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John Reynolds
@
JohnReynoldss
Brooklyn, NY
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🍔 J-Ball Pizza A$$ 🏀@searchpartytbs 🍕@stranger_things 🍫
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912
Mga Tweet
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604
Sinusundan
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6,017
Mga Tagasunod
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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Hun 7 |
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@CarmChristopher and @annieassqueef and I gonna do this show tonight at 9:30pm!! At @ComedyBrooklyn !! pic.twitter.com/hghbc8LGer
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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Hun 6 |
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I’ll be hosting this lil show tonight for my boys @MattBarats & @anthonyoberbeck !! twitter.com/anthonyoberbec…
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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Hun 5 |
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I had a big business presentation at work today, but right when I was about to present, I took a bite of my scrambled egg sandwich & some of the egg fell on my chair under my crotch. I spent 30 min trying to find the piece of egg & wasted my chance to present. I have been fired.
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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Hun 3 |
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As I passed first class, I made eye contact with everyone and whispered, “yeah, I’m usually up here with you guys.”
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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Hun 2 |
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What’s that drake song that’s like
🎶 I had sex with my momma I’m sorry! 🎶
???
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 31 |
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If I notice my friends laughing in a conversation I’m not included in I just shriek, “STOP!!” Then I stare at them for a few seconds. Then I say, “stop.” In a much calmer but stern voice.
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 29 |
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Please...
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 29 |
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Like me if you’re a 90’s kid... please like me.
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 27 |
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Brought my bowl of soup to the pool
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 27 |
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Whenever I see a ripped couple in workout gear I’m like, “ooooweeee... I don’t know which one of y’all I want to beat my ass first!”
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 26 |
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Gymnasts are cool and all but I would like to say that I be doing similar shit when people aren’t looking.
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 25 |
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Little bit about me... I’m constantly all like, “your secret is safe with me” then I go right to the police!!
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 24 |
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When the stewardess said “Thank you for choosing United Airlines” I leapt out of my seat, marched right up to her and said, “I didn’t CHOOSE United Airlines, my fucking mom books all my flights!”
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 21 |
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We back tonight at @ucbtny at 7:30pm!! @garyyesgary @CarmChristopher and @annieassqueef gonna be der! pic.twitter.com/5I5CwmYh0Q
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 20 |
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Watch Joe’s show tonight!! Him and his team of sweeties really knocked it out the park. twitter.com/josephpera/sta…
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 19 |
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I’ll be on this show tomorrow night with some good folks!! twitter.com/bellhouseny/st…
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 18 |
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Killed it at Recconcilation today! 😊
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Baby's All Right
@BabysAllRight
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May 14 |
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~+ T O N I G H T +~
~+ The Roast of Your 15 ear Old Self +~ w/ @_irenemerrow @JohnReynoldss @ziwe & more +~
~+ $10 ~+ 8:30pm +~
tix: ticketf.ly/2ruq1fn pic.twitter.com/5oPsY6nhvd
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 11 |
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I like to check in with my neighbors and go door to door asking, “Is there anything you want to say to me bitch?”
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John Reynolds
@JohnReynoldss
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May 11 |
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Let’s just say in middle school... I was get 👏 ting 👏 those HUGS!
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