Pinned toot
hanny boosted

you don't have to see your family for the holidays, y'know. those subpoenas they send you aren't even signed by a real circuit court judge or anything, your aunt just made them because she's into crafts.

money, crowdfunding 

money, crowdfunding 

money, crowdfunding 

brushing my teeth with salicylic acid

hanny boosted
hanny boosted

hog bodies. ancient beings discovered in the specially bejewelled trough we got installed

this morning i am listening to royal trux and doing the ironing. what's up.

hanny boosted

rebranding as a woman who only eats gruel for catfishing reasons

oh boy i really wish i had a special man to eat gruel with

hanny boosted

eat your grits
eat your gravy
hanny eat your gruel

hanny boosted

imagine if you went to take a shit but just a whole unlit cigarette came out instead

rebranding as a woman who only eats gruel for catfishing reasons

dont talk to me until I've had my gruel

im going to bleach everything and am happy to bone every night. thanks.

i know we all like to joke but i would actually make a bangin dead behind the eyes 60s housewife and that's all that matters

pronouncing drugs like dogs with an r

i am sincerely a good girl and you all need to know it

hanny boosted

on my deathbed I bestow the family sword onto my weakest twink son in the hopes that he brings honor to our name. honestly I would have rather given it to my cool strong son but he ran away with some maiden so this little shit is my only chance

Show more
this godforsaken website

godforsaken.website is a uk-based mastodon instance boasting literally thousands of posts about bumholes and UNESCO world heritage sites