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108
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108
2.0k comments
42
Stickied postModerator of r/DnD

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42
9 comments
1.6k

"Axiom: a self-evident truth that requires no proof" Throughout the game my paladin became more and more unbalanced with the choices he had to face being "Lawful Good". The last straw was when corrupt king was putting someone who didn't deserve to die and he impaled the executioner, and then proceeded to approach the king, claiming that with his death a new and more just king may rise up. When the implication of the law was brought up, he exclaimed, "I AM THE LAW!". From now on, the DM has said I am to have my alignment as Axiomatic Good. I no longer serve the laws of the lands, but the laws of the greater good that my poor mentally broken paladin believes axiomatically in.

1.6k
167 comments
2.3k

​My players recently saved the life of a bronze dragon wyrmling. An arrow had pierced the egg's shell with a critical hit and did enough damage to kill the wyrmling inside. The egg fell to the floor and shattered open, leaving the body of an underdeveloped hatchling dead before it ever had the chance to hatch.

The party's cleric had just turned level 5 and asked "Quickly guys! Does anybody have a diamond!?" Our dullahan player (oh yeah) being afraid/allergic to gold had stockpiled some gems, including a diamond worth about 2.5k gold. The cleric ran up and sacrificed the diamond to cast revivify on the hatchling. She opened her eyes and asked in draconic "Are you my life giver (parent)?"

Their druid speaks draconic and was able to translate for the cleric. "Yes, that is your life giver. And he says your name is Celeste." She parroted her new name back slowly.

Celeste: Sell...essssth

Dullahan player(shouting): OH MY GOD I LOVE HER!

Eldritch Knight: Calm down!

Celeste (mimicking the knight): Cahm....down!

Party: Awwww. Let's teach her more words!

She walked around proudly telling the other players the only two words she knew in common (Cahm down!). The players spent most of the session teaching her words, researching the history of bronze dragons in the library in town, purchasing all of the fish that the butcher had (Cleric to the butcher: "I'm afraid what you heard me say was 'bring me a lot of fish'...), and finding ways to hide her from the town guard.

It was adorably difficult, especially because she would get a little attitude while hungry. She would get especially naughty if the cleric wasn't right next to her (Cleric: "what I said was...bring me all the fish you have!"). She even broke into a nearby kitchen and absolutely destroyed it. The players were able to negotiate with the NPC. Using a little bit of gold for materials and their woodworking/tinkerer sets they were able to repair it better than before.

NPC: Hey! What's going on here! Stop this! You're destroying my kitchen!

Celeste (in broken common): Calm down. My food. Okay? You go! You stop!

Party: Crap...alright let's make this right.

Finding enough food for her was really difficult so they decided to go hunt in the nearby forest for the last half of the session. They had so much fun teaching her new words along the way. They taught her words like please, pardon, hello, help, thanks, stop, love, yes, no, more, etc.. I allowed the cleric to control her actions during combat. She would fly around and throw down some powerful lightning breath. She figured out pretty quickly that the low INT eldritch knight would almost always cave when asked for food and she schemed away all of his rations. I was having a blast playing her and using only the words they decided to teach her.

During the last fight of the session they were finishing up their hunt when an archmage suddenly entered battle. He cast Time Stop. He then Misty Stepped to her, used a ring (spoilers!) to Charm her, and Teleported the two of them away.

We're going to pick it up there next session if I'm still alive.

2.3k
152 comments
138

Alright, I just had to share this one. It was a moment that sort of just blew my mind and is currently top of my list for well-played inconspicuous and enigmatic roleplay. Gilbert, this is a toast to you.

So my player has the character in the campaign I DM, 'Broken Kohn'. He has a backstory we worked out where he grew up in the Anauroch desert, during a time of warlords and clan wars. He was captured by an enemy clan lord, and 'broken' until he submitted, then came to understand and sympathize with his previous captor until he went on to fight for him instead. Now, years later, the warlord-turned-sensei has disappeared and Broken Kohn left o adventure and see the wider world.

Kohn has an intelligence of 8, but a much higher Wisdom being the monk he is. He started out roleplaying him as frequently quoting his former master; "Master Yew always said victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win" and those sort of Sun Tzu or Confucious style mantras. He wasn't always, or even usually, using quotes but came up with them himself I think.

Now, the campaing we are playing is Night Below (but in 5e), and the group has been in the Underdark for most of it. Several sessions ago, a little over a month of real time (we play every week), Broken Kohn became the unfortunate victim of an intellect devourer; which reduced his intelligence to 0. Now the party's rogue (an arcane trickster) had a headband of intellect, and decided to try putting it on him. It took some time, but I allowed this to work; as long as he had the headband on he would have an intelligence of 19 and no longer be perma-stunned. Unfortunately, the party had no other means to fix this, so he went on for a long time using the headband. Now, at INT 19, Kohn was more than twice as smart as he was before; this took the form, somewhat jokingly in our group, of him speaking in a much less low-tone and gravely voice than he did before. He also said 'jolly good!' at one point, which another player roleplayed a reaction freaking out because he had never said anything like that before, and then 'jolly good' sort of became a calling card for him.

'Jolly good' is actually kind of important, for while that sort of became his new thing, he had also stopped with the Sensei Yew quotes; at first when we started playing he did it all the time but in more recent sessions they stopped entirely which seemed fine to me; roleplaying aspects, while cool, often get forgotten or left by the wayside as the story progresses and they flesh out their characters more. I noticed the lack of quoting, but let it slide without mention.

Now, fast-forward to a more recent session, and the group found a possible way to cure Kohn of his mind crippling after all; jolly good. They pursued this, and in a way that I won't go into here, did manage to reverse the effects of the intellect devourer! Kohn took off the headband and suffered no ill effects, back to his original intelligence of 8. Then, one of the first things he said after that was "Sensei Yew always said no battle can ever be truly one, only lost less than your opponent."

I didn't have to say it, another player laughed and said "hey, that's the first we've heard of Sensei Yew for a while! He loses his higher intelligence and suddenly it's back" and everyone laughed.

Except me. I didn't laugh. Because suddenly something dawned on me. While the players were laughing, I just absently said "It's almost like he can't think for himself any more."

Kohn's player snapped his fingers into a point and, chuckling, replied "exactly."

138
15 comments
224

So I've always been a loner in life. I have approximately three friends I've known for a long time. Then I went to my local game store and joined in on playing d&d twice a week. I quickly grew close to all of the regular patrons here over our love of this game. In every day Life, I'm in a bad point. I've been unemployed since February and my fiance's hours are constantly getting cut at her meager paying job. In comes one of the guys I play with offering me a job with his construction company. I should start Wednesday there, doing something I like for a decent rate of pay. This man has absolutely saved my bacon. Then you move to today where when taking my fiance to work, my truck ran out of fuel. I have a single dollar to my name and didn't know how I would get her to work, much less home. Suddenly a truck pulling a trailer of lawnmowers pulls over asking if we need fuel. In the passenger seat is sitting ANOTHER person we play d&d with. We'd still be stranded if they hadn't stopped for us. None of this would be possible without the their generosity and I would have never even met them without this game. I love d&d...

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2 comments
1.4k

We were doing a simple little puzzle dungeon for fun (and story filler) which consisted of about 5 rooms that all were based in illusion magic. Of course no one pieced that together but nevertheless it lead to some intense moments for some not really intense moments.

So as I said I stole a little puzzle recently which was a room with nothing in it, the door closes and locks from behind and the door ahead is already locked. There's just a lever that, when pulled, creates a magical timer that counts down. The timer however is counting down to the unlocking of the doors, but most PC's would understandably figure something bad happens when it reaches zero and pull the lever again to restart the counter. So I decided to break traditional D&D in game time to real world time and I pulled out a real counter that they had to solve the puzzle in real time.

The part I loved the most was progressively speaking faster and more urgently as though something is coming. This went on for 5 minutes or so of panicking PC's trying everything they could think from bashing at the doors, shooting at the doors, searching for hidden buttons, and looking for alternative routes. Everything but waiting the 30 real seconds to see what happens. At about the 6 minute mark the players all decided to sit on the floor (in game and real life) and give up hope. I counted with urgency when the timer reached 10, asking if they had any last actions. They said no and so I reached zero before proclaiming there was a soft click in which both doors unlock and they are free to carry on.

One player left the room, one player chased me around, one laid face down, and the last stress ate. I had a good laugh so 10/10 will troll players again!

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95 comments
263

So.. There is a guy in the group I am playing with, Three of us in the group are pretty sure he has been cheating with his character stats. Because He always seems to just be better than everyone else (he is a bard). we are only level 2 but he has multiple proficiency at 8 and two at 6...

and now we have found out that he ALSO has a warlock pact.... where he can resurrect himself. and if he is about to die he gets an army of deamons who protect him. Oh and he can read minds of any player (we all have a secret goal we are working towards.)

in our last game I wanted to try and negotiate with a goblin king but he said "I'll do it because i'm better at everything than you"

a few of us are frustrated and our DM just doesn't care.. He says it will make it more interesting :/ we don't know what to do anymore...

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143 comments
100

Okay so basically I was a chaotic good Tabaxi monk named Shenzai, who could basically move like 420 feet in one turn (it wasn't intentional it just happened). My friend in question was a chaotic neutral Dragonborn fighter named Scaleo, who had 18 constitution and 20 strength (I watched him roll for these stats; he rolled an 18 for strength but since he's a dragonborn he got +2 to strength).

We were playing 5e with our friends and we ended up discovering a lost civilization. And Shenzai and Scaleo got into a fight with some guards who were patrolling just before we were brought to the city, and she essentially just fuckin' ran 420 feet in a few seconds for her first turn. And, since she was a monk, she did this while running across water, making her even more divine appearing. Meanwhile Scaleo got fuckin' stabbed through his chest with a spear (like it went through his chest and came out the other side), survived, and then threw a gigantic boulder at someone

So, this lost civilization basically thought Shenzai and Scaleo were gods and started worshipping them, and the rest of our party was viewed as our acolytes.

So yeah we essentially became Miguel and Tulio from The Road to El Dorado while the rest of the party looked on in utter horror, because Shenzai and Scaleo were the least fit to be gods out of the entire 6-person party. Shenzai, because her world view is basically "do whatever to whomever as long as they deserve it," as well as her intelligence stat being like 5 (her wisdom stat is 18 tho, so she's dumb but wise). Scaleo, because he was his intelligence and wisdom stats were like 3 and 4 respectively. Us being viewed as gods gave us too much power.

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11 comments
66

So, my party accidentally killed a gnome in such a horrible manner that they all had nightmares for several days afterwards. It all started when they got a letter from an anonymous source saying they had a well paying job for them. When they showed up to the agreed location they met a gnome named Dolittle who they found out was part of a local gang....called the Shortstacks. It turns out they had just walked into a trap set up by the Shortstacks to get revenge for them taking down a crime lord they worked. with. It was a pretty decent fight, an army of gnomes and halflings jumped out of trash cans like clowns from a car, each armed with stripped crowbars and sharpened candy canes.

The "event" began when the Shortstacks began losing the fight and Dolittle chugged a reduce person potion to shrink himself down to about 6 inches tall and ran away. Our alchemist chased after him, caught him, and threw him into a glass bottle and corked it. They finished slaughtering the rest of the lollipop guild and decided to head back home while two of the party stayed behind to loot the corpses. The nightmares began about 3 minutes after they left when the potion began to wear off.

Dolittle began to grow and my party were prepared to catch him once he broke out of the glass bottle. But before that Happened, I had to roll a saving throw for the glass bottle

natural 20

The gnomes gets creamed, absolutely liquefied against the edges of this fucking glass, and the the cork goes flying off as a gory fountain of puréed gnome goes shooting out like champagne.

The party dropped the glass....looked at each other.....didn't say a word.....and walked silently back to the inn they stayed at to get a sad level of drunk out of cups as wide and open as possible, with dead eyes and blank stares

The alchemist drank his whiskey off a plate.

66
7 comments
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