Kurt Vonnegut

Dance Like No One is Watching... Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt Before...Go to Work Like You Don't Need The Money.

I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer show.

I am a brother to writers everywhere.

Be patient, Ophelia. Love, Hamlet

Be fruitful, and multiply.

Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well?

A plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. The Beatles did.

Somebody gets into trouble, then gets out of it again. People love that story. They never get tired of it.

I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.

One of the good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.

Freud said he didn’t know what women wanted. I know what women want. They want a whole lot of people to talk to.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

History is merely a list of surprises. ... It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college

If there is a god, he sure hates people.

Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

No damn cat, and no damn cradle.

I feel and think much as you do,care about many of the things you care about,although most people don't care about them. You are not alone.