Category Archives: The Cringe

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Rough Wooing

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In December 1543, Henry VII of England declared war on the kingdom of Scotland, ostensibly because King James refused to break with Roman Catholicism as Henry did. In actuality, it was the just latest in a series of attempts by would-be Kings of All Britain to annex or outright destroy the other nations of the isles.

William Ferguson was uncompromising in his appraisal of the war:

Henry VII went berserk and resolved to read the Scots a bitter lesson, one that seemed all the more necessary as England once more stood on the brink of war with France. On 10th April 1544 the Earl of Hertford was accordingly instructed to ravage Scotland where he was to “put all to fire and sword, burn Edinburgh town, so rased and defaced when you have sacked and gotten what you can of it, as there may remain forever a perpetual memory of the vengeance of God lightened upon them for their falsehood and disloyalty. Hertford doubted the wisdom of such orders, but his mild protests were brushed aside; and though Henry VIII’s last campaigns against Scotland are usually jocularly dismissed with the Protector Somerset’s under the nuckname of ‘the Rough Wooing’, they were in fact the most savage and devastating of the numerous English invasions of Scotland. In the course of them many of the leading towns of Scotland were sacked and burned, and so were the chief border abbeys and many churches. English policy was simply to pulverise Scotland, to beat her either into acquiescence or out of existence, and Hertford’s campaigns resemble nothing so much as Nazi total warfare – ‘blitzkrieg’, reign of terror, extermination of all resisters, the encouragement of collaborators, and so on.
– Scotland’s Relations with England: A Survey to 1707

The conflict was initially called the Eight (or Nine) Years’ War, but Henry’s proposal that his son Edward should marry the infant Mary led to its popular modern name – the “rough wooing.” Because of this particularly horrid period in Anglo-Scottish relations, I have an instinctive aversion to the very term “wooing.” I can’t hear or read it without wincing, because for me, it is not a term that evokes love or romance, but political machinations and bloody conquest.

But that’s just me. I realise not everyone reads or hears the word “wooing” and immediately thinks back to the Anglo-Scottish Wars, the weirdos.

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Impireachd nan Gàidheal

Wee Ginger Dug delighted me a couple of days ago with this beautiful Gaelic map of Inverclyde, part of a series of maps of Scotland he plans to produce:

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Yet because Mr Kavanagh is a Scottish Nationalist who just happens to be one of the most prominent advocates for our national languages, he was the subject of much criticism by the usual suspects within hours:

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I can only assume Mr Gallagher is equally outraged by all the Spanish, French, and German maps of the UK which dare to “rebrand” Britain as linguistically Spanish/French/German…

They’ve insisted that Gaelic was never spoken in places which have Gaelic names. But no one in Edinburgh / Fife / Dumfries ever spoke Gaelic, they say, oblivious to the fact that all of those places contain significant numbers of Gaelic place names which prove that Gaelic was indeed once spoken there. In Scotland Unionist ignorance of Scottish linguistic history is touted as good sense and erudition. The truth is that Fife was at one time solidly Gaelic speaking, that Gaelic was still spoken in Dumfries and Galloway until the 18th century, and that there are plenty of Gaelic placenames in Midlothian created by Gaelic speakers who once lived in Edinburgh.

It’s a similar case in Inverclyde – one of those weird places, with a significant history of Highland & Irish diaspora, and absolutely saturated with Gaelic place names… where “nobody actually spoke Gaelic.” One wonders where they think the name Inverclyde comes from.

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The Why of No

The next big step on the road to independence is underway: a national survey with the aim to reach as many Scottish voters as possible with their views on Scotland, independence, the European Union, and several other issues. Before the independence referendum, we were asking how they might vote: this time, we’re asking them why they voted the way they did.

It’s a crucial difference, and I’ll wager this is a primary reason it’s received such vigorous, diversionary opposition from avowed British Nationalists like Adam Tomkins:

Proof that intelligent people can also be incredibly stupid.

… That’s 3 words, Mr Tomkins. But then, Scots also said No to your party running either Parliaments, yet here you are.

… Mr Tomkins, we’re asking people why they voted No. It’s not a question with a binary Yes or No response.

Activist: (to voter) Why did you vote No?
Mr. Tomkins: We said No.
Activist: Actually, Mr Tomkins, I was talking to this voter, not you.
Mr. Tomkins: Yes, and we said No.
Activist: (turns to voter again) So, why did you vote No?
Mr. Tomkins: Didn’t you hear me, we said No!
Activist: (ignores Tomkins) I would just like to know what were your reasons for voting No?
Mr. Tomkins: WHY WON’T STURGEON LISTEN! WE SAID NO! NO MEANS NO! WE ARE THE PEOPLE!

Here is the Scottish Government actively engaging with No voters. They’re looking to ask them directly what they think. They want to know the reasons they voted the way they did, their fears, their hopes, their concerns, their ideas… And the response from one of Scotland’s MSPs is to butt in, answering for the voters. For someone so determined that the People of Scotland be listened to, why be so dismissive of this dialogue? Surely one would want the people of Scotland to say, en masse, exactly what they think of Alex Salmond’s Nicola Sturgeon’s separatist dream, embarrass and humiliate and mortify her, so there can be no doubt whatsoever that the cause of separation is dead in the water? If the case against independence is so unassailable, then why not prove it – better still, let the people prove it, once and for all?

Perhaps it doesn’t matter to him and his party. As long as they put the cross in the right box, the reasons didn’t matter: the result was the same, whether voters were British Nationalists like himself, or people aching for a Federal UK run by Keir Hardie’s successors. No means No – and his party gets to decide what No means, regardless of what No voters might actually have wanted. Even if the majority of No voters voted explicitly for the former Prime Minister’s Home Rule promises, that doesn’t matter – Westminster decides what No means. Anything beyond that’s a waste of time. Get on with the day job, Nats.

Or is there more to it than that?

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No True Proud Scotsman

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“You know that’s three English blokes at a wedding?”

Why is it “No True Scotsman”?

The term is generally used as a description of a particular type of argumentative fallacy: namely, an ad hoc justification for an unreasoned and/or unjustified assertion or generalisation. Yet why “No True Scotsman,” rather than – say – “No True Englishman,” or “No True American”?

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History

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The Scottish Parliament passed a motion instructing the Scottish Government to begin negotiating with the European Union. The  motion was carried 92-0.

“Oh, but you’ll never get in! Belgium & Spain will use their veto! You’ll be put to the back of the queue! You can’t inherit the UK’s special place! Stay in the UK, you’ll get a better deal!”

Watch this.

Then watch this.

Sometimes, you find yourself realising that you are witnessing an incredible moment. You almost step outside yourself, a spectator on reality, where you realise that you are witnessing history. Sometimes, it feels like you’re watching theatre or film: you can practically hear the swelling orchestra, the singing strings, the pealing horns, the beating drums. Tell me you didn’t hear the orchestral score of history itself. This is history.

Now let’s see the BBC version.

As another BBC presenter said… “Don’t know what to say to that, actually.“

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All Unions Are Not Equal

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Philip K. Dick’s The Man in the High Castle was recently adapted into a 10-part miniseries. This pillar of alternate universe science fiction posited a branch of time which diverged from ours with the assassination of Franklin Roosevelt: the Axis won the Second World War, conquered the Commonwealth and USSR, and occupied the Americas.

A common refrain from many in the Leave camp is “why do the SNP want independence from the UK, only to hand it over to Brussels?” Such a baffling false equivalence between the constitutional monarchy of the UK and the supranational union of the EU can only be the result of one thing – a parallel universe, where the EU truly is to the UK what the UK is to Scotland.

In this bizarre world, the European Union is a unitary state in the United Nations. It is composed of four nations: Britain, Ireland, Denmark, and the vast Western Europe, many times larger than the other three put together. The capital city of Europe is Brussels, in Western Europe, which is also the location of the parliament. In recent years, Britain has reconvened parliament following a historic referendum: they have responsibility over health, education, local government, law and order, social work, housing, economic development, transport, environment, agriculture, forestry, fishing, sport and culture, with 63% of total public spending from the EU devolved to the British Parliament. However, Brussels still has control over the European Constitution, civil service, defence, national security, foreign policy, immigration, fiscal and monetary policy, oil revenues, trade & industry, income tax, corporation tax, VAT, employment, social security, nuclear energy, and broadcasting.

I watched a current affairs programme from this strange alternate universe….

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Serious Business

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From Stuart’s site:

Cabinet Secretary Visits Inverclyde Business with Local Candidate

Cabinet Secretary for Social Justice, Communities and Pensioner Rights Alex Neil joined SNP candidate for Greenock and Inverclyde Stuart McMillan today to visit Blair’s Windows in Greenock – and both highlighted the positive impact that the Inverclyde firm’s products could have on making homes more secure and cost efficient.

The local  firm has developed a range of product designs of windows and doors safe, long-lasting and far more energy efficient.

SNP Candidate for Greenock and Inverclyde Stuart McMillan commented:

“I was pleased to visit Blair’s with Alex Neil to get a tour of the plant and to have a discussion about their products.

“Blair’s is an important local business in Inverclyde whose products could play a crucial role in the development of the SNP’s plans to build more affordable, safe, quality housing in Scotland.

“Blair’s Windows has a long standing, excellent reputation for the manufacture of timber windows and doors at their plant in Greenock and are members of the Glass and Glazing Federation. Currently, the Greenock plant is involved in developing modern, energy efficient structural windows and doors that are essential in modern homes and commercial buildings.

“The SNP in government has a strong track record on housing – having exceeded our own target to build 30,000 new, affordable homes over the last Parliament and re-started the construction of council housing, with 5000 new council houses.

“A re-elected SNP government will go even further. We have set an ambitious target of delivering at least 50,000 new affordable homes over the course of the next Parliament. Our plans will create 14,000 jobs per annum and deliver a £9bn boost to the economy.

Cabinet Secretary Alex Neil further commented:

“I was delighted to campaign with Stuart today. He’s a strong advocate for Inverclyde and will build on his previous hard work and make a first class constituency MSP.

“The SNP in Government has invested unprecedented amounts of money to eradicating fuel poverty – significantly more than any previous Government in Scotland.

“Since 2009, over half a billion pounds has been allocated to make Scotland’s homes more energy efficient, and over 700,000 of the most vulnerable households in our society have received assistance to help them heat their homes affordably.

“The SNP in Government has also maintained the expenditure available in the budgets that it has under its control, has made available more than £103 million to tackle fuel poverty and energy efficiency in 2016-17.

I’m sure we’ve all seen the response to the supposedly TOP SECRET BACKDOOR DEAL between Chinese investment group SinoFortone, China Railway No. 3 Engineering Group, and the First Minister, which was so secret that it was, erm, promoted by the companies and published in Chinese newspapers, complete with a photo shoot.

TOPSECRET

YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS APPARENTLY.

It really says something when the possibility of £10 billion of investment into Scottish infrastructure is met with such open, relentless, baffling hostility by people who are supposed to be looking out for Scotland’s best interests. I can only presume that if any other party was the government, they would reject such a boon for Scotland, given they have a horrendous history with PFI debt, did nothing of consequence about the UK government’s attempted highway robbery of £7 billion from Scotland’s budget, and even sent £1.5 billion back to the UK treasury when they found they had a surplus.

Perhaps this is why hundreds of thousands of No voters are still voting SNP despite their reluctance to support independence – because they know the SNP will do everything in their power to ensure Scotland flourishes, in Union or out.

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