“In the Youth Congress, if you have support and can get elected, you can be a leader” – Rahul Gandhi [Link]

The truth has a way of slipping out at unexpected times, right Mr.Gandhi? Without your family’s support and money, would you have become a leader?

The story is incomplete…Mr. Gandhi forgot to mention all the rules of the game…

Rule 1

Morals are for idiots…An honest politician is an oxymoron

Rule 2

Neta = Clout + Money (Bribes, Swindling, Extortion) + Goonda + Dubious Record + Manipulative Skills + Ability to make outrageous comments and later deny them (foot-in-mouth syndrome) + Disconnect from reality

Rule 3

Qualifications required: 3rd. standard fail certificate + long criminal record (murder, rape, fraud, extortion)

Rule 4

Wear white…If you can’t afford Ariel or Surf, use Nirma…If you can’t afford even Nirma, wear saffron

Rule 5

Working for constituents is unfashionable…The first 2 years have to be devoted to recouping election expenses and the next 3 to raising money for reelection or retirement

Rule 6

Be fluent in at least one vernacular language…Forget English

Rule 7

Always travel in a motorcade with 50 ‘black cats’…Make sure to block traffic…After all, politicians are aam aadmi

Rule 8

Weekends are yours…Try your best make each and every weekend a long one by not attending parliament on Mondays

Rule 9

Make sure to employ a good CA to hide your black money…Be well versed in Swiss and Cayman Islands banking laws

Rule 10

Get involved in a scam at the first opportunity

Edited to add:

Rule 11

Make sure to hire good PR people to organize symposiums dedicated to your praises while doing nothing for your constituents or country…Keep on offering freebies like plastic water containers (coloured), colour TVs, rice at Rs.2/kg, free electricity etc. without caring two hoots about the financial implications

Rule 12

Always be ready to go on indefinite hunger strikes from 6 am to 12 noon when things don’t go your way

Rule 13

Make sure to rent a good cold storage facility to house your election promises…Recycling is the need of the day

Rule 14

Never offend extremists especially foreign ones