Anyone know the number to 911?

Check. This. Out.

LIFE. Full trailer. Opens March 24th!!!!

LIFE - Super Bowl spot!

Thank you Harvard University and the #hastypudding gang for roasting me so hard, I've filed for a divorce from myself. And a big shoutout to the cast and crew of Casino Evil for bringing down the house. Whoomp. There it is.

SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE is coming to Broadway next month! One of the best shows I've seen on stage. Jake Gyllenhaal and Annaleigh Ashford make the world feel pretty damn great again.

http://www.thehudsonbroadway.com/…/sunday-in-the-park-with…/

#BondVerinePool.

Spent the afternoon with a master watch-builder at Piaget. He showed me how they build the world's greatest timepiece. While I can't even build a decent bowl of cereal. #SIHH.

Having the best conversation. #goldenglobes

The Contenders Screening of Deadpool for MoMA The Museum of Modern Art was a damn good time. Thanks for the Q&A. Pretty sure we filled the swear jar within the first two minutes.

Thank you to the @hollywoodchamberofcommerce and @20thcenturyfox. This is one of those "pinch me" moments. But not in the creepy way my Aunt used to do it.

‪Thank you, Golden Globes! As we speak, the entire Deadpool team is engaged in a grotesque, early morning tickle-fight.‬