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when?
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
When?
In a month … maybe two… a year… maybe two
Wounds would calm down
Would ease… and go to sleep… maybe even pass away
My wound is not the same
The size of my wound
Bigger than scope of space
The age of my wound
Older than time
Good-bye years of happiness
Sweet dreams
Genuine smiles
Good-bye my life
Good-bye my love
Sweetheart
I see you… far… far away… out of my reach…
I gasp for you
On the brink of insanity I linger
Broken… lonely… remnants of a woman I sit and wait
Sweetheart
I see you far… far away… out of my reach…
I see you with my heart
With my soul
With my love
I see your hands
Your smile… your laughter
Your words… your voice
Your gaze… your brow
Sweetheart
I see you far… far away… out of my reach…
Aimless… breathless… on the path of insomnia that I never took before
I race
Every step without you is blind darkness
Every move… a wobbly venture
Every blink… an aborted dream
Every heartbeat… a paradise lost
Every breath I take is a craving new wound
Sweetheart
The night of longing has spread its wings out
Over a yearning wounded woman
Aching to see
An end
To all this pain
13-10-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Now I whisper
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Now I whisper
You are my joy and my sorrow
You used to whisper
When you smile and when you laugh
You make me the happiest man on earth
You used to whisper
When you’re hurt or when you cry
My heart is filled with grief and gloom
You used to whisper
Detached, my feelings are lifeless
A broken mirror… a scrambled shadow
You used to whisper
My feelings are nothing but a faint echo
You are my joy and my sorrow
You used to whisper
Your love taught me anguish and delight
Now I whisper
You are my joy and my sorrow
Now I whisper
12-03-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Nostalgia
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Nostalgia
Since my eyes met with yours
I knew…
I knew it was you
The one my heart was yearning for
“Love at first sight”
They say
When you proposed
Hesitation struck
I thought… I’m still too young
I thought… I don’t know you well enough
I thought… we’ve only met a few times
I thought… I need time to think
I thought… are you as nice as you look
I thought… can you make a good husband
I thought… will you be a responsible father
I also thought… I like you too much already
Without knowing much about you
I thought…how stupid of me
Later, when you told me
That you have heart problems
I couldn’t say “no” any more
YES, was my immediate answer
I thought…If I say “no” now
That might mean I am refusing you
For something beyond your control
I thought… illness and health
Have nothing to do with life and death
I thought…grow up girl
And live up to your principles
My parents were horrified
How could I say “yes”
When I knew the problem
Stubborn, as you know
I insisted
After engagement
I began to realise
You are no ordinary man
Your inner beauty began to unfold
I knew I had stumbled upon
A treasure like no other
My love didn’t stop growing
Ever since
9-2-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Longing
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Longing
Longing to touch your face
Tell you how beautiful
Just like your soul
Longing to hold your hand
Tell you how warm
Just like your heart
Longing to stroke your hair
Tell you how soft
Just like your manners
Longing to gaze into your eyes
Tell you how gorgeous
Just like your charisma
Longing to hear your voice
Tell you how tender
Just like your personality
Longing to caress your brow
Tell you how pure
Just like your essence
Longing to lay by your side
Tell you how safe
Just like your company
Longing to nibble from your fingers
Tell you how delicious
Just like your persona
Longing to hear your keys in the door
Tell you how comforting
Just like your presence
Longing to receive your emails
Tell you how uplifting
Just like your spirit
Longing to see your number on my mobile
Tell you how exciting
Just like your friendship
Longing to chat with you on msn
Tell you how moving
Just like your love
Longing to rest in your arms
And sleeeeep
Sleep for ever
Longing to lay my head
Over your shoulders
Bury my face
In your chest
And weep
Weeeeeep
As I’ve never done before
I need to weep
And fill the oceans with my tears
I need to weep
Until the world weeps with me
I need to weep
Until The Most Compassionate
Feels sorry for me
And reunites me with you
For I am longing
To be with you
Habibi
5-2-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Like two small children
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Like two small children
Do you remember that magical afternoon?
When the sun smiled at us
And like two fascinated children
We smiled back
Then, like two playful children
We ran together
Chasing a butterfly
On the hills of Windermere
Like two happy children
We wandered together
As we enjoyed our fruity ice-cream
Along the lake’s shoreline
Like two innocent children
We played together
Arranging cups and saucers for our picnic
In our secret garden
Like two mischievous children
We giggled together
As we collected the scattered petals of roses
That the newly-wed couple threw away
And like two joyful children
We laid ourselves down on the grass
Embracing heaven…
And earth
As we rolled over
Do you remember?
12-2-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Let there be love
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Let there be love
I am in pain
Yes…
Too much pain
I don’t deny
Yet wings of joy are spread wide
Carrying me through
Lifting me high
Joy of knowing you
So closely
Joy of being part of your life
If only for a while
Joy of sharing memories
That no one knows but you and me
And if I was to choose another life
I’d choose my life with you again
And again
And again
And again
If you make a home for “love” within your heart
Despite the pain your life becomes a home for joy
Let there be love
There’ll always be joy
10-2007
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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In the nest of Ness
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
In the nest of Ness
Overlooking the rockery garden
In your loving arms
I fell asleep
Your lap
Most tender pillow
And warm abode
For how long did you hold me sitting so still?
I never even asked
Sky was drizzling love
Clouds gleaming with delight
And for a while
Peace descended
Angels snoozed
Heaven smiled
My reality…
Sweeter
Than the most astounding dreams
07-06-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Khaled; my legend
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Khaled; my legend
I plait my poem,
Letters of heavenly fragrance
Arranging its words
A bouquet of scented flowers
I sang its melody
Whispers of soft musk
And pink amber
Pouring it down upon your heart
A cascade of lights
Tranquility and peace
I gather the pages
Of autumn leaves
From the land of wonderful dreams
Adorned with warm paintings
Of rainbow colours and eastern nights
With a mystical thread of stars
I embroider my mythical love story
Into a book, like no other
A masterpiece of passion
A saint’s adoration of paradise
Weaving Joseph’s coat of multicolour
Of summer’s warmth
Of the glory of spring
And the longing in lovers’ hearts
Throw it over your shoulders
Then, with a child’s magical wand
I turn you into a sparkle of light
Hide you in my heart
Warming, and protecting you
To blossom with eternal life
That matches your name
My beloved husband
1996
Khaled is an Arabic name which means eternal life, it’s also my husband’s name
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Land of sorrow
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Land of sorrow
Do you remember
When I wrote my legend
And with my magical wand
I turned you into a sparkle of light
Then hid you in my heart
That sparkle has then exploded
With a novel big bang
A universe of love was born
With a thousand thousand stars
Dazzling… superb… splendid
If I was to divide that love
Between all creation
It will suffice and sustain
Do you remember Joseph’s coat of multicolour
That I once stitched for you
And threw over your shoulders
That coat has then shrouded me
It embraced me along with you
Can you feel me by your side?
That coat has been growing ever since
Elegant… graceful
If it was to hold the entire mankind
Under its wings
It will keep all warm and protected
In my deepest land of sorrow
Love grows soft and tender
Passion blooms pink and amber
Beauty thrives please remember
07-03-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Inseparable
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Inseparable
I was there with you
When love fell in love
I was there with you
When joy rejoiced
I was there with you
When freedom was set free
And I was there with you
When the sea drowned
I was there with you
When the sun was burnt
I was there with you
When death passed away
I was there with you
When all began
And I was there with you
When all ended
Do you remember?
7-2-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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I would if I could 1
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
I would if I could
1
I would if I could, take your place
Lie down in a hospital bed
And surrender
Let the surgeon’s knife
Cut me open
For it is much easier for me
To experience the pain
To live the pain
Than watch you hurt
Even with a pin prick
I would if I could, take your ache away
Hide you
Protect you
Keep you out of harm’s way
15-11-05
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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I would if I could 2
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
I would if I could
2
I would if I could
Wait for you
Until you’re ready
To be my companion
In my final journey
I would if I could
Fight death fiercely
Until he can see
That we are one soul
living in two different bodies
I would if I could
Buy a thousand lives
Add them to mine
Just to make sure
You’re never left alone
I would if I could
Stay by your side
Holding you near my heart
With my arms around you
Until we eternally combine
I would if I could
Keep my promise
To live with you
And to die with you
16-03-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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I said… you
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
I said… you
They said… a sun
Within its radiation
The secret of existence
I said… you
They said… a full moon
Within its light
The enchantment of eternity
I said… you
They said… a melody
A heavenly tune most entrancing
A song… pure… divine
I said… you
They said… a flower
A bouquet of roses
A garden sweet delightful
I said… you
They said… a work of art
Superb, fascinating
Adored by artists
I said… you
They said… a heart
Most loving, most tender
Beating with compassion
I said… you
They said… a prayer
Whispered at dawn
By a young girl
Longing for perfection
I said… you
Sweet heart
You… my answered prayer
1996
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Heavenly qualities
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Heavenly qualities
In the winter mornings
When the sun is late coming out
The winds are blowing
The grounds are frozen
I am still tucked in
You sneak out of bed
Ever so quietly… ever so gently
Trying hard not to disturb my sleep
Then when you start getting dressed
You don’t even put the lights on
Ever so quietly… ever so gently
Trying hard to give an extra hour sleep
But sometimes… despite all your efforts
I still wake up
And from the bottom of my heart
From the depths of my soul
I start my day… praying… for you
Your boundless love … endless compassion
Heavenly qualities
Never cease to amaze me
31-03-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Feelings and words
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Feelings and words
Trying to squeeze
Feelings into words
Is no act of justice at all
It distorts… it disfigures
It belittles… it demeans
It’s a great offence without a doubt
And to my shame and disgrace
Indeed I am to blame
Truly “Guilty” I declare
Defend me not
I don’t deserve
For feelings can only be felt
So, when I write about my love
Don’t ever think
That I’m making sense
No language can ever convey
The eternal
For expression falls short
By far
And feelings can only be felt
When I write about my sorrow
Don’t dare believe
My words or verses
My speech is nothing
But hollow hues
How can the infinite
Ever be defined
Feelings can only be felt
And truly “Guilty” I declare
02-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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Dreams and realities
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
Dreams and realities
“There is only a fine line that divides
Dreams and reality”
They say
In my world
There is no line
My dreams and my reality
Are one and the same
Smoothly
Blending in
As colours unite
New hues are born
From blue and yellow
Gentle green emerges
As red embraces blue
Vivid violet comes to life
My universe is a rainbow
Of many… many colours
No lines
No divisions
My dreams and my reality merge
As if smudged
By an artist brush
I… like a feather
Drift in between
25-04-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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A rainbow in grey skies
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
A rainbow in grey skies
My anguish
A bottomless well
Echoing the murmur of my pain
My grief
Dry autumn leaves
Dancing over my wounds
My sorrow
Dark thick clouds
Haunting my hollow heart
My world
A meaningless word
Grey… grey… grey multihued
Devoid of my sweetheart’s laughter
My being
A limping lump of flesh and bones
Wobbly… confused… forever waiting
With a lopsided smile
My love
A buoyant rainbow
Cascade of lights
Alluring fantasy
Untouchable mirage
07-06-2006
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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My hajj experience
Posted on January 22, 2007 by Nahida Exiled Palestinian
My hajj experience:
Humbled by the sheer number of people, their dedication, sincerity, and longing, enriched by the rainbow of eager fervent faces celebrating the entire humanity, empowered by an invisible bond of spiritual brotherhood, love, and togetherness; all in a state of total devotion, adoration and gratitude to The One Most Loving Creator.
Stunned, I froze.
Everything else froze with me.
I wanted to capture every face, happy or sad, to save every smile and frown. I wanted to hold every heart with all its joys and sorrows to wrap it up warm and bury it deep in mine. I wanted to whisper to every soul therein of waves of love, prayers, and gratitude that overwhelmed me.
Feelings! What can I say about feelings in such a place? Fondness with absolute submission, elation with total humility, euphoria with utter serenity, weakness with boundless vigour, despair with endless hope, yearning with eternal contentment; permanently travelling constantly arriving, all pilgrims floating in their own orbits in a peaceful august harmony, chanting their prayers, whispers of unspoken words, songs of silent sighs, transforming the ambience into one of stillness and tranquillity, revealing numinous music with majestic melodies, magnetic tunes, and enormous magnitude that charged the atmosphere, hypnotizing you into a gentle unfathomable daze.
The bond gets stronger and stronger as you start blending into the background of a magnificent masterpiece, diminishing into nothingness, as you experience being one with the whole that there is. You are an atom spinning passionately with the totality of the universe. The macro, the micro and all in between are in a state of oneness that I’ve never sensed with this depth, scale or intensity. Mind dazzling, heart capturing and awe inspiring experience.
Engulfed in mystical mist of love, compassion and mercy that I’ve never felt before, and like all who’re around me I could find nothing but tears streaming down to tell of my joy.
Time lapsed, motion collapsed, and all anguish relapsed as I drank ecstasy and tasted infinity.
Deluded
I thought I could sing before
Why can’t I hear my voice today?
I thought I could paint and write poems
I thought I was articulate
I could bend, shape and wave words
Like a dough, with ease
To speak of I want and plait my story
Where are my words now?
Why can’t I find them?
To tell of how I felt and what I saw
I thought I could write before
How wrong I was
My words are diminishing
Crumbling
Melting like a July snowman
A flock of dears – foreseeing an earthquake- running away
Dry autumn leaves dropping
Scattered in a stormy day
How can I construct my sentences when my dictionary is blank?
How can I?
Ashamed of their flaws
Fearful of their impotence
All escaped
And words are no more
For how can they describe the indescribable?
As the universe stops revolving
And falls into stillness
Faints into nothingness
Fades into silence
In the presence of
The Sublime
17 January 2007
© Copyright 2006 Nahida Izzat -PoetryforPalestine – All Rights Reserved
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