Prior-Art-O-Matic

It's a shovel that emits a constant high-frequency whine! It works underwater.

It's a tricycle that checks your spelling.

It's like a normal bracelet, but it emits harmful gases.

It's a retinal implant that is made of solid gold, comes with a variety of coloured fascias and keeps children amused.

It's a desk fan! It removes stubborn stains.

It's a kettle! It runs on compressed air!

It's a cricket bat that makes amusing belching noises and can only be operated by a trained professional.

It's a strain of bacteria! It makes amusing belching noises!

It's a shoe-shiner that reflects light, streams movies and gets +2 to kill undead.

It's a cricket bat that connects to the cloud, can light cigarettes and cures all known illnesses.

It's a sock that can light cigarettes and stays sharp forever.

It's an aquarium that displays pornography!

It's like a normal suppository, but it is used by the US military.

It's a bedside table that squeaks! It can interface with your bubble-car.

It's a credit card that is better than the last one!

It's like a normal barcode reader, but it counts your calories.

It's a blow-up doll! It sticks to the skin.

It's a jetpack! It is water-absorbent!

It's a computer monitor that tells you when people are lying! It holds up to twenty cigarettes and kills weeds down to the root.

It's a breathalyser! It receives data from any nearby shoe-shiner!