The Most Adequate Christmas Ever"Stan, you're holding a gun to God's head. I mean, I can't even think of a metaphor that's better than this." (i.imgur.com)
submitted by KingKabuki
My Morning StraitjacketSome say he's still up there.. Making plans (i.redd.it)
submitted by jerpanda
The Best Christmas Story Never Told"Great! My first gig as Christmas Past and I tank it. Couldn't be happy with just being the Tooth Fairy. No, no. It's too steady. 'Live risky. Reach for the stars.' Well, that's not stardust on your hands, Michelle. It's failure, and it don't wash off. I should've just married Chad." (i.imgur.com)
submitted by KingKabuki
School Lies“He means the work gets done on the golf course” “SHUT UP, DINGUS!” (i.redd.it)
submitted by topsalesgun105
For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls"You did it! You kissed the raccoon! You're a real moonshiner now, you son of a bitch!" (imgur.com)
submitted by KingKabuki
Season's BeatingsHey, Trader Joe's, you've been Dadded! (i.imgur.com)
submitted by KingKabuki