Conan O'BrienVerified account

@ConanOBrien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.

Los Angeles
teamcoco.com
Joined February 2010
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  1. 16 hours ago

    Brushing up on my Hebrew on my El-Al flight to Israel. שלום#

    234 replies 653 retweets 4,129 likes
  2. Aug 24

    Just searched “Trump psychological profile” and crashed WebMD.

    245 replies 1,745 retweets 13,454 likes
  3. Aug 23

    Even if Big Ben does go silent, I bet it won’t shut up about its new juice cleanse.

    80 replies 290 retweets 3,675 likes
  4. Aug 22

    Just think, 100 years from now, our grandchildren will be taking down Senator Kid Rock statues.

    425 replies 5,125 retweets 29,988 likes
  5. Aug 21

    When the eclipse comes I’m going to borrow the special glasses my wife uses when I’m shirtless.

    307 replies 4,241 retweets 35,094 likes
  6. Aug 20

    Once asked SNL legend Herb Sargent what's the funniest thing you ever saw? He instantly said, "Martin and Lewis, 1940's, in a club."

    69 replies 516 retweets 5,344 likes
  7. Aug 19

    Can’t we just go back to being on the brink of nuclear war?

    364 replies 2,488 retweets 17,251 likes
  8. Aug 18

    A big hello to new White House communications director Hope Hic--what, fired?

    129 replies 726 retweets 7,354 likes
  9. Aug 17

    I heard the iPhone 15 won't have any ports or jacks or a screen and it will just be a smooth steel ball and finally we'll all be happy.

    738 replies 8,570 retweets 48,673 likes
  10. Aug 16

    I'm leaving America during this divisive time for the relative peace and quiet of the Middle East.

    232 replies 654 retweets 5,321 likes
  11. Aug 16

    . joined us to explain how he's going to "dismantle" .

    33 replies 175 retweets 812 likes
  12. Aug 16

    On August 21st, there will be a total eclipse - which will look amazing after you miss it and see pics of it online the next day.

    149 replies 2,006 retweets 12,520 likes
  13. Aug 15

    Had that nightmare where my chute doesn’t open and I hit the ground, and the last thing I hear is a cannibal shouting “5-second rule!”

    221 replies 2,180 retweets 13,746 likes
  14. Aug 11

    Breaking: Conan O’Brien sends Conan O’Brien to Israel to help Jared Kushner. Stay tuned.

    President Trump sends Jared Kushner to Israel to help broker a peace deal
    175 replies 500 retweets 3,631 likes
  15. Aug 11

    Remember when all we had to worry about was Ebola? Good times.

    385 replies 10,528 retweets 41,839 likes
  16. Retweeted
    Aug 10

    One of the most revered television hosts & comedians of all time will host ! Tickets:

    39 replies 67 retweets 318 likes
  17. Aug 10

    Just think, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren, “I remember the day President Trump tweeted the nuclear launch codes.”

    640 replies 4,296 retweets 21,382 likes
  18. Aug 9

    Never been so nostalgic for Kim Jong-il.

    184 replies 1,711 retweets 13,201 likes
  19. Aug 7

    The only tan I’m getting this summer is a caftan!* *Excerpted from my Golden Girls spec script.

    108 replies 290 retweets 3,547 likes
  20. Aug 6

    I think it’s wrong to just steal honey from the bees, so I always make sure to leave behind a few “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” DVDs.

    257 replies 615 retweets 7,723 likes

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