Benji Lovitt

@benjilovitt

Comedian, writer, educator, self-proclaimed cultural differences expert. Doing standup on a stage near you.

Tel Aviv
Beigetreten Juni 2008
Geboren am 27. September

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  1. vor 17 Stunden

    I just got rabbinical dispensation to get called up for an aliyah with "Ya'amooood.....Yoda ben Jack Tripper hashlishiiii."

  2. vor 17 Stunden

    I just got rabbinical dispensation to grant other people dispensations. This is the Jewish version of 3D printing a 3D printer.

  3. vor 17 Stunden

    I just got rabbinical dispensation to play "Funky Cold Medina" during the Aleinu.

  4. vor 18 Stunden

    I just got permission to wear a cheeseburger sundress to shul. I know it sounds weird but my rabbi gave me a pass so IT'S TOTALLY COOL.

  5. 18. Mai

    I've found the guy who could bring peace to this region....

  6. 17. Mai

    The first 1st to make the "Guns and Moses" shirt cool. His Hebrew didn't compare to Mick Jagger's but Mick didn't say "I'm making aliyah!"

  7. 17. Mai

    Best lyric change we could ever hear: "You ain't seen nothing Till you're down on מעפן"

  8. 17. Mai

    "Better Call Saul" + Jetlag = Thoughts of watching "Breaking Bad" for a third time. It will happen someday....

  9. 16. Mai

    After week of back pain, I called Maccabi Tivi. Apparently עישוי is "massage". I thought she was asking me how I wanted my steak done.

  10. 15. Mai

    Israelis, what are these? This is the most kosher-for-Pesach tasting food I've ever had, and it's not Pesach. Why is El Al serving this?

  11. 15. Mai

    Ironically their kosher meals are delicious.

  12. hat retweetet
    11. Mai

    Alex Ovechkin maybe only Russian not having any influence in Washington right now.

  13. hat retweetet
    10. Mai
  14. hat retweetet
    10. Mai

    Trump fires head of Russia Trump investigation and invites Russia to the White House the next morning. Bad optics? Try Ray Charles optics.

  15. 8. Mai

    More marketing slogans that will never catch on: Tortit puts the "bar" in "Barghouti".

  16. 7. Mai

    Tourism slogans that will never take off: "We put '' in the ''. "

  17. 6. Mai
  18. Benji Lovitt folgt jetzt , , und 3 weitere
    • @RabbiIris

      Rabbi - Believer in justice, Jewish pluralism and the power to repair the world / tikkun olam | Conservative Rabbi but liberal | Facebook

    • @THaerosmith

      Bassist of Aerosmith

  19. 5. Mai

    "It's going to burn, wash your hands after you eat, drink plenty of water...." Are we eating hot chicken or going to the Dead Sea? – bei Bolton's Spicy Chicken & Fish

  20. 4. Mai

    See that blue dot? I should ask people what they think about today's vote and say I'm

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