique book, a universal story. As a bonus you get a cookbook, which is valuable on its own. Unlike many cookbooks, this one has easy to follow recipes, without too many exotic, hard to find ingredients. The poems add a gentle touch. Yes, if I haven't been clear, I highly recommend buying The Lost Kitchen for yourself or as a gift for others.

Product details

• Paperback: 274 pages
• Publisher: Black Opal Books (May 4, 2019)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1644370816
• ISBN-13: 978-1644370810
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

"Maybe Esther-A Family Story," Book Review

A few months ago, a neighbor invited us to meet some friends of hers, who were visiting from abroad. They were Yohanan Petrovsky-Shtern and his wife. Yohanan Petrovsky-Shtern is the brother of Katja Petrowskaja, the author of Maybe Esther-A Family Story  We found them to be charming, intelligent and fascinating people. And then a few weeks later, my neighbor gave me Petrowskaja's family memoir/history book which is totally amazing.

"Maybe Esther-A Family Story" tells not only about Katja Petrowskaja's family but about herself, too. She grew up in the Ukraine not knowing all that much about her family's history. There were things like the great-uncle Judas Stern who was an assassin, a crucial tidbit which nobody wanted to talk about. Nobody was certain of her great-grandmother's name; it might have been Esther.

Petrowskaja left the Ukraine as a young woman and, davka, chose to make her life in Germany. "Maybe Esther-A Family Story" was originally written in German. The English translation by Shelley Frisch is excellent. I have no idea how it compares to the original, but it's very readable and flows nicely.

As a young woman, Petrowskaja attempted to distance herself from her Jewish Ukrainian roots, while her brother became a religious Jew. Their ancestors also went in different directions, and Petrowskaja tells of the challenges she took on to search for and document their amazing sagas.

Petrowskaja is descended from teachers, but not the usual academic, science, math or history teachers. Her family taught the deaf and had unique techniques for teaching clear speech to those who couldn't hear.

Of course, as with any Jewish Ukrainian family there are two large "elephants in the room," the Soviet Union and the Holocaust. Petrowskaja manages to deftly weave all of this together in a very readable tapestry. I highly recommend Maybe Esther-A Family Story.

Product details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Harper (January 30, 2018)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062337548
• ISBN-13: 978-0062337542

Stories Told by Steve Sherr, A Book Review

I just finished reading Steve Sherr's memoirs, No Stories to Tell, and it's full of stories. Sherr begins by telling of his rather ordinary New York Jewish-style childhood. And he continues in a surprising way by ending up taking on Orthodox Torah Judaism and retiring to Israel.

Considering that I'm just a few years younger, also raised in a rather assimilated Jewish home in New York and also now a religious Jew living in Israel, you'd think that Sherr's story would be familiar to me. It isn't anything like mine.

Not long ago, I was discussing with someone that there are a lot of tell-all books written by Jews who were raised in very religious homes but "left the life style." We discussed how we need books of the opposite genre, and I said that they won't be all that interesting, because the writers will be much too discreet, embarrassed and protective of their families and themselves to write a "bestseller." As interesting and well-written as Steve Sherr's book is, it does match my description/prediction. It's very discreet. I have lots of questions to ask about his and his wife's rather late in life change to an Orthodox Torah observant life.

On the other hand, Sherr is rather upfront and open about his unhappiness and depression before he felt a spiritual experience, which showed him that there is a Gd. He tells us how he searched to find out what would fill that spiritual need and then the difficulties in trying to make these changes palatable to his wife and children.

There was also an irony in his becoming more successful and popular as a campus psychologist in a very secular Leftist college campus as he became more Torah observant. The head-covering and tzitziyot didn't frighten away troubled students.

As Sherr began to get into the "meat" of his story, I found the book hard to put down. Although he had been trained as a counselor and psychologist to  believe and help people to accept  "everything," no rules nor absolutes, he himself found a belief in Gd and peace and purpose by following Gd's commandments. And although Sherr had a successful career in California, he and his wife are now happily living in the Golan Heights. Actually as I read of their search for a suitable place to live in Israel, I kept hoping they'd try Shiloh. If they'd like to visit, they can give me a call...

No Stories to Tell is a cross between a memoir and a series of autobiographical essays, stories, diary entries or possibly blog posts. At times its identity/genre gets me confused, especially in the last section. But all in all, I did enjoy reading it and recommend it to others.

• Publisher: Steven D. Sherr (August 1, 2016)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0692755810
• ISBN-13: 978-0692755815

"The Pater," A Book Review

As soon as I had heard that Elliot Jager had written a book, The Pater, a memoir, I knew I had to get a copy to review. To be honest, I must admit that we're acquainted through mutual friends, and I remember their excitement at his and Lisa's meeting and marriage. Also, it was Jager who is responsible, indirectly and unintentionally, for my blogging. When he was working for the Jerusalem Post, he was the editor who told me that the op-eds that I had been submitting would be held for days (or longer-- one wasn't published for months) and I couldn't submit to multiple publications until I got an official rejection. After hearing that, I knew that I needed to find a much better way to get my views out. And I've been a blogger ever since.

Now back to the book, The Pater. It is focused on the fact that Jager and his wife Lisa are childless. Years ago, I had thought they had a child, but it must have had been because I had seen Lisa holding one of those of the mutual friends.

From Bible stories to Hasidic folktales to contemporary media, the discourse on infertility is becoming an increasingly widespread topic for open discussion. However, it largely remains within the context of womanhood. In THE PATER, writer and journalist Elliot Jager tackles what has until now been an almost taboo subject: what it feels like to be a childless Jewish man...

This is a topic that many people don't talk about, especially the men. And in his book, Jager tells more than his own story. He searched for and interviewed other Jewish men who never had children.

Elliot Jager: "No man has ever written a book about the meaning of life without children. This is that book. I try to blend my personal story about my relationship with my Holocaust-survivor father. He abandoned me on the Lower East Side when I was a boy. We did not see or speak to each other for 30 years. Then, our reconciliation was overshadowed by his religious obsession over my childlessness. I also tell the stories of other childless men often touching on their relationships with their fathers. And, throughout, I grapple with the quest to find meaning--Jewish and otherwise-- in a life without children."

The Pater isn't an autobiography written in a clear sequential order. It is more like a box of  old treasures you find in "the attic," and as you pull things out you're taken back to various non-sequential events in your past. At times it was a bit confusing, but I was able to follow. And I actually liked the fact that it wasn't organized in a logical sequence, nor is it divided in sections/topics. The interviews with other men are dispersed throughout the book. It's very possible and probable that Jager has a system, possibly according to how similar or dissimilar the stories and conclusions were to his own.

I definitely recommend reading The Pater and also giving it as a gift. As difficult as the topic may be, the book is very easy to read and did not take me long at all. It's not a "heavy book," nor is it depressing. I found one small mistake in Jager's Biblical examples. He stated that in the Biblical cases of infertility all of the men had children with other wives. That isn't so; Isaac had no other wife nor children except the later born twins with Rebecca.

Parallel to the subject of Jager's infertility, is his religious evolution from the Yiddish based Orthodox Jewish education of his childhood, to secular American university to labeling himself as a Conservative Jew and finally admitting that he never was a strong believer.

In today's world, in which marriage and children and large families are less common than they once were, there are many cases in which people find themselves the "last of the line" from either one or both parents. By writing The Pater Jager also mourns his mother and her parents, because both she and he were "only children," and there are no more from their direct line. His mother was an amazingly strong woman who managed to support and raise Jager on her own under very difficult circumstances. I see this book as a tribute to her. And no doubt it will be read for generations to come...

Dancing Memories...

I started to go to dancing school at the age of three. There was a woman, a Mrs. Sullivan, if I remember correctly who had a "dancing school" in her tiny basement. Classes were small, and at the end of each year there was a large recital in the local school, P.S. 46. Bayside, NY.

Each class performed and we had costumes as you can see here. The year of this picture we were "toy soldiers" if I'm not mistaken. From the shoes, it must have been when I was four or five. I know the names of two of the other girls. One is my friend Lisa  who writes about her mother on Alzheimer's - My Mom My Hero. Our parents were close friends for maybe half a century. We were friends and neighbors when we were little and then became nextdoor neighbors as teens and then lost contact until reunited not long ago, when I found her on facebook. The girl next to me is Margaret (Margie) Gruen (at least that was her name when we were kids.) We haven't been in touch for more than fifty years. I have no idea what has happened to her, and I don't remember the other girls at all.

This picture brings back so many memories, especially of how much I have always liked to dance.

Can you guess which little girl is me?

Still Writing That Journal

It's almost four weeks since my mother passed away in Tempe, AZ, very quietly and undramatically while napping after breakfast.  Since I played no part in planning the funeral, and due to American laws and customs, the funeral was a half a week later.  That left me in a very strange halachik Jewish Law status.  There wasn't all that much I was permitted to do, or really felt like doing.  It also took a couple of days until I knew for sure when the funeral would even be, which delayed the purchase of plane tickets to New York.

I kvetched on facebook about my forced inactivity, no going to work, no reading fun books, no watching TV or movies etc.  David Bedein--Behind the News in Israel quickly came up with a suggestion:

"You're a writer; keep a journal.  If you don't have a laptop to take around when you're traveling, get an old-fashioned notebook."

So I sent my husband to the local store and he got me a small (half-size) notebook.  It's a amazing how quickly it began to fill.  I wrote a lot.  I started it when I was home. I wrote when in the airport, on the plane, at my sister-in-law's, again in the airport, airplane then home in between shiva visitors.  I even had to ask my sister-in-law to buy me another one. (She got me a set of three from Staples.) I take the notebook all the time with me and write on buses and when waiting and at home and babysitting at my daughter's.  I admit that sometimes days pass when I haven't found or made the time to write, but when I write there's so much to write.

When I began writing it, I figured that it would be a good activity for the first thirty days, aka שלושים Shloshim.  In my mother's case it's really more than thirty days, since the halachik end of shloshim is calculated according to burial, and hers was delayed a couple of days.  Since I haven't committed to saying a daily Yizkor, I did not think I needed the year of reflection that Ari L. Goldman used to frame his memoir of his father, Living a Year of Kaddish, which my friend lent me, so I'd have something permitted/suitable to read.

The Goldman book was the perfect book for me to read at the time.  It's honest and reflective.  It doesn't claim perfection, not of his father nor himself.

Ari Goldman is a well-known published writer, not a blogger.  He wrote an excellent book, which I recommend reading. 

I do plan on "doing something" with this journal I'm writing, most probably make it into an e-book, which can be accessed through one of those e-publishers, or whatever.  If by some strange unexpected miracle, the book gains some commercial popularity then maybe there would be a paper version.  But the main reason for writing this journal is, like my blogging, to keep me sane and express my thoughts and feelings.  It's not meant to be a classic biography or autobiography.  It is a memoir with all the quirks characteristic of that genre.

Memoir (from French: mémoire: memoria, meaning memory or reminiscence), is a literary nonfiction genre. More specifically, it is a collection of memories that an individual writes about moments or events, both public or private that took place in the author's life. The assertions made in the work are understood to be factual. While memoir has historically been defined as a subcategory of autobiography since the late 20th century, the genre is differentiated in form, presenting a narrowed focus. Like most autobiographies, memoirs are written from the first-person point of view. An autobiography tells the story of a life, while memoir tells a story from a life, such as touchstone events and turning points from the author's life. The author of a memoir may be referred to as a memoirist.

I've been including things that some people may find unpleasant, but that's all from my truth, how I remember my mother, my life.  None of us are perfect, and if life was perfect, it would make a very boring read.

PS re: the old-fashioned pen and paper method of writing
I actually find it much more efficient and less distracting than when I type on a computer.  At first my handwriting was terribly "rusty."  I wasn't used to writing more than a few words by hand.  But now I really enjoy sitting with my little spiral notebook and pen.  Of course there will be a need to type it all up, but that will be the first stage of editing, no doubt. I'm not the type to hold a laptop on my lap in all sorts of places.  I don't even have one of those lightweight computers.  I do my "heavy typing" on a pc in the den.  The dining room laptop, lives on the dining room table during the week.  It's more tiring to type on that the pc.  I was taught touch-typing in the 7th grade, JHS 74, over half a century ago. I need a good standard, old-fashioned keyboard.  Or I need a pen and paper.