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I
feel like I'm breaking inside
and the truth is I don't know why
and the truth is I don't know why
confessions from a mad girl's diary.
I.
Love is not enough. I still want to tear my skin from the outside in.
II.
I have let my bones get picked apart like carrion. I did it. I bit my nails down to the quick.
III.
Fear is not my mother tongue. I do not speak it. It speaks me.
IV.
This is what I had to tell myself today: I exist. I exist. I am here. This world is not imaginary. Neither am I.
V.
I am not gentle. I am not kind.
Love is not enough. I still want to tear my skin from the outside in.
II.
I have let my bones get picked apart like carrion. I did it. I bit my nails down to the quick.
III.
Fear is not my mother tongue. I do not speak it. It speaks me.
IV.
This is what I had to tell myself today: I exist. I exist. I am here. This world is not imaginary. Neither am I.
V.
I am not gentle. I am not kind.
— Venetta Octavia, What We Left Behind.
Anybody can Earn and Die, leaving a will and legacy. Only the
courageous ones can give away all they have while they are Alive.
YOU HURT. IT'S OKAY.
i hurt too. hold my hand.
Sometimes you wake up under the weight of every bad
thing you've
eveR Done.
the thing about having anxiety and depression is you begin to doubt yourself even when you practice self-care. you cut people out of your life – toxic relationships, bad friendships, abusive parents – because you don’t want their presence to trigger or contribute even more to your depressive thoughts, but then your social paranoia kicks in and you question your actions. “what if i was the one who was wrong?” “what if i overreacted?” “what if they’re talking behind my back?” “what if they’re angry?” “what if they’re hurt?” “what if i’m the one who is a s.hitty person?” “what if nobody likes me anymore?” and basically you feel even s.hittier and worse than before you fought for your principles and stood up against someone you thought was treating you bad.
—
Sade Andria Zabala
1. With friends you don’t love.
There’s a big difference between “love” and
“know”.
2. With books you can’t give your heart to.
3. With bands that don’t write for you. (But beware of bands that sing about “us”. Their us is their us. I have my own us and so do you. See: “Universality and co-opted micro-culture/community as marketing strategy”.)
4. With people who are playing you for status or scene cred. Note: don’t schmooze. Ever. Be good to the good of heart. F*ck the rest. You don’t need them. Your life is busy as it is. Don’t waste your time with creepy fame-vampires.
5. With the bandwagon jumpers.
6. With anyone who doesn’t make up their own mind about a cause.
7. With anything that doesn’t make you better in its presence.
2. With books you can’t give your heart to.
3. With bands that don’t write for you. (But beware of bands that sing about “us”. Their us is their us. I have my own us and so do you. See: “Universality and co-opted micro-culture/community as marketing strategy”.)
4. With people who are playing you for status or scene cred. Note: don’t schmooze. Ever. Be good to the good of heart. F*ck the rest. You don’t need them. Your life is busy as it is. Don’t waste your time with creepy fame-vampires.
5. With the bandwagon jumpers.
6. With anyone who doesn’t make up their own mind about a cause.
7. With anything that doesn’t make you better in its presence.
DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME
Alchohol doesn't make you fat...it make you Lean...on tables, chairs & random people!!!...
-Ashely purdy
Tears are words the heart
can't express
-M.C.R
-M.C.R
