This is a place for stepparents to rant and rave (in good humor) about the trials and tribulations of being a stepparent. Also a place to post when your stepchild does something that makes you so proud you are about to burst. Just remember, whether you're laughing or crying, we're all family.
Stepkids welcome, but remember that not all stepparents are the same. We'll be happy to answer questions, but we won't take the blame if your stepparent was not awesome.
Non-stepparents are welcome to post if doing so in the spirit of openness and understanding. Please read our Wiki before commenting or posting! We are a stepparent support sub and as such see things from the lens of our experience. Diminishing our experience with negativity will not be tolerated.
Community Updates
We are aware of a small group of users harassing our subscriber base, as ridiculous as that may sound. If you are being harassed by a user via private message, please send a message to /r/reddit.com with the permalink to the message and include the user's name. Please do not engage in an exchange of insults, as this only tends to encourage more harassment.
For more of a chatroom experience, join our Slack chat! Read the Slack wiki for more info.
Be sure to read the rules and Wiki as changes are made periodically to reflect the growth of the community.
Community Rules
Kindness Matters
- Our subreddit is here because it's one of the ONLY places stepparents can turn to for advice from people who understand what being a stepparent is like. Please post with empathy and constructive commentary rather than judgment.
- Posters may be at the end of their rope and express strong emotions. Focus on offering the assistance they're asking for, not on judging or criticizing.
- Name-calling will not be tolerated.
- Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
- No suggesting of physical violence toward stepkids, including spanking, smacking, walloping upside the head, etc. as a solution to any problem
Read the FAQ Before Posting
- If you're new to r/stepparents, check this FAQ before posting. You may find a great answer to your question and further insights on suggested posts. Posts from new users will be reviewed by the moderator team, and if it's obvious that you haven't read the FAQ, your post will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
Follow Reddiquette
- Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
- If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the moderators to direct their attention to the issue.
Do Not Create Inside Drama
- Bickering or nitpicking to the point of thread derailment will not be tolerated. Posts of this nature are subject to removal.
- Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
- Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
- Tagging users in an attempt to bully or harass will not be tolerated.
Do Not Create Outside Drama
- Harassing or discrediting a poster based on their activity in this sub or on other subreddits is not allowed.
- Do not post content from /r/stepparents on other subs with the intent of harassment or brigading.
- If there is a valid reason to link to the sub (e.g.: you've found a stepparent in the wild who needs help and want to direct them to a specific thread) be sure to use a 'No Participation' link by replacing 'www' with 'np'.
No Pornography
- This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
No Spam
- Advertising on the subreddit is not allowed.
- No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
- For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.
Know Your Rules
- Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
- Read the wiki rules before contributing.
Moderator Actions
- Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
- If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
- User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved. In other words, don't message the mod team asking why someone was banned; that's between the mod team and the banned user.
- Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This A) ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and B) prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand. Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal.
- The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.
Ban Procedure
- Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
- 1st offense will result in a warning and removal of the comment in question.
- 2nd offense will result in a 1-day ban.
- 3rd offense will result in a 3-day ban.
- Any future offense will result in a permanent ban.
- Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
- We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.
Important Wiki Pages
Search By Flair
Announcements
Brag
Discussion
Drama
Help
JustBMThings
Legal
Rant
Resource
Today's Tiny Problem
Update
Win!
Related Subreddits
Common Acronyms
Uh, a couple of these are used twice. This is less confusing than you might think because context.
- BD = Bio Dad
- BD = Bio Daughter (also DD)
- BF = Boyfriend
- BM = Bio Mom
- BP = Bio Parent
- BS = Bio Son (also DS)
- CO = Custody Order
- DD = Dear/direct (biological) daughter
- DH = Dear Husband
- DS = Dear/direct (biological) son
- DW = Dear Wife
- EOW = Every Other Weekend (in reference to custody schedules)
- GF = Girlfriend
- HC = High Conflict (used mainly to describe difficult to work with bioparents)
- MIL/FIL/SIL/BIL = The In-Laws
- OH = Other Half (see also SO)
- SD = Step Dad
- SD = Step Daughter
- SF = Step Father
- SK = Stepkid(s)
- SM = Step Mom
- SO = Significant Other (see also OH)
- SS = Step Son
- TTC = Trying to Conceive
