After Krispy Kreme and Starbucks, what food chain-themed shoes should Nike make next?

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(Nike)

Buckle in: we've reached a treacherous new phase of sneakerhead culture. Nothing is sacred. We're now in a place where no cultural tradition is safe from being co-opted by Nike for a line of shoes. Not even brands are safe.

First, we got the SB Dunk High Premium "Waffle," a chicken-and-waffles-themed hightop that I'll admit looks awesome, if you can get past the fact that you're wearing food-themed shoes. (It was announced a few weeks ago, but hasn't yet been released.) But then, things took a dark turn with Kyrie Irving's Kyrie 2 Ky-rispy Kremes, basketball shoes that take their colorway from the iconic donut joint. I just don't know if we need donut-themed shoes. Maybe we do? I'm pretty sure we don't, though.

Now, the logical conclusion of Nike's foray into breakfast: the Starbucks-themed SB Dunk Low Premium. No one is calling this an official partnership between Nike and Starbucks, but it might as well be, considering the signature green highlights paired with rich, coffee-colored canvas. Premier, which is selling the shoe, appears to have pulled all of the images showing the shoe next to Starbucks cups and coffee beans — so it's possible Starbucks actually got a little upset here. Still, can't argue with that Starbucks colorway, official partnership or otherwise. (Nike's product page makes no mention of the coffee chain either.)

So, what's next? How about a Dunkin' Donuts-themed Air Max 90 Premium?

nike-dunkin-01

Or a McDonald's Free Train Force Flyknit?

nike-mcdonalds-01

Obviously, the sky's the limit. Even without real partnerships with all these fast food chains — none of which mesh very well with Nike's fitness game — a colorway can tell the story.

Reticulating poll splines...

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