Best Nights of the Week

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• (713): View more from Texas

  It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  ARE YOU OKAY?

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Physically? Yes. Morally? No.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer

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• 

  These 21 People Had The Worst Sex Ever And They’ve Got The STDs To Prove It

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"

  (415): View more from California

  what did G.P. say?

  (619): View more from California

  oddly enough it was a dick pic

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"

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• (407): View more from Florida

  My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?

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• 

  25 Of The Most Epic Pick Up Line Fails

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (231): View more from Michigan

  I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm afraid to ask, but go on.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...

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