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ShittyLifeProTips

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12.7k

Posted by

u/mehoyminoy_thot

LPT: The key to passing any drug test even if you smoke!!

12.7k

22.4k

Posted by

SLPT : be this man

22.4k

329

Posted by

LPT: If you want to vape in class or the office, tell your peers you work a night shift at the local spooky cemetery. They’ll just assume the vape is leftover spooky fog

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290

Posted by

LPT: If you keep burning your nipples on hot coffee, let your coffee cool for a few minutes before putting your nipples in it.

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98

Crossposted by

SLPT: How to smoke at school

Posted by

Best Memer 2016 Award1 year ago

THE USA 💯✔️😂👌

8.7k points

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30

Posted by

SLPT Stay Lazy Friends..

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45

Posted by

u/Mr_Mediocracy

LPT : If a cop is on the verge of giving you a ticket, just remind them you pay their salary, they will remember you are the boss and let you off scot-free

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82

Posted by

Slpt

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22

Posted by

u/HelloNewToReddit

LPT: If you want to get more karma (part 1/2)

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21

Posted by

u/HelloNewToReddit

LPT: Divide your post into two parts (part 2/2)

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226

Posted by

SLPT

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12

Posted by

LPT: If you take all your sleeping pills at once they last longer than taking them individually.

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33

Posted by

SLPT: if some mugger or someone starts choking you say "harder daddy" they'll probably stop.

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8

Posted by

u/TheNefariousDrRatten

SLPT: Got a patient in a stable but critical condition? Just rub this all over them.

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24

Posted by

u/linuxguruintraining

SLPT: If you're having trouble keeping your balance on a boat, get drunk. The swaying from the ocean and the swaying from the alcohol will cancel each other out.

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Posted by

LPT:Remember men, if you have an affair with a woman, enter that person's contact info under a man's name. So, if your wife sees the texts between you and that person, she will think you have become gay. When she learns the truth she will be relieved and forgive you.

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Posted by

LPT: Want to browse reddit without ads? turn on airplane mode so the ads can't be download.

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Posted by

SLPT: how to break a long distance relationship

imgur.com/Y7kZlj...

SLPT: how to break a long distance relationship

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5

Posted by

SLPT: If you're ever in a fight and your opponent says, "You want a piece of me?" Reply with, "I'm vegan." They'll understand and leave you alone.

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9

Posted by

LPT: Thirsty and short on time? Just pour your drink into belly button to get to your stomach faster.

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15

Posted by

SLPT: Want to beat the best time for an escape room? Just fake an allergic reaction and you’re out as fast as possible.

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4

Posted by

u/Red_Brick_Builder

SLPT: If you hate your job, make a habit of dropping the N word and commenting on people’s looks. You should be shown the door quickly.

4

60

Posted by

SLPT: If you press your temple and your taint at the same time, you can screenshot your soul.

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4

Posted by

u/Orange_knight_

LPT: Hair not drying fast enough? Just pour boiling water on it to bring it to 100 degrees and evaporate everything

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6

Posted by

LPT. You can drive as fast as you want in in heavy rain, fog or snow and not worry about being caught. Police laser and radar doesn't work when there's a lot of moisture in the air.

6

Community Details

r/ShittyLifeProTips

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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post. If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods with a link to your post and we'll get it fixed up for you!

r/ShittyLifeProTips Rules

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Be nice to each other.

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Post shitty LPT only.

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No "Kill Yourself" SLPT are allowed

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