“The man-shaped arrangement of meat rose up, as if functioning as one body. It pushed itself up on two arms made of game hens and country bacon, plant“The man-shaped arrangement of meat rose up, as if functioning as one body. It pushed itself up on two arms made of game hens and country bacon, planting two hands with sausage-link fingers on the floor. The phrase “sodomized by a bratwurst poltergeist” suddenly flew through my mind. Finally it stood fully upright, looking like the mascot for a butcher shop whose profits went entirely to support the owner’s acid habit.”
The above quote from the prologue sets the tone very nicely for John Dies at the End. It really is a wild ride of a book. I became interested in this book a few years ago when I heard it was being adapted into a movie back in 2012. The title alone is quite intriguing; here is a book that seems to spoil its own ending from the title, that is something new. Of course, the title does not really spoil the book but it is a damn good hook. I added it on my TBR and it languished there for several years. I think it was priced quite expensively at the time, something over USD 10 for a 376 pages book, so I put it on the backburner. A couple of weeks ago Amazon offered the e-book for a limited time at USD 2.76 so I was quite happy to snap it up.
John Dies at the End is more about David Wong—the character, not the author*—than it is about John. Dave and John are besties in the grandExcellent! tradition of Bill and Ted.
David Wong, in spite of the name, is not Chinese, he prefers to use a pseudonym for the sake of anonymity. At the beginning of the book, it seems that John and Dave are some kind of Ghostbusters who are called to investigate or exorcise spirits, demons or any kind of supernatural entities. As a pair of paranormal investigators, they are more similar to Sam and Dean Winchester from the CW series “Supernatural” than the Ghostbusters team or The X-Files’ Mulder and Scully. After the encounter with the Meat Monster in the prologue, the narrative rewinds to the beginning of their paranormal investigation career. John and Dave are exposed to a weird substance nicknamed “Soy Sauce” that enables them to see supernatural or pandimensional beings from other dimensions. Immediately they become embroiled in a plot by shadowy beings to corrupt and take over our reality. John Dies at the End is basically the story of the duo’s struggle to save the world.
The main body of the narrative is nested inside a frame story where Dave is being interviewed by a reporter who specializes in paranormal stories. From beginning to end it is a very fast-paced narrative, and never really slow down to take a breather. I usually enjoy fast paced page turners but I feel it is overdone here. Incident piles upon incident in rapid succession, not much time is spent on expositions or character development. I felt like I was hanging on to the narrative by the skin of my teeth. This has the ironic effect of the book becoming a little monotonous toward the end. On the plus side there are quite a lot of bizarre sights to see; wig monsters, gigantic blobby monsters, flying parasites, ghosts, clones, exploding dogs and policemen, copious amount of blood and poo etc. Wig Monsters by FlammablePerson
There is also an unpleasant parallel dimension our heroes amusingly name “Shit Narnia”. There is plenty to keep me interested, but not a lot to care about. I think it comes down to characterization. John and Dave are likable enough duo with their bantering, flippant attitude, defiance of authority and penis jokes. However, I feel that there is insufficient depth to them to carry almost 400 pages of narrative. Thankfully there is a little bit of romance between Dave and a girl called Amy which provides a nice bit of light and shade to the inexorable narrative. It also gives Dave an opportunity to become a hero instead of a smartass.
The prose style seems to be aimed at teenaged boys, however, the often NSFW adolescent humour did make me chuckle quite a few times. The author writes a bit like Andy Weir on speed, though, for me, the humour here works better than The Martian. My only complaint is the relentless pacing which sometimes makes the narrative feel overly chaotic and even a bit of a mess. It becomes oddly exhausting toward the end of the book. Even the epilogue seems excessively long and the pacing is still not winding down. While reading the last twenty or so pages I felt the book outstayed it's welcome a little; I suspect 300 pages would have been just right.
Having said all that I don’t want to give the impression that John Dies at the End is bad or dull. It is a fun book, possibly ideal for readers with short attention span, or those looking for nonstop thrills. I don’t think I am on board for the sequel This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It, but it has a higher GR rating than this book so I may change my mind later if I fancy reading something wild. Certainly, I have no regret reading this book. If you are looking for a funny, wild, and anarchic sci-fi horror adventure this could do very well. If you are cautious perhaps you can try a sample chapter from Amazon, the book does start with a bang, and the prologue is quite representative of the entire book.
* The author's use of the David Wong pen name lends his first person narration an air of verisimilitude, and a "meta" feel. His real name, Jason Pargin, is no secret, it is mentioned in the introduction to the book, written by eccentric filmmaker, Don Coscarelli, who directed the film adaptation and also a few weird movies like Phantasm and Bubba Ho-Tep. ____________________
Quotes If I had known what was about to happen at work I wouldn’t have gone, of course. I would also have taken off my pants.
Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies.
“You have tormented me six times. Now prepare to meat your doom!” I have no way of knowing that it actually said “meat” instead of “meet” but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. I ran.
“Good. Anyway, Amy is missing and the scene is weird as shit. The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it’ll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean. Because you’re gay.”
“Dave? It’s me. Amy’s missing and we got what looks like a bag full of fat here. It’s weird. And I mean ‘bad’ weird, not ‘clown’ weird.
There was a time when I would have found the idea of certain death a little comforting, like being on the last day of a job I hated.
“I had always felt aversion to my uncourtly patronymic, and its very common, if not plebeian praenomen.”
“It was night, and the rain fell; and falling“I had always felt aversion to my uncourtly patronymic, and its very common, if not plebeian praenomen.”
“It was night, and the rain fell; and falling, it was rain, but, having fallen, it was blood. And I stood in the morass among the tall and the rain fell upon my head—and the lilies sighed one unto the other in the solemnity of their desolation.”
Say what?? Is it rain or is it blood, or is it a plebeian praenomen? And WTF is a praenomen anyway?
Edgar Allan Poe is not the easiest author to get on with. From time to time he lapses into writing weird indecipherable passages like the ones above. People often accuse H.P. Lovecraft of writing purple prose, but Lovecraft has nothing on Poe whose prose is so purple he is probably Prince’s (RIP) favorite author*. Still, the stories in this collection are mostly great if you can get through “the language barrier”. Certainly for Halloween you would be hard pressed to find a better anthology.
When professional reviewers review an anthology they don't normally review each story in the book. Fortunately I am not a pro and this is how I like to do it, so here we go:
1. The Tell-Tale Heart One of Poe’s best known stories. Our unreliable narrator decides to kill his granddad because he has an annoyingly weird eye. That is just the beginning of the story, what transpires is literally insane and quite disturbing.
2. The Black Cat Another unnamed psychotic narrator /protagonist kills his pet cat and later his wife. Trouble starts for him when he attempts to kill a second cat. The most violent story in the book, lots of madness, mayhem, and spooky felines. Gives me the willies. An excellent Halloween read.
3. The Cask of Amontillado A story of revenge for unknown offences. Whathisname lures his friendenemy to his creepy wine cellar with the promise of a cask of vintage Amontillado.
Interestingly this story seems to have brought Poe back into vogue with the Tumblr generation. The Cask of Amontillado has become a meme! (Thank you, Cecily for the info).
4. Fall of the House of Usher Probably as famous as The Tell-Tale Heart. Quite sane unnamed protagonist visits his almost sane friend Roderick Usher at his creepy creaky and cracked in the middle house, where he lives with his dying sister Madeline. The poor lady soon dies and things go from bad to…. OMG! That ending!
5. The Masque of the Red Death One of Poe’s more overtly supernatural stories (most of them seem to be psychological horror). Prince Prospero throws a masquerade ball during a time when the “Red Death” plague has gone more viral than Rick Rolling. Different coloured rooms, a creepy clock that chimes every hour and unfailingly stops all the partiers in their track as they can never get used to it. At midnight, as the party is in full swing, a mysterious hooded figure in a horrible robe and wearing a scary mask gatecrashes…
Very spooky.
6. The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar “My attention, for the last three years, had been repeatedly drawn to the subject of Mesmerism; and, about nine months ago it occurred to me, quite suddenly, that in the series of experiments made hitherto, there had been a very remarkable and most unaccountable omission:—no person had as yet been mesmerized in articulo mortis.”
LOL! Well, that is going to work out well for him – not! Some people just have very strange hobbies. Our unnamed narrator is very much into hypnotism and conducts an experiment on his pal M. Valdemar who is literally at death’s door. The results are unexpected and horrifying.
7. Ligeia A bit of a long-winded ghost story. Opium-fueled hallucination or supernatural shenanigan. You decide!
8. The Murders in the Rue Morgue Aha! Surely you have heard of this one! Monsieur C. Auguste Dupin, prototype pre-Holmes ace detective investigates an impossible murder in Paris while mocking the The Parisian police for their lack of imagination.
“The Parisian police, so much extolled for acumen, are cunning, but no more. There is no method in their proceedings, beyond the method of the moment.”
Inspector Lestrade probably has a cousin working there. There is even a prototype Watson narrating the story, unfortunately he is a Poe narrator so he does not get a name. Dupin is awesome but a very long-winded fellow. His elaborate explanations go on and on and Watson his sidekick should have said “My dear fellow! TMI!”. Still a great story, though and more violent asnd graphic than any Holmes or Poirot adventure. I was going to post a nice picture to illustrate this story a bit but they are either spoilers or not very good, so no pics.
9. The Purloined Letter Dupin is back! (and he barely just left)
“That is another of your odd notions," said the Prefect, who had a fashion of calling every thing "odd" that was beyond his comprehension, and thus lived amid an absolute legion of "oddities." ” Burn! A story of a stolen important letter that can be used for blackmail purposes and destroy careers of public figures. It is not very fast-paced and Dupin is even more long-winded here. Excellent denouement, though. Clever stuff and quite entertaining, Dupin’s super long-winded expositions notwithstandiung. The old "look over there!" trick from sneaky Dupin
Conan Doyle's tribute to Poe is Holmes dissing Dupin!†
10. A Descent into the Maelström A stunningly boring tale of a whirlpool, it sucked me down its vortex and left me unconscious on my chair for at least 15 minutes. An excellent soporific.
In all fairness you may enjoy it, I just find an entire story based on a whirlpool very dull.
11. The Pit and the Pendulum Our unnamed narrator finds himself—quite unexpectedly—in the clutches of the Spanish Inquisition.
OK, got that out of my system! Alas, no comfy chair for the poor fellow. More this sort of thing: No sexy girlie to watch over him, though (damn Hollywood!)
A fantastic and very visceral story, beautifully constructed and the creepiness builds and builds. You can just about feel the pendulum’s blade swishing over your chest.
12. MS. Found in a Bottle I thought it was going to be about a genie in a bottle, turned out to be a dull ghost ship story. How can a ghost ship story be dull? Poe was so versatile and talented he could do anything; including writing dull ghost ship stories.
13. The Premature Burial A weird story about our unnamed narrator’s obsession with being buried alive by mistake. The narrative starts with Whathisname regaling the readers with documented cases of people being buried in error when they were still alive. The narrator suffers from a rare (of course) disorder that puts him into a state of death-like catalepsy. So his biggest fear is becoming cataleptic in places where he is not known, he imagines that he may one day wake up to find himself six feet under, struggling to get out. (not a spoiler) Great story!
14. William Wilson A bizarre Twilight Zone-ish story. I did not like it to begin with, as Poe was rambling again earlier on, but I quickly changed my mind when weirdness ensues. A strange, possibly allegorical story of a doppelganger. Supernatural or psychological? Again, you decide! I tend to favor the supernatural explanation because that is the kind of guy I am!
15. Eleonora A fable with an unexpected non-twist. WTF? LOL! Poe got me there, I find it kind of hilarious when I got to the end (not sure if that is the effect Poe has in mind).
16. Silence - A Fable Mine eyes glazed over this story from beginning to end, and I can’t really tell you anything about it. Read my friend Glenn's erudite review of this story instead.
17. The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket This is Poe’s only full length novel. I have not read it yet, I am sorry to say. I suspect Poe – like Lovecraft - is better in small doses. I may get around to it one day. You will be the first to know (well, top ten at least!)
As mentioned earlier Poe prose is sometimes hard to read, or even downright impenetrable. He often starts his stories with pages of rambling to set the scene to his stories. Fortunately, the stories often take wing after he is done setting the scene. Occasionally that does not happen and he just rambles on until the end.
At his best, his stories are fascinating and often horrifying. The images that his best stories conjure up are indelible in my mind. Better still, the very best ones can be read again and again; sometimes even immediately after having just read them. It is all too easy to miss details on the first read because his prose is often convoluted> However, rereading these stories often yields greater understanding and appreciation.
* He is a much better prose stylist then Lovecraft, though. Poe is naturally eloquent whereas I feel Lovecraft tries too hard and often end up with verbiage.
I have not reviewed the poems in this book because I have not yet read them (except The Raven, which is awesome). I don’t think I should attempt reviewing poems, I will leave that to my friend Cecily. Spooky Quotes: “It was not a groan of pain or of grief—oh, no!—it was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe.”
“That perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary faculties, or sentiments, which give direction to the character of Man. Who has not, a hundred times, found himself committing a vile or a silly action, for no other reason than because he knows he should not?”
“He who has never swooned, is not he who finds strange palaces and wildly familiar faces in coals that glow; is not he who beholds floating in mid-air the sad visions that the many may not view; is not he who ponders over the perfume of some novel flower—is not he whose brain grows bewildered with the meaning of some musical cadence which has never before arrested his attention.” (WTF?)
† External quote: Sherlock Holmes dissing Dupin: “No doubt you think that you are complimenting me in comparing me to Dupin,” he observed. “Now, in my opinion, Dupin was a very inferior fellow. That trick of his of breaking in on his friends’ thoughts with an apropos remark after a quarter of an hour’s silence is really very showy and superficial. He had some analytical genius, no doubt; but he was by no means such a phenomenon as Poe appeared to imagine.” From A Study In Scarlet...more
“SATAN’S GOT YOU!” Falconer roared, the veins of his neck bulging. “That cloven-hoofed, horned, fork-tongued Devil has got you right in his clawwwwws “SATAN’S GOT YOU!” Falconer roared, the veins of his neck bulging. “That cloven-hoofed, horned, fork-tongued Devil has got you right in his clawwwwws”— he lifted his right hand into the air, contorting it into a claw and twisting as if ripping flesh from the bone—“ and he’s gonna squeeze you and mold you and make you like he isssss! … And if you’re a guest in Satan’s house and you like the dark, evil place, then you don’t belong here tonight!”
Evangelicalism is a major theme in this book.
In the 80s Robert R. McCammon was one of my favorite authors. He wrote mainly horror novels then he found commercial success with Bradbury-ish childhood nostalgia fiction Boy's Life which I–at the time–found to be disappointing, as it is not what I wanted from him; it was a bit like your favorite rock band making a country album. He followed Boy’s Life with another mainstream book Gone South which I didn’t read, then he disappeared for more than ten years, and returned with Speaks the Nightbird. Anyway, while he was a horror author I was a fan, now we seem to have gone separate ways.
Mystery Walk was published in 1983 while he was near the summit of his powers as a horror author, I think he hit his peak in the fantastic Swan Song, published four years later. I prefer to write short synopses than long ones, or avoid writing them altogether if I feel I can get away with it, but some books are densely plotted and the plot is integral to review. So, for the benefit of synopses skimmers like myself, I have made a clear division below so you can just jump to my opinionated nonsense instead!
— ╮( ˘_˘ )╭ Synopsis begins ╮( ˘_˘ )╭ — Mystery Walk concerns a young man, Billy Creekmore of American Indian descent, living in Hawthorne in North Alabama With his parents. His mother, Ramona, has an ability to communicate with the dead, to help them cross over when they are tied to this world by some kind of traumatic death which their soul cannot come to terms with; and also the ability to see a “death aura” around people whose death is imminent. Unfortunately, Billy has inherited the same spooky abilities from his mother, and communicating with the dead is not really a fun thing to do, they don't seem to have much of interest to say, and often cause a lot of grief for the living. Knowing who is going to die is even less desirable as it is generally impossible to convince the doomed people, and their reactions are always hostile.
One day Billy and his parents attend a tent revival (Billy’s father is a devout Christian undiscerning variety), the revival is by “Jimmy Jed Falconer”, self-proclaimed “The South’s Greatest Evangelist”. The evangelist is accompanied by his son Wayne who claim to have the ability to heal. Ramona can see from the aura of the people being “healed” that they are not going to get better, and are being given dangerously false hopes of miraculous cures and told not to go to doctors. Ramona confronts the evangelist with this, while Wayne Falconer feels an instinctive hatred toward both mother and son, who are summarily thrown out of the tent. The second encounter after a fire at Billy’s school (which he kind of foresaw but failed to prevent) makes matters between them much worse. At the same time, a demonic entity who feeds on fear and misery of souls is out to destroy both mother and son who are spoiling his unhappy meals. Then a supremely evil gangster with OCD enters the scene and things quickly go south for the good guys… — ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ Synopsis ends ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ — Symbolic representation of the struggle between good and evil, directly from the book.
Horror fiction is often unfairly viewed with disdain, even more so than its distant cousins, science fiction, and fantasy. While the purpose of most horror fiction is to give the reader the heebeegeebees (in a good way), some of the best horror fiction have depths, subtexts, themes and motif you can chew on at your leisure, or ignore completely if you prefer. Mystery Walk is one of the more complex offerings of the genre. A certain type of evangelicalism prevailing in Alabama, and perhaps other southeastern regions of the US, is depicted here as charismatic orators exploiting the more gullible elements of fundamentalist Christianity. They not only generate fear and hatred for things that they deem sinful (like rock and roll, long hair etc.), and worse still convince sick people that they have been miraculously healed by The Lord through the evangelist’s gifts; and doctors are not needed. Going to the doctor after being “healed” may even be sinful. McCammon also explores the theme of death which is not a sin as some evangelists would have us believe. “I'm not saying I understand death, and I’m not saying I know what Heaven and Hell are going to be like, but death itself isn’t evil, Billy; it’s the call to rest after a long day’s work.” One of the most vivid scenes from the book
The town of Hawthorne also suffers from racism and bigotry. “Things were even troubled right here in the Hawthorne Baptist Church; Reverend Horton did his best, but there was no fire nor brimstone in his sermons, and worst of all he’d been seen over at the church in Dusktown helping the blacks with their potluck supper. Nobody liked to shake Horton’s hand anymore”
On the more positive side of life McCammon effectively portrays the loving relationship between father and son: “Time’s wastin’,” John said, and reached out to his son. They linked hands and John felt the immediate warm pleasure of contact with the boy. Billy was so alive, so alert and curious; some of his youth rubbed off on John when they could be together.
In spite of the serious themes the narrative moves at a fast pace and is never dull. My only complaint is that the hero Billy Creekmore spends most of the book being rather naïve and ineffectual. Only towards the end does he manage to put his supernatural talent to good use and come to terms with his mission in life (his “Mystery Walk”).
McCammon is really a terrific storyteller, I really wish he would return to the horror genre, though he seems to be finding success with his current series of historical crime fiction. Perhaps I will start reading that one day when I am in the mood for such things. In the meantime, if you like horror fiction, especially if you are a Stephen King fan, I highly recommend that you explore some of McCammon’s back catalog.
Penalized half a star because the hero is a bit of an idiot.
This is the version I have, a good distillation of the book's major themes....more
“Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.”
This iconic quote illustrates the unfathomable depth of Dracula’s evil. Not only does he“Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.”
This iconic quote illustrates the unfathomable depth of Dracula’s evil. Not only does he have terrible taste in music (wolf metal, anyone?), he is keen to inflict his awful taste on poor Jonathan Harker who is already regretting his visit to Dracula’s castle. If the novel was set in the present day the Count probably would have put on a “Yoko Ono’s Greatest Hits CD”. “Listen to her. Nice Japanese lady. What music she makes.”. At which point Jonathan, usually slow on the uptake, would have run away screaming.
One of these days I will be able to resist the urge to write stupid intros to my reviews. Today is not that day.
Dracula is one of the most frightening horror novels ever; or it would have scared the willies out of me if I did not already know the story in considerable details (I was a bit hazy about the last two chapters though). I should warn you that this review is full of spoilers; I wonder if there is anything left to spoil though, presumably you are well aware that the poor Count’s plan for turning all of London batty does not according to plan. Having said that, even if you know the entire story but never read the book you ought to take the time to read it. Bram Stoker did a terrific job of creating a dark, brooding atmosphere, and writing some horrific and even erotic scenes that I imagine must have caused nineteenth century readers of delicate constitution to pass out.
I am surprised that Stoker did not organize the novel into three parts, something like this:
Part 1: Jonathan Harker’s visit to Dracula’s castle. Part 2: Dracula vamping it up in London. Part 3: Dracula buggers off back to Transylvania.
Dracula is a very well paced novel, with several memorable characters. Starting with the Count himself of course, in the first few chapters of the book I find him quite affable and generally very polite (bad taste in music notwithstanding). I cannot help but find Jonathan Harker a bit of an idiot. Especially in the scene when he is shaving with the aid of a mirror, Drac comes barging in and he notices the old vamp’s lack of a reflection; then Drac rudely throws his mirror out the window and later Jonathan writes this in his journal:
“It is very annoying, for I do not see how I am to shave, unless in my watch-case or the bottom of the shaving-pot, which is fortunately of metal.”
LOL! He is annoyed that he can’t shave after seeing the Count casts no reflection? He really needs to sort out his priorities. Even before the shaving incident he notices the Count has gross hairy hands with horrible long fingers and Wolverine fingernails, and he still sticks around to discuss the sights and sounds of London with the old dude! Miss Lucy Westenra’s fiancé Arthur Holmwood is equally slow on the uptake, he notices that Lucy’s teeth have been growing longer and sharper since she became ill, especially her canines which are particularly long and pointy. He passes this off as a symptom of her illness, presumably an unexpected dental side effect from whatever virus is causing her mysterious blood loss. Only Prof Van Helsing—the man with the plan from the Netherlands—seems to know his rear end from his elbow, but even he does a very poor job of protecting Lucy. He knows there is a vampire about and he still leaves the girl alone with her mom and goes off to get a good night sleep at his hotel or something.
Van Helsing reminds me of Agatha Christie’s Poirot or TV’s detective Columbo, an eccentric genius who likes to pass himself off as an amiable fool. His idiosyncratic uses of English grammar is probably more Poirot than Columbo though, with a touch of Yoda. Then we have Renfield with his intellectual conversations and fondness for insectile cuisine with extra toppings of rats. The ladies are equally memorable, with Lucy being entirely helpless to begin with until she becomes Lucy 2.0 the scary, sexy, badass vampire, better known to kids in London as “The Bloofer Lady”, Mrs. Mina Harker has much more self-reliance and fortitude, even after the ghastly “baptism of blood”; silly Drac messes with the wrong girl there. Stoker does tend to be somewhat misogynic with his assumption of what women are generally capable of, but on the other hand Mina is portrayed as strong and quite ingenious, an intellectual equal of Prof VH I would say.
As far as I know Stoker was a one-hit wonder, but if you are only going to have one hit, may as well make it an all-time great. While Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein is a beautiful, poignant, and lyrical novel, it is less concerned with scaring the bejesus out of the readers, whereas Dracula is really quite horrific (in spite of my effort at lampooning it). If you enjoy horror fiction Dracula is a must-read.
• Contrary to what Francis Ford Coppola and other filmmakers would have you believe, Dracula never had any romantic feelings for Mina Harker, she is just another Happy Meal to him.
• Shame about Renfield, I think he would have liked an albatross on a stick.
• Dracula is sometimes called “Prince of Darkness” (in Hammer films) but did you know that he is also “Prince of Logistics”, he really organizes his traveling arrangements like a pro, and he booked a hotel for Jonathan Harker!
• The epistolary narrative format works quite well, but how can a bunch of people write diaries in practically the same style?
• My favourite film adaptation of Dracula is the 1977 one by the BBC, about 90% faithful to Stoker's book, and gave me the willies. Somebody uploaded the whole thing to Youtube, but these unauthorized uploads are often removed so I won't link to it....more
One of my favorite stories, just the thing to read for Halloween, not that it is particularly scary, but it does have a dark atmosphere and a cool supOne of my favorite stories, just the thing to read for Halloween, not that it is particularly scary, but it does have a dark atmosphere and a cool supernatural conceit involving wishes and an imp. Like The Monkey’s Paw which I just reviewed earlier today, the story is underpinned by the theme of “be careful what you wish for”. Having said that the way wishes work in The Bottle Imp is much more complex and interesting than The Monkey's Paw.
Basically whoever possess the bottled imp can make an unlimited number of wishes, but they must sell the bottle for less than the purchase price before they die, otherwise they will burn in hell forever after their death. That doesn't sound like much of a challenge, selling things at a loss is easy, it’s making a profit that is always a struggle. However, Robert Louis Stevenson cleverly explores the practicality of reselling an item that reduces in value until it reaches the ultimate price level of zilch.
If you have all your wishes you want, but you bought the bottle for a single penny what would you do? The protagonist Keawe thought he had it made when he was able to sell the bottle after being granted a mansion and a servant by the imp. Unfortunately after selling the bottle he is afflicted with leprosy just when he is preparing to marry the beautiful Kokua, the love of his life. His only hope for a cure is to buy the bottle back from whoever has it now. Tracking down the bottle is not particularly challenging, and buying it is all too easy. The problem is that the selling rice is now extremely low, fortunately, his wife Kokua has the brilliant idea of going overseas to a country where the currency has a lower minimum denomination than in the US. So off they go to Tahiti a “centime” is worth less than half of a penny. You will have to read it to find how it all turns out.
Though not as legendary as Stevenson’s classic The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Bottle Imp is a very entertaining and thought-provoking story, the morality of selling such a bottle is, after all, questionable. It is whimsically narrated in the style of a folk tale, and the conclusion is nice and satisfying.
You probably already know this story. A monkey's paw that can grant wishes but always at a horrible cost. Unfortunately, I can’t write any kind of synYou probably already know this story. A monkey's paw that can grant wishes but always at a horrible cost. Unfortunately, I can’t write any kind of synopsis without totally spoiling the story. In any case, it is a classic and highly influential supernatural horror story. If you are familiar with Stephen King’s much more horrifying Pet Sematary you will probably find that The Monkey's Paw is its direct inspiration.
Certainly The Monkey's Paw is a great little story but not particularly scary for today’s sensibilities. The hint at something unspeakable lurking behind a closed door just does not work anymore, to be honest, it never worked for me to begin with. If you got it flaunt it. For me, the (anti)climax of the story is a bit of a cop out. The author should have gone all the way and show us some messed up monstrosity that will drive the reader insane just from the description, but he pulled back at the last minute.
Still, it’s a nice and quick read with some good spooky atmosphere. An OK Halloween read I think. It probably seems terrifying a century ago.
“SF/F/H”, the holy trinity of genre fiction, my neck of the woods for reading. I read a hell of a lot of sci-fi (SF), I read about a couple of fantasy“SF/F/H”, the holy trinity of genre fiction, my neck of the woods for reading. I read a hell of a lot of sci-fi (SF), I read about a couple of fantasy (F) titles a year, but I've been neglecting the horror fiction (H) genre in recent years. The reason is that besides Stephen King I don't tend to hear much about exciting new horror titles. Sci-fi and fantasy books win the prestigious Hugo and Nebula awards and I am always aware of the winners. As far as I know the equivalent award for horror fiction is the Stoker Award and somehow people don’t seem to talk about them very much. Anyway, to cut a long story short I miss reading horror fiction and want to get back to it.
Ghost Story is Peter Straub’s best known and most popular book, I remember reading it in my teens when it was on the bestsellers list, I remember liking it but for the life of me cannot remember any of the details. Having just reread it this is not so surprising as this is quite a complex story and the title is somewhat misleading. The book is divided into several parts with a nonlinear timeline. It starts off intriguingly with a 24 pages prologue about a man who has kidnapped a strange little girl, but the kidnapper is more afraid of the kidnappee than the other way around. The girl seems to take it all in stride and may, in fact, not be a girl at all. After this prologue the story goes back to a few years earlier where a group of for elderly gentlemen meet on a regular basis to share ghost stories which may or may not be true. They call themselves “The Chowder Society”, apparently there is some kind of therapeutic value for them in telling these stories; there has been an undertone of fear in this little club since one of their members died under mysterious circumstances at a party while in the company of an actress who disappeared.
The next part of the book tells the story of Donald Wanderley, the child kidnapper from the prologue. He is a nephew of the dead club member of the Chowder Society and an author of a horror novel. After publication of his book he took a temporary job teaching at Berkeley, there he meets and falls madly in love with a mysterious beautiful girl. They get on famously, make wedding plans and one day she just disappears; next thing he knows she meets his brother David in another town, they fall in love and soon David dies under mysterious circumstances. The girl disappears again.
Ghost Story is not a whodunit, but it is not really about ghosts (though a few do show up). The story is quite a complex but not at all hard to follow. A creepy atmosphere pervades the entire book and the reader what is going on with the disappearing girls and the dead people they leave behind. It is meticulously written by Straub. The supernatural element often has a hallucinogenic feel to it and the climax is quite rousing. The characters are well drawn but not particularly memorable. I find that Straub’s storytelling is not as taut as it could be and the pacing drags a little in the earlier parts of the book; too many scenes of the old gents pottering around grumbling. His brand of horror is subtle and often psychological, there is very little in the gore department.
If you are looking for an elegantly written, unusual and complex horror story this is for you, but how many people are looking for such a thing?
If you are reading this in October this would be a great Haloween read....more
As Horns is basically about a man who wakes up one day and finds that horns have sprouted on his head it is very tempting to start with a very lame joAs Horns is basically about a man who wakes up one day and finds that horns have sprouted on his head it is very tempting to start with a very lame joke “here is a guy who wakes up feeling horny - LOL!”. Fortunately I would never stoop to that level (plus it has already been done).
OK, so Ignatius Martin Perrish wakes up with a couple of horns and some supernatural power which most people would rather do without. Horns starts off like some dark and surreal comedy but as the story unfolds the narrative tone gradually shifts into a more serious, reflective and tragic territory. Horns is the second novel by Joe Hill, also the second that I have read by him. Just last month I read Heart-Shaped Box and enjoyed it tremendously, I only quickly followed it with Horns because the movie adaptation is coming out and I don’t want to be spoiled by the trailer and other publicity.
In my review of Heart-Shaped Box I made a minor complaint to the effect that Hill’s prose style is not as refined as I would like it to be. His father is not exactly known for literary finesse but he can slip into a lyrical mode when it suits him. With this book I think Hill’s writing has become more refined, there are no lyrical passages to speak of but the narrative feels more emotional and there are some nice observations like:
“The truth about music: that it was the third rail of life. You grabbed it to shock yourself out of the dull drag of hours, to feel something, to burn with all the emotions you didn’t get to experience in the ordinary run of school and TV and loading the dishwasher after dinner.”
And also some LOL comments like “He paused, considering the law in Deuteronomy that forbade clothes with mixed fibers. “Only the devil wants man to have a wide range of lightweight and comfortable styles to choose from,” he murmured at last, trying out a new proverb. “Although there may be no forgiveness for polyester. On this one matter, Satan and the Lord are in agreement.”
Horns is not fast paced like Heart-Shaped Box but it feels more substantial, more allegorical and meaningful. The origin of the supernatural element is not explained, I imagine as it is not the point of the story. The book is generally a pleasure to read though there is one chapter where the narrative switches to the villain’s point of view that I feel is longer than it needs to be. Incidentally, the villain I speak of is not the devil; I wonder if the story is somehow inspired by The Rolling Stones’ Sympathy For The Devil.
There is also a long section of flashback with no supernatural element that reads like a dark coming of age story that features young love, friendship, romance, and bromance. I do not think Horns is a horror novel as none of it is scary to me, there are some disturbing images but nothing that puts me off my lunch. The characterization is quite well done though it seems unrealistic that nobody gives the protagonist the benefit of the doubt for the heinous crime he is accused of. I enjoy the thematic exploration of religion and religiosity, love and revenge, good and evil which makes the novel richer than I expected.
I read a lot of Anne Rice in the 80s, both her Vampire Chronicles and her Mayfair Witches series. I always find her very readable and there is alwaysI read a lot of Anne Rice in the 80s, both her Vampire Chronicles and her Mayfair Witches series. I always find her very readable and there is always some dark beauty in her prose. However, like most series the quality tend to drop off after three or four volumes, the authors either begin to repeat themselves or try something radically different or experimental which does not work. As far as The Vampire Chronicles is concerned I think Ms. Rice has done a bit of both, and I lost interest after the fifth volume Memnoch the Devil.
Most readers of The Vampire Chronicles agree that the first three books of the series are the best. I would go as far as to say that these are the best vampire fiction I have ever read. Bram Stoker has nothing on Anne Rice as far as literary talent is concerned. Stephenie Meyer does not even deserve to be mentioned in the same breath.
OK, enough useless preamble. I reread The Queen of the Damned as part of my Halloween horror binge. I have long neglected the horror genre in favor of sci-fi, fantasy and even mainstream fiction. It never occurred to me to reread the first two Vampire Chronicles books Interview with the Vampire and The Vampire Lestat because I still remember the stories very well even decades after reading them (the Tom Cruise movie adaptation is even more fresh in my memory). The Queen of the Damned however, is only remembered in term of broad plot outline, and I the denouement totally escaped me. I think this is because there is so much in this book. It is more epic is scale and more complex in structure and characterization.
In the previous book The Vampire Lestat Lestat, the rebellious star of the Chronicles has become a rock star with hit albums (I think he made some kind of hair metal with weird lyrics). His vampiric brand of metal mayhem has the unfortunate effect of waking up Akasha the original vampire, with megalomaniac tendencies. Soon she is dispatching young (or crappy) vampires left and right with her mental powers and human males in general are on her (s)hit list. Who can stop the most powerful vampire ever? I won’t spoil it for you, but it is probably not whoever it is you are thinking of.
There are long flashback chapters where the narrative is set in ancient Egyptian time where the human queen Akasha is turned into the first vampire almost by accident. This part of the tale involves good and evil spirits, cannibalism and curses, it really is quite riveting. The sections set in the modern world is almost as exciting, Anne Rice’s world building and vampire mythos is some of the most vivid fantastical creation ever. I particularly like the Talamasca, the secret society for investigation of the paranormal where Fox Mulder would feel right at home.
Anne Rice’s prose always go down well with me, I particularly like her description of the elation and shame of vampire feeding:
“When they drank the blood they felt ecstasy. Never had they known such pleasure, not in their beds, not at the banquet table, not when drunk with beer or wine. That was the source of the shame. It hadn't been the killing; it had been the monstrous feeding. It had been the pleasure.”
Her descriptions of characters are always quite vivid:
“Her skin was white and hard and opaque as it had always been. Her cheek shone like pearl as she smiled, her dark eyes moist and enlivened as the flesh puckered ever so slightly around them. They positively glistered with vitality.”
The Queen of the Damned is definitely worth rereading if you have read it ages ago like I have, of course if you have not read it before it is even more of an imperative though I would recommend reading the previous two books in the chronicles first. This should not be much of a hardship as they are seriously gripping reads. That said if you were to read it as a standalone I think it would still be quite understandable.
Joe Hill, definitely “a chip off the old block”, the old block being mega-author Stephen King of course. From what I have read Hill tried his best toJoe Hill, definitely “a chip off the old block”, the old block being mega-author Stephen King of course. From what I have read Hill tried his best to keep his relationship with Stephen King a secret and forge his own career as an author. Happily he became a successful author before the identity of his Dad was publicly disclosed by Variety magazine. Heart-Shaped Box is his first novel, as of now I think he has four to his name, excluding comics and anthologies.
Basically Heart-Shaped Box is a story of a vengeful ghost, but there is a lot more to the story than that. The setup is quite original, the protagonist is a rock star who likes to collect weird macabre things, one day he buys a ghost off an eBay-like online shopping website. The ghost is bought in the form of an item that belongs to the dead man, in this case a suit that comes in a heart-shaped box; much grief ensues. It probably is not much of a spoiler to tell you that the suit is more important than the eponymous heart-shaped box, the box just becomes a creepy motif after it and similarly shaped boxes are mentioned a few times.
The less I elaborate about the plot the better I think, as the story takes many unexpected twists and turns and Hill’s conception of what a ghost can do is quite original and disturbing. I enjoy scary horror novels, but most such novels are like hamburgers, easily consumed with some pleasure but not very memorable. For a horror novel to be memorable it has to transcend just being scary, it has to have characters worth caring about. This is why Stephen King’s best books are head and shoulders above the majority of horror fiction, he writes characters the reader cares about. I imagine Hill learned this lesson well from his father. His protagonist Jude is a flawed individual with a lot of issues but is a good man underneath all the rock star callousness. His girlfriend and the secondary character is equally damaged in her own way (not to mention very potty mouthed) but when push comes to shove really rises to the occasion. I actually worry about these characters and that is the highest accolade I can give to a work of fiction. Even Jude’s dogs are endowed with personalities and heroic qualities. The author’s fondness for dogs is obvious and it is something I can really identify with. The sense of compassion in the book also makes it much more meaningful than the average horror novel.
Hill’s prose style in this book is straightforward and without frills or literary flourishes, what little humor that can be found within the book are mostly through the dialogue. The narrative moves at a breakneck pace and I gobbled then entire book up in just a few days, much more quickly than I normally read. Personally I am hoping to see more finesse in the prose style in his subsequent books but I have no doubt at all that I will be reading them; all of them. It is October 26 as I write and I can heartily recommend Heart-Shaped Box for your Halloween read. If you are reading this in February or whatever, I’d still recommend it for a few hours of excellent and creepy escapism....more
It’s almost Halloween as I write so I’m in the mood for some creepy read. If you are ever in the mood for horror fiction and you have never read anythIt’s almost Halloween as I write so I’m in the mood for some creepy read. If you are ever in the mood for horror fiction and you have never read anything by James Herbert you have been outrageously remiss. In the 70s and 80s James Herbert was King, practically Stephen King as teens and horror fans were reading his books all over the place (in the UK where I was residing any way I have no idea about Herbertism in other countries). His most widely known book The Rats was published in 1974 it was a barnstorming debut, an ultra-violent, graphic and horrific little novel about mutant rats. His second novel The Fog was even worse (or better, depends on how you look at it). He was 31 at the time. The Secret Of Crickley Hall was published in 2006 when Herbert was 63, I would say age has mellowed him over the years. That said, “Crickley” still pretty damn gruesome in places and not for the faint of heart. However, in addition to the Herbertian patented ew! factor this book is also quite compassionate, poignant and even sentimental. A lot of care and attention has been put into developing the characters.
This is basically a haunted house story, not a first from Mr. Herbert (see Haunted. All the haunted house tropes are in place; a nice family (with cute kids and a dog) move into a spooky old house with a dark history, things soon start to go bump in the night. The wife is open to the idea of supernatural phenomena, but the husband is extremely skeptical, soon a psychic and even a paranormal investigator show up.
The book is saved from becoming pointlessly predictable by the characterization, the gradually unfolding backstory of the eponymous house and Herbert’s sheer storytelling skills. I haven't read anything by him for years; I have forgotten how good he was at grabbing your attention and never letting go. However, the backstory of the house does involve some scenes of extreme cruelty to children so if you are easily offended by such scenes this book is seriously not for you. Even so, the theme of children’s basic right to love, comfort and protection is evident and even highlighted by the harrowing details of their ordeal. I don’t think the author’s intention is to titillate, not something that can be said about the violent scenes in The Rats. If I have a complaint it would be the characterization of Gabe the skeptical husband whose extreme skepticism in the face of extremely weird occurrences make him seem like an imbecile of the first water. The way he relentlessly rationalizes the unrationalizable makes me want to improve his outlook with a frying pan.
The supernatural events in the story are vividly depicted and very creepy, as you would expect from an author who has been writing such material for decades. Neil Gaiman said this of James Herbert: “His first book was a bestseller, which is something that happens to very few writers. He had to do all his growing up in public. He had to learn to write in public.”. His growth as a writer over the decades of his career has been tremendous. His prose is highly readable, often witty without ever becoming clumsy; it makes for a very smooth reading experience.
Sadly James Herbert passed away a few months ago (March 2013), so this review is intended to be something of a tribute. Thanks to his prolificacy while I have read many books by him there are still many that I have yet to read.
R.I.P. Mr. Herbert, you were the best.
Note:The Secret Of Crickley Hall was adapted by the BBC and broadcasted in 2012. Not as good as the book but pretty good!...more
I almost gave up vampire fiction in the wake of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer wrote the novel to pander to a certain demographic without any familiarity oI almost gave up vampire fiction in the wake of Twilight. Stephenie Meyer wrote the novel to pander to a certain demographic without any familiarity or respect for classic vampire fiction of the past century. Unfortunately, the Twilight saga is very commercially successful and spawned many imitators, lame wishy washy vampire books, and the entire “paranormal romance” subgenre (￢_￢;). I don't know if good "proper" vampire fiction is still being written these days, but the great ones are still around and are well worth checking out if you are a horror fan. From Bram Stoker’s Dracula to King’s Salem’s Lot, Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, Richard Matheson's I Am Legend and several others. This book, Fevre Dream is also one of the greats.
George R.R. Martin is, of course, best known for Game of Thrones (“A Song of Ice and Fire” series) but prior to that runaway success he has written several excellent sci-fi stories and novels. Fevre Dream was published in 1982, I read it at some point in the 80s and it has stayed with me to this day. The story is set in 1857 when steamboats dominated trade on the Mississippi River. Captain Abner Marsh forms a partnership with a mysterious stranger named Joshua York whose offer to build the captain’s dream boat to co-own as a business partner. It transpires that York is a vampire who is also something of a visionary or even messiah among his kind. His life mission is to redeem the vampire race and bring about peaceful co-existence with mankind, using a steamboat as his long distance transportation of choice to facilitate his plans. Not an easy task because humans provide the basic sustenance for vampires, and are generally referred to as “cattle” among them. Worse still there is a master vampire called Damon Julian who lives on a plantation with his human and vampire underlings in New Orleans. Julian is something of a traditionalist and views vampires as the master race and humans as cattle. When the two mega vamps meet a very bloody struggle for supremacy begins.
All this and lots of steamboating! Fevre Dream is a gripping and thrilling read, especially in the second half of the book where the pages just fly by. The type of vampirism presented here is what I call “sci-fi vampires”, similar to Octavia Butler’s Fledgling and Richard Matheson’s classic I Am Legend. Vampires in this book are simply a different species from humans, it is not possible to convert from one race to the other; garlic, crucifix, holy water etc. have no effect on them. Sunlight is still deadly to them, though.
Besides being a first race horror thriller Fevre Dream also partly a slave narrative, where the slaves are treated cruelly by both humans and vampires. The relations between human and the vampire race are also something of an allegory for slavery and exploitation. The main characters are very well developed, vivid and unforgettable. Interestingly both the good and the evil vampire has a human sidekick to help out with the daytime practical affairs and business. Martin makes an interesting contrast between a friendly partnership and a master and servant relationship built upon deception and false promises.
The prose style is based on the point of view of the human sidekicks from the good and the evil side. As such it is written mostly in simple colloquial style. The unlikely friendship between Captain March and Joshua York is quite touching and forms the moral bedrock of the entire book. The climax is really quite spectacular and unforgettable.
If you are in the mood for some fast-paced horror and have not been put off vampire fiction by Twilight this book is highly recommended.
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Quotes: “Cynthia embraced him by the alley, and gave him a lingering wet kiss. He thrashed and struggled but could not break free of her embrace. Her pale hands brushed the back of his neck, and long nails sharp and thin as razors slid across his veins. Her mouth and tongue swallowed his scream.”
“The night is beautiful, and we can hope to find peace and nobility in its dark splendor as well. Too many men fear the dark unreasoningly.”
“Within the hour I was out on the streets. I found an alley, waited. A young woman was the first to pass. Part of me admired her beauty; it burned in me like a flame. Another part simply hungered. I almost tore her head off, but at least it was over quickly. Afterward I wept.”
“that roast you so enjoyed was once part of a living animal. Do you suppose that, if that beast could talk, he would consent to being eaten?”...more
(RIP) favorite author*. Still, the stories in this collection are mostly great if you can get through “the language barrier”. Certainly for Halloween you would be hard pressed to find a better anthology. 
A story of revenge for unknown offences. Whathisname lures his friendenemy to his creepy wine cellar with the promise of a cask of vintage Amontillado.
in the first few chapters of the book I find him quite affable and generally very polite (bad taste in music notwithstanding). I cannot help but find Jonathan Harker a bit of an idiot. Especially in the scene when he is shaving with the aid of a mirror, Drac comes barging in and he notices the old vamp’s lack of a reflection; then Drac rudely throws his mirror out the window and later Jonathan writes this in his journal:
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