VeryBritishProblemsಪರಿಶೀಲಿಸಿದ ಖಾತೆ

Leave roast potatoes and toast out of this <said while shaking slightly>

"Ooh are you going to the kitchen?" - Translation: Can you fetch my phone, do the dishes, hang up the washing and make me a tea, please?

Feeling obliged to say "oh he's alright" while your friend's dog chews through your arm

Starting to change into your pyjamas while someone's only halfway through saying "shall we just stay in tonight instead?"

Shouting "have we got any milk?" while standing in front of an open fridge devoid of milk

Words that mean "well that's that ruined then": - Great - Marvellous - Perfect - Brilliant - Good - Fantastic - Excellent

"Did you get a chance to read my email?" No, you sent it at 3am and I haven't sat down yet

"A small popcorn, regular drink and this packet of sweets, please" "That'll be £84"

"Never mind" - Translation: I've never been so disappointed in my life

Comforting a crying person by staring at the floor and waiting for them to stop

"Your phone's ringing!" "Answer it then!!" <24 seconds later> "It's stopped now"

"I'm sorry they've just stepped away from their desk for a moment, can I take a message?" Yes, tell them I know they're still at their desk

Being unable to break away from a tea break chat without saying "right, better do some work I suppose"

Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely" Outside: "Well, it was okay" In car: "I mean, it wasn't great" Back home: "We won't go there again"

Making sure to read the specials board out loud, so the couple dining below it don't think you're just having a good stare at them

A Brit meeting someone for the first time in 12 years: "So what have you been up to?" "Nothing much really"

Waking up to a magical winter wonderland of cold grey