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/r/ShittyLifeProTips best of 2016 Winners! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by HilltopchillModerator - announcement

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Reduce your foodbill! (i.redd.it)

submitted by Hubzee

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LPT: When shoplifting, leave the amount of cash the stolen goods are worth on the counter so as to distract the shopowner while you escape. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by mohakgulati

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LPT: If someone refuses a piece of cake, put a gun to their head and force them to eat it. That way they can enjoy a piece of cake without feeling guilty about their diet. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by UTS15

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LPT: One in 265 people in the United States have HIV. If you stay in groups smaller than 250, you will be immune. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Dinierto

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If you want to reduce the chances of getting murdered, just kill yourself. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by UberPootis69

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Time is money. So if you spend enough time in a store you can get anything for free. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by VaurienVixen

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LPT: To avoid being hurt by people, just avoid people completely. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by ALLCAPSMANIAC

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LPT: any time you see someone wearing camouflage, act like they are invisible the whole time. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by klevenisms204

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Save money on skinny jeans by getting fat, that way all your jeans will be skinny jeans! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Dolphinpolisher

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How to be cool 101 (i.redd.it)

submitted by munchUrMum68

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I love their new hit, misfiring cylinders (i.redd.it)

submitted by theultimatedoot

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LPT: every home bathroom has a urinal, it's called a sink. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Wu-Tang_Swarm

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LPT: When stressed, ask yourself if any of this will matter if a nuclear bomb were to drop in your city tomorrow. If not, then drop a nuclear bomb on your city, thus solving your problems. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by dweckl

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Never eat good food, then shit food will taste sort of okay. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by pastelrazzi

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LPT: Check the username of the minor you're attempting to hook up with. If their username is "Decoy" they might actually be a cop. (i.redd.it)

submitted by Drexelhand

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LPT: When someone says no to a piece of cake, don't try to convince them saying "it's just one piece". It's not just one piece. If they say no, now you get two pieces of cake. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Mangacomleite

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LPT: Don't wear flip-flops in public showers and just assume everyone else does (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by gsciullo

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If you're feeling lonely start masturbating, someone will definitely should up to disturb you mid-way. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by mohakgulati

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LPT: If you're trying to make new friends, act like a dog. People love dogs. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Platypus101

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LPT: Got shoes that are a bit too small for you? Cut off your toes. That should take a good 2 inches off your feet! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by UberPootis69

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LPT: If you sleep till noon you only have to pay for two meals instead of three (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by 6The_Dude9

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Light sleeper and noises wake you up at night? 1 simple trick that most doctors won't tell you! (i.redd.it)

submitted by calmodulin2

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If you can't think of anything to talk about on a date, a good conversation starter is to ask them about their views on abortion, gun control, and health care (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by fyhr100

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If you want to find that special someone that will never leave you. Find someone that needs an organ and gives them one of yours. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by ToxicAntimater

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LPT: When someone offers to help you do something, like pay for dinner or carry something heavy, let them. They will feel obligated to help you if you ask them for bigger favors in the future, like washing your car or loaning you money for drugs. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted by Lurkerking211

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