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When I'm Gone

by Emily Bleeker (Goodreads Author)

3.93 · Rating Details · 28,783 Ratings · 1,445 Reviews

Dear Luke,First let me say—I love you... I didn’t want to leave you...

Luke Richardson has returned home after burying Natalie, his beloved wife of sixteen years, ready to face the hard job of raising their three children alone. But there’s something he’s not prepared for—a blue envelope with his name scrawled across the front in Natalie’s handwriting, waiting for him on

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Kindle Edition, 366 pages

Published March 15th 2016 by Lake Union Publishing (first published March 8th 2016)

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My Fair Gentleman by Nancy Campbell Allen

Whitney Award Eligible Titles - 2016

336 books — 129 voters

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Mar 14, 2016 Megan Johnson rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Recommends it for: those who love mysteries but want something with more emotion

Shelves: publisher-sent

Emily Bleeker's new novel, 'When I'm Gone,' is about Natalie Richardson. But the thing is, Natalie is dead. But through letters and secrets slowly being uncovered, she's continuing to control the way her husband and those that she left behind are able to live. Yes, they loved Natalie dearly, but this new information is making it hard to believe that Natalie was the person that they all felt they knew.

What would you do if you started to receive letters from someone who had recently passed away? Emily Bleeker's new novel, 'When I'm Gone,' is about Natalie Richardson. But the thing is, Natalie is dead. But through letters and secrets slowly being uncovered, she's continuing to control the way her husband and those that she left behind are able to live. Yes, they loved Natalie dearly, but this new information is making it hard to believe that Natalie was the person that they all felt they knew.

What would you do if you started to receive letters from someone who had recently passed away? Would you be freaked out? Would you relish in this continuation of their presence? Would you follow the instructions for you that they had laid out when they were still here? These are the things that Luke Richardson is faced with. And on top of that, he has to figure out how to be a single dad to 3 children. He misses his wife, but when does he reach the point in time where he just lets her go?

'When I'm Gone,' is one of those books that's so well written and engaging that you start to read it and suddenly you're 200+ pages in. I finished it in less than two days, and I actually felt like I had hardly spent any time with it. That goes to say, this one is just that good. It's got a mystery feel, but don't be surprised when you shed a tear or two. I also thoroughly enjoyed the fact that I didn't always know whether to like the characters a lot. I'm all for a dynamic character, but these took it to the next level. I loved them one moment, hated them the next, and was back to rooting for them again before the next chapter.

Trust me on this one, it's an emotional ride but one that is very well worth it.

What did I think?: This isn't a book that's like a lot of things I read. I'm normally attracted to mysteries, but this wasn't a flat out mystery. And the twists were a total surprise which was so much fun. It was happy, sad, angering...everything that makes a book just that much better.

Who should read it?: I think this is better answered by saying that if you've just lost someone close to you, it's probably best to skip over this one as it might hit a bit too close to home. But if you love mysteries, but are looking for something a little deeper that pulls on those heart strings a bit more than most, you'll probably be glad you gave this book a chance.

*I was provided a copy of this book in exchange for this honest review

WEBSITE | TWITTER | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM ...more

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Nov 21, 2016 Candace rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: tearjerkers, childhood-loves, listened-to-audio-version, forbidden-romance, sweet-heart-warming-stories, kindle-unlimited

I picked up this audiobook with my Kindle Unlimited subscription. This is the second book that I've read by this author and I have to say that I enjoyed this book quite a bit. As expected, it was a very sentimental read. However, it wasn't the depressing tearjerker that I had imagined it would be.

Luke Richardson has just buried his wife, Natalie. He is now a single father, trying his best to hold it all together when he really just wants to curl into a ball and hide. His pain was palpable.

Natali I picked up this audiobook with my Kindle Unlimited subscription. This is the second book that I've read by this author and I have to say that I enjoyed this book quite a bit. As expected, it was a very sentimental read. However, it wasn't the depressing tearjerker that I had imagined it would be.

Luke Richardson has just buried his wife, Natalie. He is now a single father, trying his best to hold it all together when he really just wants to curl into a ball and hide. His pain was palpable.

Natalie was the focal-point of his life and the glue that held everything together. Even in death, she manages to keep Luke and her family on track. She's written letters, each to be delivered on specific dates, offering guidance and encouragement to Luke.

At first, the letters serve as the push that Luke needs to keep going through the motions. However, as time passes, the letters become both a blessing and a curse. He can't let go if he's hanging on to his past.

Over the course of the book, it becomes clear that Natalie had some pretty big secrets of her own. Little by little the truth comes out, causing Luke to question everything he thought he knew about the woman he loved. Appearances can be deceiving and everything was not as it seemed on the surface.

Meanwhile, Luke's relationship with Natalie's best friend, Annie, takes on a life of it's own. What was first friendship and support between two grieving individuals, soon becomes more. Yet, Annie's life is not without it's own set of complications.

Although this was a sentimental story with some emotional moments, it felt mostly like a mystery novel. I wouldn't say that it felt suspenseful, but it certainly kept you wondering exactly what Natalie had been up to. As much as I enjoyed the love story, this one was all about figuring out Natalie's secret for me.

All in all, I thought this was a great story. I listened to the Audible version and the narration was good. It is a standalone and won't leave you with any lingering questions. If you're looking for a nice, sweet, story with a big mystery, this is a wonderful choice.

See more of my reviews at www.bookaddicthaven.com

...more

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Jan 29, 2016 Elyse rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley

"Are you afraid of death, or are you afraid of leaving your family?"
......the above sentence brought tears to my eyes ...( I took in the magnitude of the question).

Enjoyed it!
Took value from it
Plan to explore a few questions for myself
I didn't give a rats ass if the writing had a few flaws ( hell, so does life)...overall...
I found the entire premises intriguing....
I liked the characters that I got to hang out with...

I looked inward. My very close friend Barbara, died of Cancer, 26 years ago. M ...more

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Dec 02, 2016 Melissa rated it liked it

Shelves: emotional, womens-fiction, horrible-ending, 2016, audio

I stumbled across this book on audible and the synopsis reminded me of one of my favorite movies of all time - P.S. I Love You; so of course, I couldn’t resist. Aside from the similarity of the letters, both from spouses that passed, this is an entirely different story. It's sad and told in a contemplative tone, but somehow still manages to be quite melodramatic in parts.

Luke just lost his wife, Natalie, to cancer and he has to find a way to keep it together for their kids. It’s the surprise ar I stumbled across this book on audible and the synopsis reminded me of one of my favorite movies of all time - P.S. I Love You; so of course, I couldn’t resist. Aside from the similarity of the letters, both from spouses that passed, this is an entirely different story. It's sad and told in a contemplative tone, but somehow still manages to be quite melodramatic in parts.

Luke just lost his wife, Natalie, to cancer and he has to find a way to keep it together for their kids. It’s the surprise arrival of handwritten letters from his dead wife, composed over the course of her cancer treatments, that provide him the most support initially. Natalie uses the letters to fess up about her struggles with treatment, her imminent death, nudges him to engage the kids, reminisces about their relationship and pushes him to move on and live his life without her.

I can’t hide the fact that I had some issues with this story. I was pretty confident early on that I knew exactly where the story was headed and it turns out, I was right. I will say that the author tried really hard to throw in things to hide the predictability of the plot. Granted it was drama filled and felt like overkill by the ending, but it did what she set out to do. Or at least what I assume she was trying to do - it distracted the reader from the obviousness of it all. Why did it take Luke so long to figure it out? Is it just that guys tend to miss the details?

My biggest gripe - (view spoiler)

What at first came off as a heartfelt story about life after losing someone morphed into something entirely different by the end. I felt kind of duped in regards to Natalie and Luke’s relationship. Why hide the truth for so long? Why not just fess up when you know your days are numbered? Did the author purposely taint them both? Was it all in an attempt to lend some credibility to their relationship, to reiterate that nothing in life is perfect? I'm not sure. What I am sure of - my feelings are mixed, landing me at a 3 star rating. ...more

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Mar 16, 2016 Esil rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley

Last year I read Wreckage by Emily Bleeker, which I quite liked, so I was willing to give When I'm Gone a try. I can get into the occasional sentimental book, but this one was a mixed bag for me. At the beginning of the book, Luke's wife Nathalie dies of cancer, leaving him with three children and a few secrets to uncover. Nathalie had arranged for her best friend Annie to check in on Luke, for 21 year old Jessie to help with the kids, and for letters to arrive on a regular basis with various me ...more

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Dec 26, 2016 ashley rated it did not like it

Shelves: hated, 2016, worst-books-i-have-ever-read

I am shocked by the positive reviews this book has. It should have been a lifetime movie. I feel dumber having read this trite and tired exploration of grief and relationships. Easily the worst book I have read in many years. This is what I get for choosing a book based on the cover.

Skip this one, friends. It's terrible.

Dear Luke,
I should have stopped reading this book when I realized the characters weren't fully developed, and the plot belonged on Lifetime television, and not even as one of ...more

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Apr 30, 2016 Sue1958 rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: suspense-mystery-crime, net-galley, womens-fiction, family-drama-marriage-relationships, contemporary-adult

This book is one I have not only read but digested.
Its emotional, its intriguing, its kind of concerning.

Emotional because Luke had to bury his young wife who suffered cancer and didn't win.
Leaving behind three children for him to bring up.
His sadness along with helping his children is an everyday struggle that Annie [his wife's friend] helps him with.

But then comes a letter through his letterbox, its a letter from his dead wife.

I began to think she had got someone to post this after her death. ...more

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Apr 06, 2016 Taryn rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: romantic-love, mystery, womens_fiction, received-from-publisher, grief, marital-secrets, family, netgalley

Melodramatic at parts, but it has a lot of heart. It is a story about a family working through grief, centered around a mystery. I had a hard time putting it down!

Natalie Richardson passed away after a year-long battle with cancer and her husband Luke is now faced with the daunting task of raising their three children alone while they all deal with immense grief. When Luke returns home from her funeral, there is a letter on the floor…from Natalie! It was written on the first day of her cancer tr Melodramatic at parts, but it has a lot of heart. It is a story about a family working through grief, centered around a mystery. I had a hard time putting it down!

Natalie Richardson passed away after a year-long battle with cancer and her husband Luke is now faced with the daunting task of raising their three children alone while they all deal with immense grief. When Luke returns home from her funeral, there is a letter on the floor…from Natalie! It was written on the first day of her cancer treatment. The letters keep coming throughout the year and become a great source of comfort for Luke. But as time goes on, the contents of the letters and the mystery of who is sending them make Luke question the entire life he and Natalie built together.

It always amazed him how something that is broken on the inside can look so perfect on the outside..

I chose this book from the 'Read Now' section at NetGalley. When I was in high school, one of my parents had cancer. (They are okay now!) Years later, I discovered a set of letters that had been written during their illness and were addressed to me and my three siblings. I did not read them because it felt too intrusive. They would have been too difficult to read even if I were feeling especially nosy! That experience made me interested in the concept behind this book.

First sentence: It was a beautiful funeral. How could it not be? Natalie planned the whole thing, and she always had a knack for entertaining.

This book had me from the opening line! I adored the Richardson family and they were written so authentically. Luke's grief felt real. He struggles with the bitterness of losing his soulmate so young and he doesn't know how he will ever move forward. He doesn't believe in an afterlife and that makes for some interesting conversations because he is unable to provide the kind of comfort that he knows everyone around him needs. Natalie's letters to Luke are so heartbreaking, especially the ones dealing with her hopes and fears after her diagnosis. Even though we only get to know Natalie through her letters and those she left behind, I got a full sense of her as a person.

The story did go from a standard grief story to full out DRAMA in the last 15%. Everyone had a dramatic problem that was revealed in a very dramatic way. This is not a complaint! It was all very juicy and I couldn't stop turning the pages. The part of me that loved soap operas and Lifetime movies couldn't get enough of it!

Part of the heaviness holding him down came from all the reminders of Natalie. Yet that ache wasn’t as profound as he’d feared it would be, almost as though he was adjusting to the pain, like when your eyes adapt in a darkened room. Underneath this understandable sadness was a simmering anger.

I do have a personal bias against stories where the dead spouse's best friend and widower develop feelings for each other and/or where the dead spouse orchestrates their partner's romantic future. It creeps me out and I probably wouldn't have picked this book if that had been mentioned in the summary! I was far more interested in the mystery behind the letters than the growing romantic tension between Luke and Natalie's best friend Annie, no matter how much the children viewed her as a second mom. (#TeamFelicity! ;) ). A relationship between them felt weird, especially with how codependent they were with dead Natalie. (view spoiler)

It was like his world was swirling around one spot lately, and he wasn’t sure if it was the gentle tug of gravity or the dangerous currents of a whirlpool. The only thing he was sure of was who was at the center of that spiral..

I feel like a terrible person saying this, even about a fictional character, but I wasn't a huge fan of Natalie. She is Type A to an extreme! My opinion of her started to turn during the incident at the college. The women's treatment of Natalie was absolutely despicable, but Natalie's controlling and moralistic behavior that preceded the incident made me view her differently. Suddenly, her hold over all the adults in the story seemed a tad over-the-top and a bit crazy. Doling out suspense to her mourning husband via strategically scheduled letters seemed unnecessarily cruel.

This is a little nit-picky, but I get distracted by overly specific outfit descriptions. ("dressed up in a black pantsuit with a dark-blue silk blouse that matched the water in Lake Michigan.) This story isn't written in first-person but it is very much from Luke's perspective and I didn't believe those details would be important to him. The outfit descriptions were especially noticeable when Annie or Jessie, the nanny hand-picked by Natalie, entered a scene. I did think it was adorable when Jessie's love of Broadway was revealed in ways other than clothing choice, such as singing with the middle Richardson child while doing chores.

Then Luke found himself saying the sentence he’d heard more times than he could count. Perhaps the least helpful sentence he’d ever heard. “If there is anything I can do to help, please, let me know.” When Natalie’s school acquaintances or the administrative assistant at work said those words, they always sounded empty, like a halfhearted attempt to care. Now he knew—it’s what you say when there’s nothing you can do to help besides want to.

This book was just the kind of juicy page-turner I needed at the time. I raced through this book, so I really enjoyed Bleeker's storytelling ability! I especially enjoyed the parts dealing with grief, the cancer diagnosis and Natalie's secret. If you liked A Small Indiscretion or The Day We Met, you will probably like this book. The stories are different, but they all have a similar 'feel.'

"It’s the end that marks a beginning, not the first day.”

...more

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Jan 21, 2016 Larry Hoffer rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley

I'd rate this 3.5 stars.

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review. Many thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for making it available.

How well do we really know the people we love, those we've built a life with?

If you ask Luke that question about his wife, Natalie, he'd say he knows her better than everyone. They dated in high school before he had to move away, and once they found each other again in college, they seemed de ...more

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Mar 22, 2016 Krista rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Good god, the only thing missing in this book was a natural disaster.

I didn't enjoy it much. Too much on the go. Too many coincidences. Too much flowery writing.

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Dec 24, 2015 Catherine McKenzie rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I was lucky enough to read an advance reader's copy of this book. I loved Emily's first book, WRECKAGE, and this book was great too. Emily has an ability to unwind a mystery like a coil so that you're always guessing what's going to happen. In WHEN I'M GONE, she does this inside what could otherwise be a familiar plot: a woman's untimely death brings certain secrets to life. Her twist is that the departed wife is actually stage managing what gets revealed and when, and the final twist will leave ...more

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Mar 02, 2016 CL rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Luke and Natalie date in high school, go their separate ways and reconnect in college, getting married with a family and the rest of their lives ahead of them, that is until Natalie’s cancer diagnosis. After burying his wife, Luke Richardson returns home, to find a letter with his name written in wife’s familiar handwriting waiting for him. As he prepares to begin raising their 3 children on his own his wife’s letter is the first of many that keep showing up and they become an obsession with him ...more

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Mar 15, 2016 Judy Collins rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, womens-fiction, netgalley-arc, 2016-releases, books-read-in-2016

A special thank you to Lake Union Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Emily Bleeker returns following her debut, Wreckage with another bittersweet story WHEN I'M GONE, domestic suspense; human emotions, family, and secrets between a husband and wife.

As the book opens Luke Richardson is returning to his suburban Michigan home, with his children after Natalie’s funeral. Cancer. They have been married for sixteen years and now he is faced with raising the three ...more

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Aug 15, 2016 'Q' aka CoCo added it

I read this because it was chosen as the book of the month for my neighborhood's new book club. (I know, I know... Pick your jaws up off the floor, CySisters; my hermit ass joined a book club). I'm not rating it because it's not my usual genre and it's not something I ever would have picked to read of my own accord.
This was a Lifetime movie waiting to happen. Luke loses his wife, Natalie, after a long battle with cancer, and he's left to raise his three children on his own. Natalie arranged for I read this because it was chosen as the book of the month for my neighborhood's new book club. (I know, I know... Pick your jaws up off the floor, CySisters; my hermit ass joined a book club). I'm not rating it because it's not my usual genre and it's not something I ever would have picked to read of my own accord.
This was a Lifetime movie waiting to happen. Luke loses his wife, Natalie, after a long battle with cancer, and he's left to raise his three children on his own. Natalie arranged for Luke to receive letters after her death in no particular pattern. Sometimes she just talks, sometimes she asks favors--do something for the kids, go out on a date because she wants him to find love again, etc--and sometimes she talks about this "secret" she has.
This "secret" is a long, drawn out mess. Meanwhile, there are a ton of subplots. (view spoiler)
There's just too much going on. What started off as kind of sweet--a wife leaving her last goodbyes, hoping to help her husband through the grieving process--turned into taunting him with tiny clues about this "secret" that was tearing him apart.
It's not really miscommunication as a plot device because, well, she's dead and he can't really ask her. It's damn close though. And my aggravation reached a breaking point when he received yet another letter and after waiting a full day (because he was too angry to read it at first), he sat down to read it, got through the first three pages, and... "There was a whole other page of writing, but Luke put the letter down. He wouldn't read any further." At this point, it IS drawing it out, and it's too much.
It's a well written book, but there are so many coincidences, and I think there are just too many things going on. ...more

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Aug 14, 2016 Lynn Mccarthy rated it really liked it

Shelves: reviewed-for-netgalley

Luck Richardson lost his wife to cancer and now has to care for his 3 children on his own.
On the day of the funeral he finds a letter on his front mat from his wife which she wrote during her illness telling him how to look after the children and how mush she loved him from then he starts to get a letter once a day.As the letters keep arriving Luke begins to wonder if he knew his wife as he thought he did as secrets are told.
The ending of the story was very good.

Thanks to Netgalley the Author an ...more

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Apr 28, 2016 Jeff rated it it was ok

More of a Lifetime movie than a novel. I kind of hate myself for finishing it.

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Feb 11, 2016 Rain rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-english, netgalley, fa

When I'm Gone follows Luke, returning from his wife's funeral to an empty house, finding himself alone without the woman he shared his life with for sixteen years and with the task of raising their three young children. Soon after, blue envelopes with letters handwritten by his wife, Natalie, start showing up at his house with no indication of who's sending them. She started writing them on the first day of her cancer treatment a year ago and in them she reveals aspects of her life that Luke was ...more

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Mar 31, 2016 Siv30 rated it it was ok · review of another edition

2.5 כוכבים.
מסוג הספרים שמזלזלים באינטיליגנציה של הקוראים בצורה כל כך עמוקה ומזעזעת שזה אפילו לא מצחיק.
אזהרת ספויילרים חמורה שימו לב!
לוק חוזר מהלווית אישתו נטלי, אהובת נעוריו, לחיים שבהם עליו להתמודד עם חמתו שחמתה בוערת עליו מסיבה לא ידועה וגידול 3 ילדים שהקטן בהם בן 3. לא די בזה, מתחילים להופיע מכתבים מאישתו המתה שבהם היא מנהלת אותו ואת חיו מהקבר.
לוק מגלה שלאישתו היה סוד אותו שמרה מפניו. סוד אפל וללא קצה חוט לוק מתחיל בחיפוש אחר קצוות שיקשרו ויפענחו את החשדות בהם הוא מתחיל לשקוע. ולא די בכך, לוק 2.5 כוכבים.
מסוג הספרים שמזלזלים באינטיליגנציה של הקוראים בצורה כל כך עמוקה ומזעזעת שזה אפילו לא מצחיק.
אזהרת ספויילרים חמורה שימו לב!
לוק חוזר מהלווית אישתו נטלי, אהובת נעוריו, לחיים שבהם עליו להתמודד עם חמתו שחמתה בוערת עליו מסיבה לא ידועה וגידול 3 ילדים שהקטן בהם בן 3. לא די בזה, מתחילים להופיע מכתבים מאישתו המתה שבהם היא מנהלת אותו ואת חיו מהקבר.
לוק מגלה שלאישתו היה סוד אותו שמרה מפניו. סוד אפל וללא קצה חוט לוק מתחיל בחיפוש אחר קצוות שיקשרו ויפענחו את החשדות בהם הוא מתחיל לשקוע. ולא די בכך, לוק מגלה שאנני, חברתה הטובה של אישתו, היא אישה מוכה שבעלה השוטר בראיין מכה אותה ומתעלל בה. ולא די בכך, בראיין אלכוהליסט ומכור לסמים.
עד כאן הייתי מוכנה לסבול ואז בראיין מעליל על לוק כנקמה על כך שלא המליץ עליו לעבודה. עוצרים את לוק והוא מבלה לילה במאסר בחשד לאחזקה ורצון להפיץ סמים.
כל זה מחמיר כשלוק מגלה שיש לו בת אובדת שאישתו מסרה לאימוץ והבת הזו עברה התעללות במשפחה המאמצת שלה.
פשוט מדאיג לחשוב שהקוראים כאן נתנו לספר המצ'וקמק הזה יותר מ 4 כוכבים. עלילה הזויה, מופרכת ומטופשת שהטוויסטים המפגרים הופכים אותה להזויה ולמטופשת יותר. גם אם הטכניקה של הכתיבה טובה, הנרטיב כל כך ירוד ולוחץ בכח על כל בלוטות הרגש של הקורא, שבשלב מסויים הרגשתי אדישות. ...more

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Sep 12, 2016 Adrienne rated it did not like it

Shelves: not-finishing

I purchased this book on Deal of the Day on Audible for $3.95 and want my money back. I only made it about 30 minutes in before I started throwing up in my mouth. I sat down to read some reviews and this one might be the best ever:

More of a Lifetime movie than a novel. I kind of hate myself for finishing it.

I saw more reviews mention this should be a Lifetime movie and that someone has already done this - P.S. I Love You.

I can't take cheesy love. I was really hoping someone murdered someone or h ...more

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May 25, 2016 Cindy rated it liked it

Shelves: 2016-new-books, cliche-read, m-e-h

I was a little distracted reading this book and that my have impacted my rating a little. While the book is interesting, I found the read a little cliched and over dramatic at times. Some parts were not necessary to the book and in the end, everything was tied up in this really nice fancy, happy ending bow. Not that I have a problem with happy endings- it was just a little bit too happy/cliche for me.

Other than that, the writing was really good, the characters were easy to digest and so was the ...more

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Dec 14, 2016 Michael rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorite-books, kindle

Luke is a broken and fragile with the loss of his dear wife, Natalie. Natalie was the glue that held everything together, the voice of reason behind everything. Knowing that her presence is not visible, he is torn with how to raise three children by himself. Clayton, his youngest child has so much childhood innocence thinking that his mother will return soon. May has accepted her mother death, but Luke still can see glimpses of his deceased wife traits in her. Will has his mother complexion, dis Luke is a broken and fragile with the loss of his dear wife, Natalie. Natalie was the glue that held everything together, the voice of reason behind everything. Knowing that her presence is not visible, he is torn with how to raise three children by himself. Clayton, his youngest child has so much childhood innocence thinking that his mother will return soon. May has accepted her mother death, but Luke still can see glimpses of his deceased wife traits in her. Will has his mother complexion, distant from the family, Luke rarely has a bond with the son that he desires. Raised in a broken home, Luke considers himself a failure as a parent. Day by day he tries to be the superhero dad that his kids could look up to, instead of being reminded by insecurities of what a terrible father he is.

Natalie left behind a legacy that can only be triggered by the leftover letters. Upon stumbling on these letters, Luke learns more about his wife that he though that he will never know. The past is explored in this deeply moving novel about love and loyalty.

Honestly if I said anymore, I would give out spoilers. Back to the review, this honestly will go down in history as being my favorite book I read in my life. Not this year, Not this month but in my 25 years of living. The characterization was phenomenal: Luke was such a sensitive soul who I wanted to hug every time he felt insecure about his parenthood. I felt everything he was going through, his attachment to his kids was so touching and so vulnerable. Plenty of times I was on the verge of tears watching how he described his life. Natalie was another character that brought so much humor and passion to her personality. Emily Bleeker gift of characterization is something that I treasure, she has a canny way of making unlovable characters be so forgiving.

Best book this year? No best book I ever read in my life. My status updates does not even compare to what this book did to be emotionally.

Do yourself a favor and read this book and read it..NOW! ...more

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Mar 12, 2016 Michelle (Michelle's Book Ends) Shealy rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

"I feel pretty melodramatic writing you a letter to open on the day of my burial. According to Dr. Saunders I have a pretty decent chance of beating this thing, but you know me; I don't trust doctors. No harm in starting this journal, you know, just in case. I've always wanted to try my hand at writing; maybe this will be my first step toward finally writing the novel dancing around my brain for the past ten years. They say write what you know, right? Apparently I know cancer and we are not frie "I feel pretty melodramatic writing you a letter to open on the day of my burial. According to Dr. Saunders I have a pretty decent chance of beating this thing, but you know me; I don't trust doctors. No harm in starting this journal, you know, just in case. I've always wanted to try my hand at writing; maybe this will be my first step toward finally writing the novel dancing around my brain for the past ten years. They say write what you know, right? Apparently I know cancer and we are not friends."........

This bittersweet tale takes place in Farmington, Michigan. Luke and wife, Natalie, and their children; Nine year old May, Will, their 14 year old son, and three year old Clayton. The story begins on the day of Natalie's funeral . Later that day after returning home, he finds the first of what will be a series of letters from her. The thought of the letters coming gives him something to lean on, a little hope.

Her love for her family carries on after her death. Her words give him strength he needs until he can pick up the pieces of the new life he never wanted. Natalie left him a true gift. She is teaching her husband to help her family go on without her.

Where are the letters coming from though? They're arriving regularly in the mail. The pain of losing her is so hard on all of them. A heartbreaking story, but at the same time it's the story of a mother's love. Luke is living by the letters. Afraid not to and afraid to let go. He doesn't follow every detail exactly but he fears not having them or the day they stop. He brings the people who were important to Natalie into their lives trying to honor her wishes.

The twists come when Natalie's secrets come to light as the letters and life goes on. Slowly things are revealed. Tragic secrets and surprises come so quickly that I couldn't stop reading this story. Emotional, as a parent knowing you're going to die and leave the people you love. Suspenseful, while trying to figure out what secrets people close to them are keeping from Luke and the kids. A story of how a whole other life and world existed for someone you shared your life with. Will Natalie's letters lead Luke on a road to healing and moving on without her? Or will the secrets crush him?

Thank you Netgalley and Lake Union Publishing ...more

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Jun 26, 2016 Beth McCraw rated it liked it

3-3.5 stars.. I really enjoyed this up until the last 15% or so, and then it felt like it was a completely different book. I don't know really how it got like that, but it was just confusing at the end for me☹ ...more

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May 14, 2016 Clémence rated it it was amazing

Shelves: arc

ARC copy provided by the editor through NetGalley in exchange for a honest review.

The story:

When Luke’s wife dies of cancer after sixteen years of marriage, needless to say he is devastated, and definitely doesn’t feel ready to take care of their three children on his own. However, on the day of her burial, he comes back home to find a letter from her, and it seems she had everything planned to help him through it. She planned everything before she died, to help her husband get over everything a ARC copy provided by the editor through NetGalley in exchange for a honest review.

The story:

When Luke’s wife dies of cancer after sixteen years of marriage, needless to say he is devastated, and definitely doesn’t feel ready to take care of their three children on his own. However, on the day of her burial, he comes back home to find a letter from her, and it seems she had everything planned to help him through it. She planned everything before she died, to help her husband get over everything and get on with his life. But through the letters, Luke also discovers that his wife was most likely hiding something from him. Who is this mysterious Dr Neal she keeps mentioning? And why does their son think he was adopted?

With the help of Natalie’s best friend Annie, and their new baby-sitter Jessie, Luke slowly starts getting better, but he also becomes obsessed with those letters he keeps receiving. Natalie was hiding something from him, it becomes more obvious with each letter, and he can’t stand not to know why…

My opinion:

This book was amazing! It’s been a while since I last read a contemporary book like that, and oh boy, I wasn’t disappointed. I was originally planning on giving it four stars, but it had many plot twists and kept surprising me until the end, so I couldn’t not give it the five stars it deserved.

First, you have to know that it his a very moving book, that deals with sensible issues. When your wide has cancer, you know that she will most likely die soon. But that can’t prepare you for actually losing her. It can’t prepare you for all the pain, and all the new responsibilities that will fall upon yourself when you also have three children to take care of. From the oldest who thinks he was adopted, to the youngest who sleeps with his mom’s phone, and with the middle kid who starts wearing her mom’s clothes, that’s a lot to deal with.

Except Natalie, for the better or the worse, had everything planned out. In a way which is both disturbing and beautiful, she has planned letters for her husband. The letters help him deal with his loss and his kids. But they also destroy him from the inside and make him doubt pretty much everything he thought he knew about his wife, which was really sad and heartbreaking to read.

So what can I say about this story? It was really beautiful, and definitely worth my time. It’s full of suspense in the best possible way, and it’s a story that gives hope: yes, you can do it. You can get over your loss. Life will get better. And I just loves all the surprises this wonderful book had in store for me! (And I won’t say what even though I’m dying to do so, because I don’t want to spoil the book for you… I guess you’ll have to read it if you want to know about Luke’s and Natalie’s past, which we slowly discover through flashbacks and letters…)

What about the characters? The kids are absolutely relatable and adorable. They felt really realistic, which was a good point for this book. Luke was a really interesting character with an undying love for his dead wife, and a complicated past. I just wanted him to be well through the entire book. I wouldn’t say he was a relatable character, but it was definitely fascinating to read about his journey. As for Annie and Jessie, they were also amazing and adorable characters with their secrets – which again, I will let you discover because they play an important part in the plot. And Natalie, of course, because though she is dead, she plays an important part in the story. Well she is a strong lady with many secrets, and though I found it hard to understand her and her motives at first, she really grew on me as the story unfolded, and in the end, I found her totally amazing.

This book will probably make you smile and cry and hurt, but it’s definitely worth it. In the end, it’s full of hope, it’s beautiful and refreshing. Maybe it’s because it was different from what I usually read, but I found it absolutely wonderful!

Recommended for:

Romance and mystery lovers who don’t mind a sad beautiful tragic story. ...more

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Jul 20, 2016 Jay rated it did not like it

The first two words that come to mind are 1.) unbelievable and 2.) melodramatic... Let's add 3.) predictable.

I noticed another review mentioning 'heart' but unfortunately, When I'm Gone, lacks just that. While the summary was one that clearly made me want to read the book, the actual content was void of character development. The author describes certain things in painstaking detail (i.e. a mailbox & dirt road) while others that are far more significant, are glossed over. The end result is l The first two words that come to mind are 1.) unbelievable and 2.) melodramatic... Let's add 3.) predictable.

I noticed another review mentioning 'heart' but unfortunately, When I'm Gone, lacks just that. While the summary was one that clearly made me want to read the book, the actual content was void of character development. The author describes certain things in painstaking detail (i.e. a mailbox & dirt road) while others that are far more significant, are glossed over. The end result is like reading an outline: unfinished, easy to spot (not to mention ridiculous) plot twists, & a depth that is less than a plastic kiddie pool.

The death of a spouse is story enough, yet in all too many novels, authors seem apt to toss in convoluted plot devices that feel so phony, it's impossible to care about what's unfolding. The fact that I got to read a three year old speak far more than characters who could have added some actual value? That would be the hardened mess of inedible crumbs & frosting on the plate of a cake I never actually saw, much less got to eat.

SPOILER ALERT

A long lost daughter given up for adoption who is presumed kidnapped/dead, but hey, wait... Just kidding! The whole felony aspect, planting drugs, domestic abuse... The forced sense of intimacy in the marriage & the kids, who have seemingly no purpose—of three children, a 3 year old seems to have the most dialogue & it adds nothing to further the story... unless annoyance was the goal & I missed that part?—the story doesn't feel genuine to me. Even Natalie's letters are seemingly written by someone in high school. There's a lack of maturity & inauthenticity that's impossible to overlook.

END SPOILERS

I can see opportunities for multiple novels with a high quality, dedicated storyline. Unfortunately, all of these storylines ended up in one book & that's ultimately what ensures the downfall of the novel in its entirety. I continue to be rather stunned by the high reviews on this. Yeah, people are entitled to their opinions, but wow... really?!

I enjoy characters who feel so real, they could jump from the page & in to my living room. In this, all I discovered were unfinished, cardboard cutouts that fail to keep one engaged. I returned my copy. As a whole, I can't say I recommend it unless you can read for free via Kindle Unlimited. ...more

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Feb 27, 2016 Lauren rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2016-read

When Luke returns home after burying his wife of sixteen years, Natalie, after she passed away from cancer, he focuses on his three children and keeping a normal life for them. At the front door, he notices a blue envelope with Natalie's handwriting addressed to him. She has written him a letter, from more than a year ago, in the event that she doesn't survive. She reminds Luke that she loves him and didn't want to leave him. Luke clutches to this additional piece of his wife.

The letters keep When Luke returns home after burying his wife of sixteen years, Natalie, after she passed away from cancer, he focuses on his three children and keeping a normal life for them. At the front door, he notices a blue envelope with Natalie's handwriting addressed to him. She has written him a letter, from more than a year ago, in the event that she doesn't survive. She reminds Luke that she loves him and didn't want to leave him. Luke clutches to this additional piece of his wife.

The letters keep coming, and Natalie makes some requests. Make the kids pancakes, become friends with Natalie's best friend Annie, and hire a student from her university to look after the kids. Luke respects Natalie's wishes, but runs in to problems along the way. Annie's relationship with her husband is not good and the university student Jessie is also very sick. Luke has to confront his past and his relationship with Natalie when he realizes not everything was as it seemed.

Even though this isn't a thriller, it reads like one. There are a few twists throughout the book to keep you turning pages.

Luke is a pretty complex character and one I really enjoyed reading about. He's a good dad but not without his problems. His history is complex. At times I wondered why parts of Luke's history were being re-hashed. I think they required a bit more context when they were originally raised but everything made sense in the end. Luke does a great job of driving the story forward.

For a great story that had me turning the pages and staying up late at night, there were two things that bothered me. First, Luke was willing to move on from Natalie way too soon. He started dating another women about 6 months after his wife's death when he was still obviously struggling with her loss. Second, the ending was overkill. The twists leading up to it were believable and captured me but the final one had me rolling my eyes. It was way too much.

Still, a book's ability to capture me is measured by me not falling asleep on the train while reading it (I didn't) and staying up late to finish it (I did)! ...more

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Feb 27, 2016 Stories Unfolded rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Last night I couldn't put this book down and ended up finishing it at 1am, but it was definitely worth losing a few hours of sleep. When I'm Gone is one of those books that made me "react" to things that would unfold and the twists and turns that were revealed. At one point my husband (who isn't a reader) asked me why I have to react to everything in the book. When I say react (my fellow readers will know what I'm talking about), I mean gasps, sighs, and a little bit of commentary mixed in. I ju ...more

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May 05, 2016 Cristina rated it liked it · review of another edition

Thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for giving me the opportunity of reading an advance electronic copy of this book. This is my unbiased review.

Sometimes, it's very hard to put your thoughts together and write down how you feel about a novel you may have read at some point. This is what happened to me when I read When I'm Gone by Emily Bleeker. I found it difficult to understand whether I considered it a 3-star or a 4-star book. I am, by no means, saying that reading this novel was a ...more

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Aug 01, 2016 María Belén rated it did not like it

Shelves: contemporary, adult

The premise of the book reminded me of P.S. I Love You. And that along with the positive reviews made me want read it.

I'm in the minority here but really, this was bad.

The characters are one dimensional. There's no character development whatsoever. And the little boy Clayton, his character was completely unrealistic. He's a 3 year old that talks and behaves like an adult! It was so unbelievable that his lines made me laugh.

The plot is good. There are some mysteries and secrets that could have w ...more

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Dec 29, 2016 Ashley rated it it was amazing

Shelves: net-galley, arcs, 2016-release

Loved, loved, loved. Full review can be found at Ash Reads Stuff.

Thanks to NetGalley and Lake Union Publishing for the ARC.

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About Emily Bleeker

Emily lives in suburban Chicago with her family. Between writing and being a mom, she attempts to learn guitar, sings along to the radio (loudly), and embraces her newfound addiction to running.

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