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And I Darken (The Conqueror's Saga #1)

by Kiersten White (Goodreads Author)

3.95 · Rating Details · 10,945 Ratings · 2,884 Reviews

No one expects a princess to be brutal. And Lada Dragwlya likes it that way. Ever since she and her gentle younger brother, Radu, were wrenched from their homeland of Wallachia and abandoned by their father to be raised in the Ottoman courts, Lada has known that being ruthless is the key to survival. She and Radu are doomed to act as pawns in a vicious game, an unseen swor ...more

Hardcover, 475 pages

Published June 28th 2016 by Delacorte Press

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Jan 13, 2015 Emily May rated it it was amazing

Shelves: young-adult, historical-fiction, fantasy, arc, coverly-love, 2016

“So the question becomes, Daughter of the Dragon, what will you sacrifice? What will you let be taken away so that you, too, can have power?”

4 1/2 stars. This book is totally fucked up. In the best possible way.

Well, holy shit. Even with the positive reviews rolling in, that was completely unexpected. How do I begin to explain this vicious little nightmare of a book? All I know is: it's different to anything else I've read.

And I Darken is dark, gritty and compelling. It pulled me into its dark ...more

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Mar 24, 2015 Wendy Darling rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: heroines-butt-kicking, young-adult, historical-fiction, alternate-history, action-packed, rh, june, to-acquire-hb, retellings-and-inspirations, 2016-publication, 2016-favorites, read-2016

4.5 stars I didn't believe all the high ratings, and now here I am with them.

A good example of why it's good to try authors again, btw. I'd read a couple of the author's earlier books and found them likable if a bit unmemorable, but there was absolutely no indication that one day she'd write a brutal book--or an uncompromising heroine--like this.

Vlad the Impaler re-imagined as an aggressive girl! Fantastic.

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Jul 02, 2016 Lola Reviewer rated it really liked it

Shelves: young-adult, romance, family, war-setting, 3rd-person-pov, historical-fiction, strong-heroine, lgbt, plotting, 2016-publications

‘‘The price of living seems to always be death.’’
‘‘And that is why you become a dealer of death. You feed death as many people as you can to keep it full and content so its eye stays off you.’’

And I Darken is not a bedtime story. Its complexity makes it hard to get into but also hard to get out of.

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but sometime as I was reading it, I suddenly stopped thinking of it as just another historical fiction/fantasy story and started seeing it in a new light.

Seein ...more

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Sep 27, 2014 Khanh (the Grinch) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This was truly an epic book. There is a twist in this book, and trust me when I say that you will not see it coming.

It has a heroine who flaunts herself as the "anti-princess" and in that sense, the book does not disappoint. Lada - our "female Vlad the Impaler" hooked (impaled?) me from the start. Even as a child in the nursery, she was fierce.

Like her brother, Lada had big eyes, but hers were close-set, with arched bows that made her look perpetually cross. Her hair was a tangled mass, so dark

...more

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Jul 29, 2016 Natalie rated it really liked it

Shelves: arc, lgbtqia, diverse-reads, fantasy

Ever since I read this particular quote taken from And I Darken, I've been enchanted:

“On our wedding night," she said, "I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. Then both tongues that spoke our marriage vows will belong to me, and I will be wed only to myself. You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate, but I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied.”

And also that beautiful cover didn't hurt.

This review contains *spoilers*.

And ...more

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Nov 27, 2015 Laura rated it really liked it

Shelves: arc, historical-fiction, young-adult, 2016

Ever heard of Vlad the Impaler? He had a reputation for cruelty throughout Europe. He took pleasure in torturing and killing his enemies with his most preferred method being impalement. He was also the inspiration for Dracula. Imagine an alternate history with Vlad the Impaler as a girl. This is our story.

And I Darken follows Lada’s life from the very beginning. We start in 1435 Transylvania with Vlad Dracul taking in the fact that his wife has given birth to a girl. Such a disgrace because sh Ever heard of Vlad the Impaler? He had a reputation for cruelty throughout Europe. He took pleasure in torturing and killing his enemies with his most preferred method being impalement. He was also the inspiration for Dracula. Imagine an alternate history with Vlad the Impaler as a girl. This is our story.

And I Darken follows Lada’s life from the very beginning. We start in 1435 Transylvania with Vlad Dracul taking in the fact that his wife has given birth to a girl. Such a disgrace because she cannot be an heir. A girl is of no worth unless you marry her off. A year later her brother Radu is born. We follow Lada through other’s eyes in the first few chapters until the book jumps to 1446. From here on forward..the book is set in the dual perspectives of Lada and Radu. It’s pretty straight forward.

Lada wants so badly to impress her father Vlad. She wants to prove that even though she is a female, she can be as badass and brutal as the rest of them. In fact, she can be more fierce, dangerous, cruel, strong, etc. than any boy. She’s constantly trying to prove her worth to her father. Even after he uses his children as pawns in a treaty sending them off to be raised in the Ottoman Empire bargaining with their lives.

Radu is pretty much the opposite of his sister - not what Vlad would want out of a son. He’s sensitive, emotional, delicate, but so so beautiful. He is constantly seeking Lada’s love and approval. Lada views him as weak, while she is the strong one. She has this hate for her brother, but also an undeniable love. Lada is torn with her feelings on Radu because she constantly needs to protect him yet can’t stand that he can’t do it himself. She envies him for being born with a penis, thus naturally having more power than she could ever possibly have. Lada and Radu's sibling relationship is incredibly complex. It is one of my favorite aspects of the novel. I am very curious to see how it plays out in the future.

One of the best things about And I Darken is how the themes of politics, religion, and sexuality are all weaved in throughout the plot. I enjoyed how these played such a large part in not only our story, but the characters. There was such a great deal of character development. Politics do play a much larger role in the story than I was originally expecting, but I think I should re-evaluate those expectations. I mean..this is a story telling an alternate history to a man who lived this sort of life..he and his brother were used as political bargaining chips and held in “captivity.” The traumatic experiences built up eventually leading to his ruling of Wallachia as a sadistic leader. How can you tell this story without all the intricate details that led to such an outcome? I am oh so excited to see how Lada continues to become a Vlad the Impaler that we recognize.

The story is completely original and unlike anything I’ve ever read. The writing is dark and brutal. The setting is beautifully written and historically accurate. I fell in love with the characters and their individual stories. For the first in a series, this was set up so well. My main fault is the story got slow for a good portion of the book. It started off fantastic and picked up at the end. There is a time when Lada and Radu are caught up in the whole Mehmed thing. I understand why it all went the way it did. I just wish it wasn’t slow for such a large portion of the story. Though I realize this allowed time for character and story development.

I am very excited to see how things play out for Lada, Radu, Mehmed, and Wallachia in the sequel. I’m curious how close to history Kiersten White plans on keeping The Conquerors Saga. If you like YA books that tell an alternate history and prefer your books on the darker side, I highly recommend you read this! ...more

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Apr 18, 2016 Christine Delilah (Maramochabooks) rated it it was ok

Shelves: disappointing, angst, arc

2.5 stars
I swear, if you were to play a drinking game to how many times the love interests name was mentioned followed by angst, you would die of alcohol poisoning.

"At her hip was her sword, and on her wrists were her knives. Her spine was steel. Her heart was armor. Her eyes were fire"

That quote sounds great right? You'd think that she were some warrior fighting for her country, making difficult decisions.
Wrong!
Meet Lada, she's practically the princes and her brother body guard. She doesn' ...more

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Jul 05, 2016 Cait (Paper Fury) rated it really liked it

Shelves: young-adult, historical-fiction, 4-star, read-2016

WELL. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH MY MAMMOTH TEAPOT LOAD OF THOUGHTS??? Because I have many, my fiends. The trouble is this book had an enormous load of potential with all the epic characters and much stabbing -- and yet???? It felt dry. Although at the same time I appreciate how UNIQUE the story is and how amazing all the historical elements are.

So basically I am like so:

Me: This was deadly boring.
Brain: But the characters were precious violent cinnamon rolls.
Me: But I napped.
Brain: But gender- ...more

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Jul 25, 2016 Melissa ♥ Dog Lover ♥ Martin rated it it was amazing

Shelves: own, fantasy-all, young-adult

One of my favorite books is on sale right now on kindle for $1.99 - 1/15/2017

Vlad Dracul's heavy brow descended like a storm when the doctor informed him that his wife had given birth to a girl.

Oh, little did he know that he would have one of the most brutal, bad@ssed girl known to man!

Lada waved the knife at him in answer to the question she did not understand. Vlad raised an eyebrow. He was wrapped in a fine cloak, an elaborate hat on his head. It had been nearly a year since Lada had seen ...more

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Jan 02, 2017 Ben Alderson rated it liked it

First book of 2017 complete.
Really unique story and i did really enjoy it. Some parts were confusing but the majority was brilliant!

I thought there would be magic involved but it was not, still really good!

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Jul 08, 2016 Helen 2.0 rated it really liked it

Shelves: badass, historical, fairytale-myth, brs-done, cover-candy, royalty, love-triangle, new-adult, release-2016, read-16

"It is the way of the world. You can be the aggressor, you can fight against crusaders on their own land, or you can stay at home and wait for them to come to you. And they would come. They would come with fire, with disease, with swords and blood and death. Weakness is an irresistible lure."

4.5 stars.

Lada made an awesome first impression, not everyone can claim to be a badass right from birth. She wasn't exactly relatable - most of the time I couldn't figure out what her motivations were - bu ...more

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Jan 15, 2016 Chantal (Every Word A Doorway) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favourite-books, listened-on-audio, fantasy, young-adult, historical-fiction, read-in-2016, published-2016, best-reads-of-2016

Dear Kiersten White,

Thank you for restoring my faith in the YA Fantasy genre. I’ve had bad luck with it this year and I really needed someone to show me that the genre wasn’t the problem, and I wasn’t the problem, but instead I was just reading the wrong books.

Thank you for making me feel so much. For filling me up to the brim with emotion. Love, hatred, happiness, despair, frustration, glee, anxiety, passion. I felt it all while reading And I Darken and I can’t remember the last time a book did Dear Kiersten White,

Thank you for restoring my faith in the YA Fantasy genre. I’ve had bad luck with it this year and I really needed someone to show me that the genre wasn’t the problem, and I wasn’t the problem, but instead I was just reading the wrong books.

Thank you for making me feel so much. For filling me up to the brim with emotion. Love, hatred, happiness, despair, frustration, glee, anxiety, passion. I felt it all while reading And I Darken and I can’t remember the last time a book did this to me.

Thank you for writing about a setting and time period that I’ve never seen before and thus gave this book an air of originality and doing it so excellently.

Thank you for not shying away from making your book all about politics. Thank you for making those political aspects easily accessible to anyone regardless of prior knowledge or reading experience, without ever trivializing it.

Thank you for all the fleshed-out, authentic characters, but most of all Lada. Thank you for Lada. Just that.

Thank you for the ending, which was exactly what I wanted to happen throughout the entire second half of the book, but wasn’t sure would.

Thank you for slowly killing me from the inside in the best possible way. You’ve probably put me in a book hangover for the rest of the year.

Thank you for giving me everything I never knew I wanted.

Sincerely,
Chantal

“I cannot afford to lose you, too"
"You cannot lose something you do not own. Take me with you”

It’s perhaps important for me to note that this book cannot strictly be considered “Fantasy”. There is no magic and it doesn’t even take place in a different world from our own. Instead, it’s an alternate history retelling, set in Eastern Europe during the reign of the Ottoman Empire. It is based on history, but not historically accurate. I say this, because if you go into it expecting a fast-paced, magic-filled world, you will be disappointed. It reads more like a YA historical fiction, than fantasy. Kiersten White took a real historical figure, Vlad the Impaler, Prince of Wallachia, and turned history on its head. What if this man, who has a reputation for cruelty and found pleasure in torturing and killing, was a girl? The premise is intriguing to say the least, but a lot could have gone wrong and I’m happy to say it didn’t.

The plot, which could easily have been boring and repetitive, was exciting and didn’t ever bore me. Not once. I was hooked from the first chapter and couldn’t put the book down, even if at times, I needed to take a break just to give my poor heart some time to deal with all the feelings. I love intricate political back-and-forths and character-driven stories and this book did both wonderfully. Kiersten White knows exactly how to create tension, when to resolve misunderstandings right before they become frustrating, when to switch POV and how to make a rather slow book not feel slow-paced.

How can I talk about the characters without melting into a little puddle of mush? In short, this cast of characters was one of the best I’ve ever come across. They were both great standing on their own, as well as their dynamics with others. All of them were fleshed-out and three-dimensional, thoroughly flawed yet lovable and at times so relatable it hurt. I went into the book expecting to like Lada (and she did turn out to be my favourite) but I also loved the other characters. Sweet Radu with his good but emotionally scarred soul, Mehmed who does so much wrong and I sometimes wanted to slap but I warmed to anyways, Nikolai who is just the best, and all the female characters of the court who taught Lada what it means to be a woman in their world and how to be powerful and that the two aren’t irreconcilable.

“Ugh," she muttered, tugging his hair. "You are so pretty. Like a delicate butterfly beneath my boot."
"Ugh, " he replied, pulling one of her own curls, which were thick and coarse. "You are so mad. Like a rabid hound that needs to be put down.”

The relationship between the two siblings was one of my favourite aspects of the novel. Their dynamics were done with such realism and honesty that it had me in awe. That wavering between affection, resentment and jealousy felt palpable and in many ways, their relationship was the driving force of the novel.

Lada herself was wonderful and one of my new favourite female characters. She is so fierce, so brutal, at times evil, but somehow she’s also incredibly relatable, something I did not expect. She’s a badass for sure but so much more than that. Her intelligence and calculating nature fascinated me and all I wanted was for her to be happy, to give her a hug and be her best friend. Lada blows other anti-heroines, like Adelina from The Young Elites, out of the water. She’s also a YA main character who isn’t pretty and yields that knowledge like a blade. Watching her fury unfold and seeing the fear, thirst and want behind it was utterly captivating.

The last time she was up here, she had been... staring up at the sky and dreaming of stars. Now, she looked down and plotted flames.

The dynamics between the characters were fabulous to read, though not always a pleasure. There is so much in this book: romance, friendship, sibling love and rivalry; it’s about power struggles and loyalty and the meaning of family. Feminism was clearly an important element but wasn’t ever over-the-top or lecturing and I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that treated power and its importance (both on a personal and macro level) quite so well.

“So the question becomes, Daughter of the Dragon, what will you sacrifice? What will you let be taken away so that you, too, can have power?”

I applaud the author for her elaboration on religion and her respectful way of talking about Islam, Christianity and Atheism. The novel also contains unrequited love (and lots of it) a topic that I always want to see, but that I’ve found to be astonishingly sparse in YA literature.

The fact that the author managed to interweave all of this seamlessly, still has me in awe. The sheer relatability I felt while reading this whole book was amazing: I felt like I knew these characters and seeing them struggle with so many things that I struggle with daily (though on a completely different scope), made me feel understood and less lonely with my feelings.

Kiersten White’s writing was beautiful and a huge departure from her Paranormalcy series I read from her years ago. Quietly poetic without being purple and always effective and poignant.

To give you an idea of what to expect, I would probably compare And I Darken most closely to The Winner's Crime and The Winner's Kiss by Marie Rutkoski (also two of my favourites). If you loved that trilogy, I’m pretty sure you will love this one too. Otherwise, I know this book isn’t for everyone, as I can see people finding it dragging and slow-paced, but for me it worked perfectly and I full-heartedly recommend it.

I’m going to stop gushing now, just know this: I loved everything about this book and it will end up on my list of favourites for 2016 for sure.
...more

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Jun 25, 2016 Ryan rated it liked it

Shelves: read-in-2016, july-tbr, lgbt, feels-trip, that-cover-though, 3-star, unfinished-series

3.5/5 stars

Edit: Looking back on this, I believe I need to edit some things. See, I posted this review when I was new to Goodreads, so I thought giving a book three stars would be considered "rude" (which I find kind of amusing now, considering some of my more...rant-y reviews). Thankfully, now I know that's not the case. Don't get me wrong, I still really enjoyed this book. It did drag on a bit in some parts, and I may or may not have skimmed a few sections when things got boring, but I do love ...more

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Nov 19, 2016 Chesca rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites, young-adult, books-i-highly-recommend, historical-fiction, favorite-female-protagonists, favorite-covers, qbc-2016-4th-quarter-historical-fic, fantasy

FIVE THOUSAND STARS out of five
Highly-recommended. My new favorite.
A read for The Quarterly Book Club’s Fourth Quarter: Historical Fiction

“So the question becomes, Daughter of the Dragon, what will you sacrifice? What will you let be taken away so that you, too, can have power?”

This was my first time to read a book by this author and I will definitely check out her other works. Her writing is exceptionally exquisite. She was able to rebuild a long-gone world in my head and piqued my curiosi ...more

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Apr 21, 2016 Shelby *trains flying monkeys* rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: netgalley, young-adult, everyone-loved-but-me, read-2016

When I saw the premise for this story..A female anti-hero retelling of Vlad the Impaler..in a sort of Game of Thorns vibe..I was all set to start handing out some stars.

The book starts with Lada (Ladislav-but she will punch you in the face for calling her that) and her brother Radu growing up in Wallachia. Lada wants to impress her father Vlad so that she can prove that even though born female she is a force to be reckoned with. And she is..

Occasionally she informed her tutors when a torture m ...more

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Nov 07, 2016 Nastassja rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: lovers of historical fiction and messed up characters

Shelves: best-young-adult, young-adult, historical-fiction, triggers, this-girl-is-awesome, anti-hero, intiguing-concept, mind-blowing-cliffhanger, love-triangle, emotional, trilogy, excellent-writing, 3rd-pov, admirable-hero, alternative-history, messed-me-up, 2016, dark-haired-heroine, cover-ecstasy

"Will you protect me?
"Until the day I kill you."

This book is brutal. From the capital B. This book makes you step out of your comfort zone and pushes you face down into a tangle of questions without obvious answers. It is reassuring to ask for something and have something in return. This book takes and takes and takes; it won't give your comfort, it won't give you easy, it won't answer any of your questions directly, but instead it will give you options to interpret what you've glimpsed insi
"Will you protect me?
"Until the day I kill you."

This book is brutal. From the capital B. This book makes you step out of your comfort zone and pushes you face down into a tangle of questions without obvious answers. It is reassuring to ask for something and have something in return. This book takes and takes and takes; it won't give your comfort, it won't give you easy, it won't answer any of your questions directly, but instead it will give you options to interpret what you've glimpsed inside it.

Gosh, this was a bumpy ride for me, full of anguish. I admit, I am a comfortable kind of girl, meaning that I'd probably prefer something simple and straight in my life, but I also admit that when my view on the world is challenged, when my cocoon of comfortable existence and convenient beliefs is messed up with, I can't help it but accept the challenge. I love to torture myself, asking again and again how would I act if I were in characters' shoes? Would I play dirty if I had something to fight for? Would I darken to get it?

Brother/sister relationship

Lada and Radu, Radu and Lada. They are messed up big time. I've mentioned before in my reviews that I have an older brother. We used to be close; we used to have same dreams and aspirations; we used to depend on each other. We grew up and, though, we still are close enough, we mostly went our separate ways: divided our dreams and each of us chose what they wanted the most. I know what messed up means between siblings, trust me, but Lada and Radu are worse. They love each other, but they can't exist with each other; they can't bloom, because they suffocate each other dreams. Love can be impossible. Lada and Radu have that kind of love.

“If Lada was the spiky green weed that sprouted in the midst of a drought-cracked riverbed, Radu was the delicate, sweet rose that wilted in anything less that the perfect conditions.”

Love, bonding, jealousy, hate, bitterness - these are Lada and Radu. They are the opposites of each other. When Lada blooms - Radu suffocates, when Radu blooms - Lada suffocates. I enjoyed every interaction between them no matter how tender or bitter it was. It had hurt to read, but it was worth it.
“Ugh," she muttered, tugging his hair. "Your are so pretty. Like delicate butterfly beneath my boot."
"Ugh, " he replied, pulling one of her own curls, which were thick and coarse. "You are so mad. Like a rabid hound that needs to be put down.”

Good? Bad? In between?
“These are lives, Lada,” Radu said. “How can you speak of them like they are matters of simple mathematics, a problem to be solved?”
“Because thinking like that is the only way to keep from losing our minds.”
“What about our souls?” Mehmed whispered.
“Souls and thrones are irreconcilable.”

That's it. That is the core of this book. What if you were born into power, where every decision means someone has to die to let someone else live? How does it feel to rule countries and make similar decisions every day? Does it hurt? Does it empower? Do we call a person who kills few to save many a villain? It is easy to be a hero when you don't have thousands of people depending on you, doesn't it? This story is not about heroes. Neither it is about villains. It's about people. People born into power, people bred to rule, people who don't know the other way of living. Conquer or be conquered.
Kill or be killed.
That is what our characters are made of.
If we were not pushing, fighting, claiming what is ours and challenging what is not yet ours, others would be doing it to us. It is the way of the world. You can be the aggressor, you can fight against crusaders on their own land, or you can stay at home and wait for them to come to you. And they would come. They would come with fire, with disease, with swords and blood and death. Weakness is an irresistible lure.

A world where religion is used to conquer and control. Where a person believes he/she is meant for greatness, because it's God's will. It's a tricky ground to step on. I am not a religious person and it's quite obvious to me religion was and is used as a weapon, but the person who wields it, do they really believe they are the chosen one, or is it a lie crafted to take more and more from others?
“We do not act as your precious Christians do, slaughtering other Christians for believing the wrong way. Yes, we ask for payment. That is the price of safety. But we allow all people under our rule to believe what they will, so long as they do not disturb the peace.”

“Religion was a means to an end. She had seen it wielded as a weapon. If she needed to use it, she would, but she would never allow herself to be used by it.”

This book introduces to us two cultures, two perspectives, and allows us to decide which one is closer to our own beliefs. It does not wield conviction that one side or the other is the right one. It all depends on perspectives. And this book is about people and their perspectives. We are not talking about right or wrong here, we are talking about necessary.
Would you use power for your own gain or to protect the weaker?

Women in this reality have so little. The terrible thing about living in a world ruled by men is that a woman is a thing that is sold, bought, used and discarded at her husband/father/brother's will. She has nothing; she is nothing. Lada fights against it, but no matter how hard she tries or how often she proves her worth, she is still just a woman in a world ruled by men:

She would never be the best Janissary, because she would never be a Janissary. She could never be powerful on her own, because she would always be a woman.

“Your harem. They exist to serve you. They give you sons.” She spat the word out. “What do you do for them?”
<...>
They are— It is different. It is like the man who carries my stool. I neither like nor dislike him. He is there to serve a purpose.

The characters

Most of all it's their story. I admit, I felt a little bit scared reading about real historic figures, even though, there were changes and author's interpretation of them (Vlad Dracul became Lada Dracul), this book still manages to shock and appall with how realistic they seem, how painfully human. There were times I hated Lada, there were times I loved her, but, undoubtedly, no matter how I felt toward Lada, I couldn't not admire her. It is a tricky task - an impossible one - to make a woman with no power or rights into someone who controls her own destiny. Lada is vicious; there's almost nothing feminine about her; she's many things, but loyal to her Motherland she is the most:

“I love Wallachia. It belongs to me, and I belong to it. It is my country, and it should always be mine, and I hate any king or sultan or god or prophet that proclaims anyone else has any right to it.”

She doesn't want power for the sake of gaining more power, she wants power to protect her land and make it thrive. It's an honorable goal, but the means to an end... well, I am really conflicted about Lada (as I am about the rest of the characters too), and still I want to follow her progress toward her goal in book 2.

Radu is a vulnerable soul and always was. Unlike Lada, who always knew what she wanted, Radu was lost most of his childhood, until he met a friend who gave him purpose. I'd say Radu is noble, but, again, things are way more tricky than that. He lives for the people he loves, but that love sometimes serves as a venom poisoning his soul.

And part of him, a compact, dark lump of meanness buried deep in his chest, had been glad. Let her feel useless. Let her feel like a failure. Let her see that he could do things she never could.

Unlike Lada, Radu is a soul of any company. He observes, he listens and gathers information. Lada is always rushes into a fight, Radu is more level-headed.
“You have both been so busy learning tactics and studying battles, you have failed to see the truth of where thrones are won and lost. It is in the gossip, the words and letters passed in dark corners, the shadow alliances and the secret payments. You think I am worthless? I can do things you could never dream of.”

And if I am somewhere in the middle ground with Lada and Radu, liking and un-liking them at the same time, Mehmed is someone I can't comprehend where I stand with. He is too different (?) for me to understand. Was it his blind faith or his insensibility toward women that made me hard to connect with him? I can't say. My head understands that it was the only way he knew and was bred into, but my moral compass glitches striving to deny me my middle ground concerning this character.
I have no idea how to feel about it. It is…a duty. It is the same as sitting through endless councils, hearing the complaints of pashas and the petty disputes of Janissaries and spahis.<...>
And the harem, I— It is not real, Lada. I visit, and they flit about like phantoms, like paintings. None of them are real to me.

I liked Mehmed's relationship with Radu and Lada; I liked that they are complicated and, though, these three depend on each other, they still have their own fire inside to ignite them. There's this thin line between obsession and love, hatred and friendship, but it felt real and the more I liked their bond for it. Yes, there's also this very messed up love-triangle that is not really a love-triangle (go figure), but I am still indecisive whether it's for the best or for the worst that Lada and Radu met Mehmed that fateful day in the garden.
Radu and Mehmed had both given her something she could not give herself, had seen her in a way no one else had and no one else ever would. They looked at her, ugly Lada, vicious Lada, and saw something precious. And she looked at them and saw Radu, her brother, her blood, her responsibility, and Mehmed, her equal, the only man great enough to be worthy of her love.

To recommend/Not to recommend

- You like historical fiction with historic figures as main characters?

- You like messed up characters?

- You like the topic of the Ottoman Empire vs Constantinople?

- You like gray instead of white or black?

- You like complicated relationships between siblings?

- You like well-crafted language and engaging storyline?

- You like your books messed up and making you step out of your comfort zone?

If you had answered with more yes than no - then read this book. I will be middle ground today: neither recommending nor not recommending this book. My goal was to show you with my review what kind of topics this book touches, and whether you are comfortable with them. It's not an easy read, and I hope I succeeded in showing you the important parts that may or may not convince you that this is the one book you want to make you next read.
“We cannot always have what we want, no matter how much we want it.”

...more

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May 22, 2014 Jessica ❁ ➳ Silverbow ➳ ❁ Rabid Reads marked it as indefinitely-set-aside

Shelves: netgalley, cover-whore, half-fantasy

1/9/17 - ON SALE for $1.99:

http://amzn.to/2j9zkf1

AND I DARKEN just got added to my Most Anticipated Books of 2016 list. It is--BY FAR--the best of the previews in BUZZ BOOKS 2016: YA, Spring/Summer edition.

Lada and Radu are both children of Vlad Dracul. Lada, a year older than her brother, is a vicious child, everything her father could hope for . . . in a son. Radu is as beautiful and delicate as his sister is fierce. He spends his early years the punching bag of other noble children, until h ...more

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Oct 21, 2016 Robin (Bridge Four) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 4-5-stars, kick-ass-heroines, ya, awesome-audio, buddy-read

On Sale today 1/9/17 at Amazon Here for $1.99

4.5 Be The Knife Stars

Buddy Reading at Buddies Books & Baubles

I suck at history. The only Vlad I knew is the one that all the Drakula stories are based off of. So I want to give a big thank you to Choko who was kind enough to point out that the main character Lada (which was the shortened femine version of Vlad) is actually a gender twisted Vlad the Impaler as a child. *mind blown* That took the story that was interesting to a whole new level fo ...more

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Aug 23, 2015 Jillian (bookishandnerdy) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2016-favorites, amazing-characters, bad-ass-ladies

*an arc was sent to me from random house for review consideration. all opinions are my own

“Her spine was steel. Her heart was armor. Her eyes were fire."

And I Darken by Kiersten White is a historical fiction—alternate history retelling of Vlad the Impaler. Except this time Vlad the Impaler is Lada, a brutal princess who loves her home, Wallachia, with a fierce passion.

And I Darken is one of my most anticipated releases of 2016. Not surprisingly, I had pretty high expectations going into this ...more

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May 17, 2016 Sh3lly ✨ Bring on the Weird ✨ rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: dragged-on-forever, nothing-happens, young-adult, maybe-its-just-me, too-much-filler, netgalley, gurrrl-power, everyone-loved-it-but-me, read-2016, omg-this-book-is-so-long, i-read-it-wrong, alternate-reality-or-history

Unpopular Opinion Time.

First of all. Cover: Awesome. Title: I dig it.

This book is getting some mega hype and I have no doubt will be a huge hit when it is released on June 28, 2016. I do see why it would be popular. It's written well. It has a female main character who is supposed to be "ugly" and does not conform to the rigid standards for females of her time (or any time, really). That's appealing and something we need to see more of in books. She's not a "damsel in distress." She's strong, in ...more

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Apr 19, 2016 Alienor ✘ French Frowner ✘ (of badger and SNAKE) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, historical, dark, arcs-2016, 2016-reads, trigger-warning, alternative-history

✨ AVAILABLE NOW! WOOT ✨

4.5 stars. Excuse me while I shake my head, burst into crazy laugher and tear up a little. Bear with me, would you? I need to vent - Apparently being stuck in the head of a psychopath will do that to you.

✔ Unfortunately your right or wrong radar works like shit now, and you find yourself nodding along the way when murdering someone is advised. What? Your safety, you fool! (not all deaths, though - you know what I mean)
✔ Your sense of humor is - oh my GOSH, what have you ...more

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Nov 06, 2015 Simona Bartolotta rated it really liked it

Shelves: in-english, netgalley

*I received this copy from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*

"I am no longer the daughter of the dragon." She lifted her chin, sights set on the horizon. "I am the dragon."

This book is an escalation of surprises.

•The first thing that will strike you -almost literally, strike you- is Lada, the female (and absolute, in truth, because even though other characters, or at least another one, have a role as important as hers, she is the one who shines throughout the whole st ...more

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May 01, 2016 Destini Mia~ ♕ Sassy Lassie rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arc, le-angst, fierce-leads

And so she cut her heart out and offered it as a sacrifice. She would pay whatever price her mother Wallachia demanded.

*correction: woman. there is a reflection of a sad and lonely woman in my soup

I cannot wait to see what kind of review I manage to scrape together. You'll only see the finished product, but I just want to document that I'm here, listening to slow, depressing music. Feeling... well, slow and depressed. Staring at a blank computer screen for *checks watch* 23 minutes now. So I' ...more

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May 16, 2016 Melanie rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: arc, read-in-2016, fantasy, historical, lgbtqia, young-adult

ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I'm not sure how I really feel about this book, yet. I enjoyed it immensely, and it was very satisfying when finished, but something stopped me from loving this book. Do I ignore this nagging pain and give this five stars, because it feels like it should be five stars, or do I write this review and see what's stopping me from singing this book's praises to anyone who will listen?

The start was fantastic, and I was absolu ...more

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Mar 10, 2016 Natalie Monroe rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: bubbling-under-5-stars, fearless-protagonists, creepy-yet-entertaining, kick-ass-heroines, mommy-why-is-the-villain-bad, bittersweet-ending, i-spy-something-pointy, he-s-so-bad-but-he-does-it-so-well, my-inner-feminist-cries-with-joy, love-wins

4.5 stars

"She would never toss aside her country the way her father had. She would protect it.

A small sob threatened to break free. What could she do? She had no power.

Yet, she vowed. She had no power yet."

Can I get a high five for reached expectations? Bring it in, come on.

And I Darken is YA at its finest. There were times when I questioned if it should be classified as NA/Adult because the themes it deals with and the characters' thought processes get pretty dark. And then there's the hist ...more

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Sep 28, 2014 Aly's Bookish Wonderland rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, faves, physical-arc, arc-from-pub, historical, 100-percent-rock

“He will be angry. And Mircea will kill me. I am scared to die.”
“Everyone dies sometime. And I will not let Mircea kill you. If anyone is going to kill you, it will be me. Understand?”
Radu nodded, snuggling into her shoulder. “Will you protect me?”
“Until the day I kill you.”

And I Darken is the book I have been waiting my entire life to read. No, really. It’s brutal, unforgiving, with characters that resemble G. R. R. Martin’s beloved cast in Game of Thrones and a plot so twisted, so incredib ...more

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Apr 24, 2016 Drew (Drew’s Cup of Tea) rated it really liked it

Shelves: young-adult, historical-fiction

What if Vlad Dracula was a girl? This famous historical figure, otherwise known as "Vlad the Impaler," was a brutal prince who slaughtered thousands and grew up in fifteenth century Wallachia. And I Darken takes a new twist by creating the violent, psychotic character that is Ladislav Dragwlya.

This book was utterly captivating. It combined some of my favorite things - historical fiction, a creative retelling, and a main character who straddled the line between hero and villain. The totally screw ...more

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Oct 17, 2016 Choko rated it really liked it

Shelves: historical-fiction, alternative-history

*** 4 ***

A buddy read with my friends at BB&B!!! We get to visit the Balkans during Mehmed the Conqueror!

Wow!!! I went into this one thinking it will be a Historical Urban Fantasy. How blind could one reader's expectations be!!!

Now, let's imagine that Vlad the Third, the Impaler, was not whom we imagined or have known him to be, but was born to Vlad the Second as a girl, Lada? And of course, other than that, nothing much is different. Vlad/Lada has the same beautiful younger brother, who w ...more

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Apr 08, 2016 Jacqueline rated it really liked it · review of another edition

4/5 Stars

Video Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c27HB...

Even though it seemed like it took me forever to finish this book I was actually buddying reading it with Katie from KitKatsCanRead. We took a little break in May with reading it since we both were a little busy and today when I was bored in the car today I decided to read a little of it. Instead, I somehow finished the book but I don't regret it whatsoever.

I was entirely blown away by this book. I love how much research was done for ...more

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Jul 17, 2016 Kisses A rated it really liked it

Update
So I have finally gathered my taughts and realized that Radu is the only reason I gave it a 4.25* rating. (I changed it from 3.75*) Radu is sweet and taughtful and is in such great pain. He has to sacrifice so much for everyone and he can never truly be himself in the open. He is loving and beautiful and I hope he is a little happier in the next book. I love him sooo much! My feels for him...
description

So good old Lada...
I could not connect at all with Lada. She was OK like at the beginning and then ...more

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About Kiersten White

KIERSTEN WHITE is the New York Times bestselling author of the Paranormalcy trilogy; the dark thrillers Mind Games and Perfect Lies; The Chaos of Stars; and Illusions of Fate. She also coauthored In the Shadows with Jim Di Bartolo. She lives with her family near the ocean in San Diego, which, in spite of its perfection, spurs her to dream of faraway places and even further away times. Visit Kierst ...more

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Quotes from And I Darken

“On our wedding night," she said, "I will cut out your tongue and swallow it. Then both tongues that spoke our marriage vows will belong to me, and I will be wed only to myself. You will most likely choke to death on your own blood, which will be unfortunate, but I will be both husband and wife and therefore not a widow to be pitied.” — 130 likes

“The last time she was up here, she had been... staring up at the sky and dreaming of stars. Now, she looked down and plotted flames.” — 50 likes

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