Jeremy Corbin MP, Prime Ministerial Parody

I haven’t quite achieved what had been my lifetime’s ambition - to utterly destroy @UKLabour as a social Democratic Party - but I’m getting close. Not much further now.

I have given way on a second referendum, which you will clearly understand from my recent statements if you are a gullible idiot.

When @paulmasonnews says that @UKLabour should ignore working-class voters who “hate blacks, hate women and hate gays” he forgets to add that we must back middle-class voters in Islington who realise Israel and the Rothschilds control the banks. #ForTheManyNotTheJew

It is vital to @UKLabour’s chances that we do not alienate those Leave voters in northern working-class constituencies who, at a general election, will resist the idea of a supporter of squaddie-murdering terrorists like me becoming PM with every fibre of their being.

Following the collapse of the @Uklabour vote in the #EuroElections2019 I promise that I will now reflect long and hard on the positions I have taken for thirty years before not changing them.

I apologise that this was so wordy, but in brief: ‘Nothing has changed. Nothing. Has. Changed’.https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1133038998102958082 …

My Bennite philosophy has been passionately directed toward democratising @UKLabour so that the membership ultimately drives its decisions: the dream being that at some future moment of critical and climactic political significance, I could tell them all to go shove it.

We’re getting short of people who can defend the indefensible so we’re going with spokesmen who aren’t even aware it’s indefensible. Thanks Clare #RipVanWinkle #Newsnighthttps://twitter.com/francesweetman/status/1133653092543750149 …

I will now exonerate myself completely of all ridiculous charges by CAA @antisemitism that there was anything dodgy about my two-year membership of the #PalestineLive secret Facebook group that could POSSIBLY bring the Labour Party into disrepute. So read this thread, you fools!

I have lost more elections than any other Labour Leader who has won a general election.

It bothers me that people are saying Theresa May has been the worst Prime Minister in history without giving me a go.