Police Officers of Reddit, what laws (big or small) do you break on a regular basis with absolutely no remorse?

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T14:46:37+00:00

Come to think of it I don't think I've seen many British police officers bringing their sons to weekly archery practice...

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T13:25:01+00:00

I don't get it. I assume this is some sort of racist joke but I don't know this stereotype.

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T09:57:45+00:00

I never saw it. The first I heard was when my friend told me a much shorter version yesterday and his number was 68.

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T08:38:56+00:00

I thought I had a dirty mind. I don't even want to know how you made that kind of leap.

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T08:36:16+00:00

I don't do reposts. I spent long time writing this.

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T08:34:24+00:00

We don't have those in Britain.

seabutcher · 2016-12-23T00:03:03+00:00

No offence is taken, I'm simply curious. This is something I don't ever recall learning.

I do recall being taught to use hyphens asymmetrically (I don't ever remember being taught that a hyphen and a dash are different things, but this may be a gap in my memory), and this is a habit I will probably retain for a long time, but come to think of it I think I'm the only person I've seen do it - I'll try and pay more attention to it.

How do I actually produce the em-dash on a normal (well, British) keyboard?

As an aside here I never thought I'd get grammar lessons from someone named "fapstronaut2609". So that's pretty amusing to me.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T22:55:37+00:00

And then you can have a beautiful agreement threesome.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T22:54:04+00:00

It's also quite a scary thing to do, even as the person choking. At least, it is if you particularly care about the person you're choking or don't have a backup plan to dispose of a body.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T22:46:16+00:00

Apologies. With the number of people saying it, I've started taking it a bit too personally, I think.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T19:27:52+00:00

Sorry to disappoint you. I don't really know any cricket jokes...

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T18:00:44+00:00

The dog is aware of this, however the farmer explicitly said to round them up.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T17:13:33+00:00

The dog has an engineering degree, remember. He should know the difference between rounding up and down. Anything else is just ridiculous.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:52:28+00:00

Can't it be all three?

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:44:39+00:00

In my defence I never said he was a good farmer. And people in jokes generally take courses of action that are more familiar to the intended audience.

Also I just actually didn't know where they came from before people started pointing out my error. I always said the fastest way to learn something is to be wrong about it on the internet...

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:39:35+00:00

I never said he was a good farmer.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:38:38+00:00

Well, I never actually said he was a good farmer.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:33:19+00:00

You can more or less get the important bits from the title and the punchline, if that helps. The rest was really just to waste your time and build suspense.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:32:01+00:00

There's something extra flattering about getting a compliment from someone I'm a big fan of. Thanks. :)

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:29:02+00:00

Because "person overcomes unusual problem via the most logical course of action" doesn't really sound like a good formula for a joke.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:26:13+00:00

I'm going to take that as a compliment. It's the sort of thing that just ends up in my writing sometimes, and I'm kinda glad to be aware of how the little details affect it. Although in the context of the joke, I mostly just did it to pad things out. My goal was to waste your time in building up the punchline after all. :)

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:23:48+00:00

Speaking as someone who cares about grammar (possibly beyond my own ability to use it), would you mind explaining the difference between hyphens and dashes? I thought I was doing it right.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T16:21:52+00:00

Because, the real joy in a joke is in wasting someone's time.

It all started earlier today, when my friend initially told me a version that was about three lines long. I thought it was funny, but that being needlessly long-winded about building up to a punchline can be a lot of fun itself, because it gives the reader more time to wonder and speculate before surprising them with something that with hindsight feels painfully obvious. It builds tension and suspense, which is necessary to the kind of disappointment puns are supposed to evoke.

As you can see, I'm doing the same sort of thing in this comment.

seabutcher · 2016-12-22T14:25:59+00:00

I find it's a formula for great jokes and terrible sex.

seabutcher

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