Alana Massey

@AlanaMassey

Trust me, I went to Divinity School. My book ALL THE LIVES I WANT is out in Feb 2017. Send champagne, cats, and money.

New York
ನವೆಂಬರ್ 2011 ಸಮಯದಲ್ಲಿ ಸೇರಿದ್ದಾರೆ

@AlanaMassey ತಡೆಹಿಡಿಯಲಾಗಿದೆ

ನೀವು ಖಚಿತವಾಗಿಯೂ ಈ ಟ್ವೀಟ್‌ಗಳನ್ನು ನೋಡಲು ಬಯಸುವಿರಾ? ಟ್ವೀಟ್‌ಗಳನ್ನು ನೋಡುವುದು @AlanaMassey ಅವರನ್ನು ತಡೆತೆರವುಗೊಳಿಸುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.

  1. ಪಿನ್ ಮಾಡಿದ ಟ್ವೀಟ್

    My book has a bee-yoo-tee-ful sparkling cover! And you can pre-order it too:

  2. Fuck my parents dog for being so much cuter than me

  3. My flight got into Portland and my dad pulled up with a full Santa beard and blasting "Legs" by ZZ Top.

  4. It is nice to be on lists besides the worst tweets lists at the end of the year!

  5. My parents are bad at staying up late and my flight gets in at midnight and I think I'm gonna get reverse Kevin McAllistered

  6. JK, eat my shorts.

  7. for all the tizzy over "happy holidays" tbh i think we should all unite against the extremely bullshit "season's greetings"

  8. There is something very in the spirit of Christmas to learn that Rand Paul also has a folder on his desktop full of wise-crackin gifs.

  9. I realized too late that this is made with natural shit instead of chemical slime God intended for airport candy Christmas is ruined

  10. There was a weird sound in the terminal but fret not, this JetBlue VIP is ON THE CASE

  11. Best delivered line in cinema history. Lol, "delivered."

  12. in 2017 i wanna be as cute and cold-blooded as her 😍

  13. Bf set me up a lil work desk at his house but I like to imagine this is how Birthers imagined the White House lobby

  14. Alana Massey ಹಿಂಬಾಲಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ , ಮತ್ತು
    • @lizabeth_kiefer

      features + BOOKS | views are my very own

    • @missanabeem

      Reporter (women, politics, migrations, other wonders). Editor . 50% writing, 50% resetting passwords. Likely up for a good cry. ✍ [email protected]

  15. I'm in the JetBlue Terminal. Whom here?

  16. I wrote about physical and social plagues, and how their strong memories make them impossible to destroy

  17. I got my boyfriend this homemade agatized coral knife for Christmas but I want to steal it back and give him a fiddle instead

  18. normal ppl: i married my highschool sweetheart! me: what if i hooked up with someone who went to my high school. how perverse would that be

ಲೋಡಿಂಗ್ ಸಮಯ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ತೆಗೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿರುವಂತೆನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ.

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