Sarah Beattie

if you’re sad about celebrity deaths just remember we still have jeff goldblum

that r kelly interview was a great audition for becoming the next supreme court justice

for lent everyone should give up

to all the people upset that I don’t know who kylie jenner is let me clarify I don’t fucking care who kylie jenner is

who the fuck is kylie jennerhttps://twitter.com/forbes/status/1102901931905814535 …

if you're intelligent congratulations on being tortured by the unending hell of existence every minute of every day

uh oh everyone hide your soulshttps://twitter.com/twitter/status/1101211814585663490 …

I wish my dad loved me as much as trump wants to fuck his daughter

I know I’m late on this but I just watched lady gaga and bradley cooper sing that song and I’m pregnant now

hey guys with long fingernails what the fuck

if you’re depressed just remember that at least you stuck to the diet you started on new years and are super hot now

there's nothing better than holding someone's hand while they're asleep and they don't know who you are or how you got in

VALENTINES DAY TIP: if you're depressed today grow the fuck up and jerk off to some tits

a group of trump supporters is called a shit

did you just verify a few more nazishttps://twitter.com/Twitter/status/1094756643689164804 …

just read that someone tweeted something incredibly racist today which means they lost their job and oh wait no he’s still the president

did you know if you throw a baby at a random group of people someone will always catch it so far

I see you dude who just opened up his meatball sub to see how many meatballs there were

hey guys wearing MAGA hats why do you hate getting laid