GayDemon's Gay Blog, blogging about gay life since 1999! Here you can find blog features, news, commentary and articles on gay related subjects.
I've been seeing a guy for five years. We get along well and the sex is awesome. But for most of our relationship he's been promising to break up with his husband of ten years so we can be together. But he never follows through and always has a good reason like his mother-in-law is very sick and it's not a good time. Am I being played?
-The Other Man
Let's all fracture the Time-Space Continuum. So go back in time and meet up with one of these guys and give him a stock tip that will change his life and cause a ripple effect on all of this.
Because a butterfly flapping its wings differently can change weather patterns so may as well fuck up other stuff while we're at it.
Then, who knows, maybe we'll end up in a world in which you can buy a penis alarm clock.
One of the secrets of being a voyeur is that you don't have to get a secret thrill just from actual exposed stuff that would normally be covered up according to prudish laws. Meaning, yeah public cock is for sure thrilling to see. Except when it's that of Mike Pence (who I've heard has a Ken Doll-like appearance underneath it all, allegedly).
But potentially more so are obscenely muscular and spread thighs. Or a big bulge in a singlet. I still feel like I'm seeing something obscene.
Obscene in a good way. Not obscene as in fuck over poor people. That's bad obscene. But committing a beautiful obscenity (as John Waters coins it) is to be applauded.
Up and down dick jackers. It's pretty much a workout so sometimes they take breaks and spread their legs wide and kick back. But we all know the guy's hand is going to wrap itself around his dick again.
And we'll be there to watch when it happens.
The other day my boyfriend was snooping on my phone and he found a Grindr profile I had recently created. My profile says that I'm partnered, monogamous, and just looking for friends. My boyfriend is pissed. What's the big deal?
-Not a Cheater
Imagine the pick up lines you'd try on each of these guys. Now don't assume because they're naked sluts (a term of endearment) that they're easy. It would still take a smooth talker to get each one in a compromising position when he's off the clock.
For the guy on his back on the mattress, perhaps a simple: "Hey, if I buy you sheets, will you go out to the movies with me then go back to your place to destroy your new sheets with sex?"
I think this guy has earned his degree in Public Nudity. And like some of the other guys pictured, he can parlay it into hanging out naked while pumping gas or outside a gay bar. Because it's important to put one's education into action.
Unlike a useless degree like Computer Engineering or Linguistics, Public Nudity is something made for this world, with endless applications, such as:
Big dicks wagging right in your face. At least when they're not hidden by a towel or jockstrap or fist. Though a dick hidden by a fist is pretty much the guy jacking off so that qualifies as jacking off in your face.
You do want a guy stroking his cock in front of you, right? I mean if you had to pick between that and a David Hasselhoff Super Bowl Halftime Show known as the David Hasselhalftime Show, you'd pick the dick right?
I regularly go to a sex club in Toronto called Urge. There's a dark room and lots of booths and glory holes where a guy can really get his fill of dick. The other night I was blowing this guy and really enjoying his fat dick when he suddenly said, "You love that cock, don't you faggot?" I didn't really know what to do or say, so I just kept on sucking, but excused myself a minute later. Should I have said something about the F-bomb? Should I have called him a butt hugger or wanker? Am I being too sensitive?
-Lost the Urge
Now you know what kind of carpet to get if you're hosting a fiveway. And what carpet you'll throw away immediately after because you'll never get the stains out.
So if you're being frugal about it, have your fiveway at a carpet store. Those folks have seen it all. Or at least some of it all.