Sorry Earth, talking cat collar can’t actually make cats talk

I have a dog, and I'm not ashamed to admit I talk to her a lot. I often wish she could talk back, but since she can't, I usually just make up what I think she would say in response. (This is not a cry for help!) We live in an age of jet-powered hoverboards, so why isn't there a collar that can translate my dog's whines and barks?

That's essentially the idea being (facetiously) promised in the videos you see above and below, just with cats instead of dogs. Catterbox, as it's called, is a collar that supposedly translates your cat's meows into real human words. The ads were were made by — you guessed it! — a cat treat company called Temptations. Yes, this is all the work of a #brand, but the company (or, likely, its advertising agency) deserves some credit for how crushingly on-the-nose the commercials really are.

Who knew a fake ad for a talking cat collar could skewer Silicon Valley so well?

You see, tech companies big and small typically skew one of two ways when it comes to promoting their gadgets. They either try to sell a big idea that they're nowhere near capable of executing on, or they make positively small ideas sound overly inflated. The main Catterbox ad hits all the relevant notes: the voiceover starts with "since the beginning of time," there's a spinning slow-motion CGI render of the collar, and it's full of close-up footage of men pointing at computer screens. (The website is also spot on.)

These ads are effective in the same way as shows like Key & Peele, Inside Amy Schumer, or even Kroll Show, whose creators are (or were) all known for their ability to mimic certain aesthetics — whether that of a football broadcast, or a primetime network drama, or a reality show — while subverting the expectations of what should be happening on the screen and in the dialogue.

So good job, #brand. You made me want a thing that doesn't exist. But the joke's still on you — my dog hates cat food.

• ViaCNET
• SourceTemptations Lab