An entity whose opinions on the consumption of pork has been a matter of hot debate amongst the world's religions.
Jew: "YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork."
Christian: "No He doesn't! Jesus and Paul took that law back a little while later."
Muslim: "Yes, He does forbid it, the Jew is right for once! Allah made this very clear 600 years after Jesus and Paul were alive!"
Pagan:"No, the gods do not forbid eating pork. In fact, we have to throw the bones of our slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire to scare the demons away!"
Hindu:"Not true, the Dharmic law forbids eating any meat, including pork. Eating pork will only anger the gods."
Atheist:"I can't believe we're actually talking about stuff like this..."
Christian: "No He doesn't! Jesus and Paul took that law back a little while later."
Muslim: "Yes, He does forbid it, the Jew is right for once! Allah made this very clear 600 years after Jesus and Paul were alive!"
Pagan:"No, the gods do not forbid eating pork. In fact, we have to throw the bones of our slaughtered livestock into the communal bonfire to scare the demons away!"
Hindu:"Not true, the Dharmic law forbids eating any meat, including pork. Eating pork will only anger the gods."
Atheist:"I can't believe we're actually talking about stuff like this..."
by Jack Torrance-Overlook Hotel January 10, 2009
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Buy the mugThe name given to a supernatural being in which millions place their faith. Regardless of the truth of his/her existance, just the thought that he/she might be there has given strength to many. However at the same time, God has been blamed for many possibly man-made mistakes (ex. mass murder in his/her name, when in fact most religious texts have something to the effect of "Do Not Kill.") In the end, belief is not something that can be forced upon anyone, but it is up to everyone to decide what they believe.
Crusader: We must reclaim the Holy Land!
God: Why?
Crusader: For your glory, we will kill the non-believers.
God: Hows about you hand me a coke and we'll call it even.
God: Why?
Crusader: For your glory, we will kill the non-believers.
God: Hows about you hand me a coke and we'll call it even.
by Silentedge August 24, 2009
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Buy the mugGod : I am God, Moses, and their IS none else !
Moses : er, yeahhhh, wellllll, that's great n' all Sky Pappy, but seems to me the Kardashians have pretty much been conveying the same message for over ten years now ... ummm, got anything else ?
God : Okay wise ass, try this on - thou shalt have NO other gods than me and thou WILT serve ONLY ME all the days of thine life !
Moses : Hmmm, impressive comeback, but come to think of it, didn't Kanye West say the same thing at last month's Coachella festival ? Er, I kinda think he did, so, I dunno, you might wanna check with a lawyer about maybe, plagiarism ?
God : Okay fuckface, if YOU don't kiss MY ass, I WILL kill YOU and blow up that silly-assed planet you currently live on !!!
Moses : Wellll, if you kill me a) you kill the messenger and then no one learns about your commandments and b) if you blow up the planet, then there's no one left to conceptualize you, much less mention your name. Therefore, technically, you wouldn't exist anymore, soooooo .... I'd be kinda careful throwing 'round such boldface threats, 'now'msayin'G ?
God : Oh, fuck you, Moses !
Moses : (to audience) see what I mean folks ? Just another celebrity asshole ...
Moses : er, yeahhhh, wellllll, that's great n' all Sky Pappy, but seems to me the Kardashians have pretty much been conveying the same message for over ten years now ... ummm, got anything else ?
God : Okay wise ass, try this on - thou shalt have NO other gods than me and thou WILT serve ONLY ME all the days of thine life !
Moses : Hmmm, impressive comeback, but come to think of it, didn't Kanye West say the same thing at last month's Coachella festival ? Er, I kinda think he did, so, I dunno, you might wanna check with a lawyer about maybe, plagiarism ?
God : Okay fuckface, if YOU don't kiss MY ass, I WILL kill YOU and blow up that silly-assed planet you currently live on !!!
Moses : Wellll, if you kill me a) you kill the messenger and then no one learns about your commandments and b) if you blow up the planet, then there's no one left to conceptualize you, much less mention your name. Therefore, technically, you wouldn't exist anymore, soooooo .... I'd be kinda careful throwing 'round such boldface threats, 'now'msayin'G ?
God : Oh, fuck you, Moses !
Moses : (to audience) see what I mean folks ? Just another celebrity asshole ...
by Virgin Suicides May 27, 2017
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Buy the mugby thisnickisnotused February 06, 2010
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Buy the mugA guy who talked to some Jewish guys, some Christian guys, and some Islam guys, and accidentaly caused more people to die than anyone else in human history.
by Squeed March 07, 2005
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Buy the mugSome say he doesn't exist, others say he is indifferent. Still others say he is the picture of love and he is all-powerful. Some claim to follow him but don't truly do it, some scoff at his followers, and a rare handful of people actually follow him.
by Karo-san August 21, 2009
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Buy the mugby dungeon master May 04, 2004
The Urban Dictionary Mug
One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.
Buy the mug