On Monday, swollen earthworm gizzard Donald Trump posted a short Instagram video in which interviews with women who allege that former President Bill Clinton assaulted them are spliced together with Hillary Clinton’s laughter, coupled with a question: Is Hillary really protecting women? The ad is exploitive, foul,…
Last week, Nevada Democratic State Party Chairwoman Roberta Lange was mobbed by harassment and death threats from irate Bernie Sanders fans who suspected her of handing the state to Hillary Clinton. On Saturday, Lange, a Mariners fan, tried to tweet lightheartedly about baseball. Guess how that went?
Donald Trump, a piece of shit whose only conviction is that he always deserves to win, has engaged in some truly insane climate change denial on Twitter, writing things like “This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop” and “The concept of global warning was invented by and for the Chinese.” So,…
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who is currently not (wink) being held hostage by Donald Trump, has demonstrated the pitfalls of campaigning with a narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho—for example, in addition to everything else that is terrible about Donald Trump, he will also publicly berate you for being…
Donald Trump, still spiraling loudly nearly a week after the New York Times published a story that depicted his dealings with women in a negative light, is now contending that “it’s not the worst things, okay, when you look at what Clinton’s gone through and all the things that he’s done.” My, what a wonderful cast of…
When he’s not busy making terrible paintings of dogs, former leader of the free world George W. Bush has to find some other ways to fill his days—like keeping up a correspondence with the World Congress of Families, which opposes gay marriage, abortion, and pornography, and which the Southern Poverty Law Center calls…
On Wednesday, former Pennsylvania governor and Philadelphia mayor Ed Rendell explained that there was no way yellowing hunk of masticated gristle Donald Trump could win the presidency, as there are a lot of ugly women in America, and he is offending all of them.
Thanks to some extremely zealous Bernie Sanders supporters, the Nevada State Democratic Convention this past weekend was a particularly epic disaster, devolving into yelling, graffiti, chair-throwing and many, many threats and insults phoned in to Democratic State Party Chairwoman Roberta Lange. Yesterday, we called…
You know what’s bad? When you are so numb to the fact that a pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball is running for president that you don’t even find it all that weird, at first, that his daughter Ivanka is going around clarifying that said hairball does not “grope” people. But it is weird! America, let us…
In a twist no one (everyone) saw coming, Fox anchor Megyn Kelly and blackening scab artfully hiding in your Raisin Bran Donald Trump have patched up their feud. Their soft-focus, zealously cordial interview Tuesday night served to further legitimize Trump and to launch Kelly’s new career as solo host of her own…
As you may have heard, Obama recently instructed public schools to allow transgender students to use whichever bathroom aligns with their gender identity. Republicans—for whom bathroom activities are evidently paramount—will not stand for this, because they are nothing if not valiant protectors of women, and also…
Jeb Bush, an ally so loyal to Mexicans that he has in the past marked “Hispanic” on the census despite being so white that his good American stock dates back to Massachusetts, has rushed to criticize Donald “taco truck” Trump for his extremely stupid Cinco de Mayo tweet, in which Trump posed with a freakin’ taco bowl…
In what has been described as a “brazenly political act,” House Republicans have changed the name of the Reducing Regulatory Burdens Act to the “Zika Vector Control Act.” The House is supposed to vote on the bill, which remains completely unchanged in content, on Tuesday.
Over the weekend, the Nevada Democratic Party convention turned into a bit of a sideshow. According to multiple reports, Bernie Sanders supporters—angry over a convention that they argued was rigged against them—threw chairs, rushed the stage, and sent threats to chairwoman Roberta Lange. The convention was eventually
Former Republican presidential candidate and soon-to-be ex-Senator Marco “Roboto” Rubio has oiled his hinges and let off some steam via one beautifully catty late night tweetstorm directed at the Washington Post.
Donald Trump, a horsehair mattress stuffed with molding copies of Hustler, is deeply upset by a New York Times story suggesting he can be sexist and somewhat creepy in his private dealings with women. After petulantly tweeting about the story for a while, then calling CNN to yell about it, he moved on to the part…
Ted Cruz’s campaign for the Republican nomination, which is as dead as his heart, eyes and face skin, has pooped out one final, sputtering video. It is titled “No Regrets.”
One of the curious sideshows of this election season has been watching right-wing news site Breitbart topple entirely off the cliff of relative sanity into the roiling fecal sea of open support for Donald Trump. On Sunday, they published a particularly nutty headline denouncing neocon pundit and Weekly Standard editor…
On Friday morning, Rep. Peter King (R-NY) said a racial slur on television, but he feels fine about it so don’t worry.
If it were a trailer for a low-budget slasher movie, I’d say, “You should really tone it down.”
