david russell

#ReasonsImNotRich My wife always orders that second glass of sangria at our favorite Mexican restaurant (that we never get thrown out of).

#ThingsNeverSaidInIndianaJones Shia LeBouf was the best you could do as Indy's son.

#RuinAGetWellCard Get well or don't--Trump is still President.

#Loseyourjobin5words Use the middle finger emoji.

If only Trump was as jealous of the French health care system as he is of Macron getting a #militaryparade.

#TuesdayThoughts Three ounces of vodka for every squirt of lime.

Don't wear a fedora. #HowToBePopularIn4Words

#MadeUpStateMottos Mississippi--where @LindseyGrahamSC is considered a liberal.

#MadeUpStateMottos And you thought we couldn't do any worse than Jeff Sessions.

#MadeUpStateMottos Alabama--we don't need 280 characters to say what's on our mind.

#WhyIDidntGetTheJob When I was called in for the interview, I had Ted Cruz's Twitter feed up and running on my smartphone.

This morning at the grocery store, I heard a 94 year-old WWII vet say that his proudest moment was meeting @PresHarryTruman. Mine, too!

When I despair about the world, I remember the beautiful souls like @MsVivicaFox and rejoice for just a minute or two.

Stop Making Sense Key Largo Unforgiven Star Wars Manhattan The Conversation Casablanca #fav7films

I never even consider seeing a movie until I find out what @AnnHornaday and @TheAmyNicholson have to say about it.

Indeed, though @TheAmyNicholson is the best thing about @thecanoncast. That guy never lets Amy explain her ideas, and he likes Antichrist!

From this point forward, we should all refer to @maddow as "The Great" Rachel Maddow!

Why, after I start following @TKLittles does Twitter immediately suggest that I follow @justinbieber? No thanks.

Attention @michaelsomeara