Michelle ButeauVerified account

@MichelleButeau

I've been doing sit ups since I was ten. They don't work. Buy my comedy album!

Brooklyn, New York
michellebuteau.com
Joined January 2010
1,129 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 5 hours ago

    Awww panties 🙌🏾🙌🏾

    Replying to @MichelleButeau
    Just put on tv more.
    9 likes
  2. 7 hours ago

    THIS 👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾

    "Ice cream"-- frozen banana chunks in a good processor with peanut butter, chocolate hazel nut spread almond butter, or speculoos
    6 likes
  3. 9 hours ago

    I have a reoccurring dream that I need to unpack my dishwasher. I literally have to dream bigger.

    1 retweet 22 likes
  4. 9 hours ago

    Dreaaaams 🙏🏾🤶🏾🙏🏾🤶🏾🙏🏾🤶🏾

    WOULD WATCH with you as host
    2 likes
  5. 9 hours ago

    I wanna pitch a scripted show to . I'm a baker who has to sell meth edibles to pay for my chemo called "Breaking Bread"

    Replying to @MichelleButeau
    This is my dream!
    1 reply 10 likes
  6. 9 hours ago

    Do you know how many times I've pitched a Kwanzaa cooking show?

    Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are underrepresented in Food Network holiday programming. I would totes watch a show where people had to make cooperative economics-themed cobblers.
    3 replies 1 retweet 28 likes
  7. Retweeted
    Nov 24

    Dear , We don’t like you. Sincerely, America

    494 replies 8,897 retweets 37,751 likes
  8. Retweeted
    Nov 24

    The President is incorrect about how we choose Person of the Year. TIME does not comment on our choice until publication, which is December 6.

    21,486 replies 175,206 retweets 471,627 likes
  9. Retweeted
    Nov 24

    Malia Obama’s private life, as a young woman, a college student, a private citizen, should not be your clickbait. Be better.

    3,700 replies 91,038 retweets 396,323 likes
  10. Retweeted
    Nov 24

    Show has a DEEP bench for $10. with my co-host . Got that feature look from too?! Bring yourself to . Calories & holiday angst will be burned

    1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
  11. Retweeted
    Nov 23

    From the Obama family to yours, we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving full of joy and gratitude.

    31,515 replies 213,513 retweets 1,301,683 likes
  12. Nov 23

    He's about to be a joke. Whoops.

    Replying to @MichelleButeau
    FXCK DAT TELL HIM TO EAT THE NAPKINS YA PANZEE
    3 likes
  13. Nov 23

    You too boo! 🙏🏾

    Replying to @MichelleButeau
    😂😂😂 happy thanksgiving
    3 likes
  14. Nov 23

    A friend just listed 6 food allergies hours before thanksgiving dinner. I assume he's also allergic to manners?

    3 replies 1 retweet 48 likes
  15. Nov 23

    Gonna be honest, did this morning so I could tell everyone at thanksgiving dinner 🙋🏽

    4 replies 2 retweets 43 likes
  16. Retweeted
    Nov 22

    I can hardly wait! FREE with RSVP 11/29 👩🏻

    , , and 4 others
    5 retweets 4 likes
  17. Retweeted
    Nov 21

    show this Sunday, 11/26 @ 8 PM $10 w/ + more! Tix:

    1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
  18. Retweeted
    Nov 21

    They should just stop making bathrobes for men

    63 replies 197 retweets 1,215 likes
  19. Retweeted
    Nov 21

    There could be only one reason why DT backs a man who tried to rape a minor. He has no problem with that behavior. Wonder why. Simpatico?

    861 replies 6,638 retweets 23,352 likes
  20. Nov 20

    Also, take a shower together. You can learn a lot about how kind someone is in the shower 💦💦

    Q3: . Do you have a dating tip for us?
    1 reply 2 retweets 7 likes

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