Lucky Esther. Chapter 2 of the Megillah

Lucky Hadassah,

She won a beauty contest!

Which is nice

Every girl 

Should own at least one tiara. 

The food is good at the palace

And there’s probably other perks.  

But she has to sleep 

(That’s putting it nicely)

With that grotesque,

That drunk, that autocrat,

That screamer, that narcissist,

That wastrel, that misogynist,

That idiot who will say yes to

Whoever  

Is the last person he talked to:

Kill the Jews

Don’t kill the Jews 

Whatever. 

That’s jumping ahead in our story, 

We’re still in Chapter 2,

The one where Hadassah is

Kidnapped  

Trafficked

Objectified

Groomed

Raped. 

The one in which she

Loses her true name

And is used by Cousin Mordecai

To make his.

Lucky Esther,

She won a beauty contest. 

My Drink Of Choice

Over the last two years

I have discovered bourbon,

The good stuff. 

With, when I can afford them, 

Luxardo cherries.  

In  ginger ale.  

It’s my drink of choice

When cringing  in fear and horror

At the fanatics 

And their irrational hatred of 

Ineffective little me 

Because I am a Jew. 

It’s my drink of choice

When contemplating in surprise 

What I mean to them:

Either disdainful rich elite

Or feral rat-like destroyers. 

I am neither. 

It’s my drink of choice

When shouting in shul

At the name of Haman,

For all the good that does. 

Schadenfreude comforts 

But is not a long term solution. 

It is not my drink of choice

When I have no choice 

But to see truth

And then speak truth 

And for that I find

I must be sober.  Alas. 

Chapter 5: Zeresh, the Karen of Shushan

 Zeresh, Haman’s wife,

Egging on her vile spouse,

Screaming, Kill the Jews!

The Shushan equivalent of Karen,

Screaming, Black men!

Dialing 911

About the bird watcher

Or the candy buyer

Or the driver

Or the walker

Or the swimmer

Or the runner

Or the sleeper

Or the voter.

 

Hag Purim Sameakh

The 9th Chapter: We Won And They Lost

 

And so, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, when the king’s command and decree were to be executed, the very day on which the enemies of the Jews had expected to get them in their power, the opposite happened, and the Jews got their enemies in their power.*

 

So what happens when we win?

Not by much

And in the nick of time.

It so easily could have gone the other way.

And though there’s lots of us

There’s plenty of them

And they are cruel

But then so are we.

What to do?

 

For Mordecai was now powerful in the royal palace, and his fame was spreading through all the provinces; the man Mordecai was growing ever more powerful.

So the Jews struck at their enemies with the sword, slaying and destroying; they wreaked their will upon their enemies.

 

Do we forgive and forget?

Do we try to change hearts and minds?

Or do we strike at our enemies with the sword?

Do we slay and destroy

Just like they were going to slay and destroy us?

Even those who had nothing to do with it?

Are they permanently them?

Are we forever only us?

 

The king said to Queen Esther, “In the fortress Shushan alone the Jews have killed a total of five hundred men, as well as the ten sons of Haman. What then must they have done in the provinces of the realm! What is your wish now? It shall be granted you. And what else is your request? It shall be fulfilled.”

“If it please Your Majesty,” Esther replied, “let the Jews in Shushan be permitted to act tomorrow also as they did today; and let Haman’s ten sons be impaled on the stake.”

 

Shall we be cruel?

Shall we impale their children on the stake

And then forget them?

It’s strangely tempting.

The same days on which the Jews enjoyed relief from their foes and the same month which had been transformed for them from one of grief and mourning to one of festive joy. They were to observe them as days of feasting and merrymaking, and as an occasion for sending gifts to one another.

 

Weren’t they stupid?

Aren’t our comedians clever?

So do we laugh in the face of their grief

And celebrate their deaths and their disgraces?

But what is the line

Between satire and derision?

Between defense and revenge?

How do we resist answering hate for hate, violence for violence?

Do we try to reconcile?

Should we try to be nice on principle?

What if they’re not interested in us being nice, ever?

Can’t it be enough to laugh at them,

Do we have to also slay and destroy them?

Can’t we maybe talk instead?

Blessed One-ness

What are our obligations here?

We won and they lost and we are glad.

But perhaps we need help

To remember their humanity

While we party.

Hag Purim Sameakh

Amen.

*JPS translation

Everyone Who Hears Will Laugh With Me

וַתֹּ֣אמֶר שָׂרָ֔ה צְחֹ֕ק עָ֥שָׂה לִ֖י אֱלֹהִ֑ים כָּל־הַשֹּׁמֵ֖עַ יִֽצְחַק־לִֽי׃

Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter; everyone who hears will laugh with me.”

May God bring you laughter 

This funny month of Adar. Because,

Having invented banana peels,

Ladders topped with teetering buckets of water,

Also dictators and children
And plagues and prophets
And villains hoisted on their own petards,

God appears to love a good pratfall.

And then there's that 

Magic comedy number three: 

Abraham, Isaac and Jacob,

Those cut ups!

Sarah wanted an audience,

She loved a good spiel

Until her husband tried to kill their son, then

She stopped giggling. 

Did God also invent antisemites? Racists?

What about autocrats? Fascists?

Why is Purim funny?

C’mon, laugh with me. 

Latkes vs. Hamentaschen: A Purim Poem

Fried Potatoes and Onions 

Or

Dry Pastry and Prunes?


Mic Drop

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Purim Megillah, Chapter 5

Now it came to pass on the third day

Esther got all dolled up

Dressed like a queen

All for the king.

And she waited in the courtyard

To attact the king's attention

Knowing she is beautiful

Because everyone tells her so.

They tell her that's where her power lies

But she knows better.

Because Esther is used to being looked at

She knows what it's worth

That is, she knows about the people who only look

But cannot see.

But she looks at them, too.

And she can see.

They can look and look and never see the truth

The power that she has

That she has to have

When you have no power.

So she waits in the courtyard

Because if the king lets her touch his golden scepter

(Insert double entendre here),

She lives.

But if he is offended

That she came to him without permission

She dies.

But here she is

She has to be

Because Esther sees what the king is doing.

Now it came to pass

That Esther is beautiful

And so she found favor in the king's eyes

So she invites him to a party

And Haman, too.

Especially Haman,

Only Haman.

And Haman gets all puffed up

Full of his glory

He can only see himself

The Great Man

Going to the queens banquet

And he walks past Mordechai

At the King's Gate

And Mordechai looks at Haman

And thinks to himself,

Feh

What an asshole

So Mordechai refuses to stand up

Because Mordechai sees what Haman is doing.

And it came to pass

That this really freaks out Haman

Haman sees himself through Mordechai's eyes

And everything crumbles

Classic narcissism

On one hand

Oh the glory and the money

Haman the Big Man

The king's right hand

Invited to the Queen's banquet

And on the other hand

Mordechai, that Jew, said,

Feh.

It kills Haman inside

Getting dissed by Mordechai

And he goes home to complain to Zeresh, his wife.

How, Haman asks,

Can I have a good time knowing Mordechai doesn't respect me?

So Zeresh the loyal wife says,

Look, Haman, love of my life,

don't let the Jew ruin your fun,

The solution is simple!

Build a gallows

50 Cubits high

And in the morning

Tell the king to hang Mordechai from it

Until he's dead.

Then party with a happy heart!

So Haman builds the gallows

Oy, he's in such a good mood

But as we all know

God sees what Haman is doing.