The Crawdad Hole

I stumbled across the Newsweak twitter feed. I did not waste my time reading the linked articles. If Barack Obama’s answer is even remotely accurate it would be something like “Do everything the opposite of what I did.” But I want to talk about something else.

Whenever I read anything emanating from the left side of the political spectrum these days I am struck by the huge gulf between what I see and hear with my own senses, and the Leftist version of the same events. It goes way beyond a difference of opinion. I don’t think you can reasonably call it a difference of perception.

The difference is so profound that one side or the other has to be either lying or delusional. Since I am on one side, and since I know I’m not lying, if the problem is on my end then I must be delusional and not know it. But if I was delusional and didn’t know it, why would these discrepancies only occur in the context of politics and culture?

Since I don’t think I am crazy, my tentative hypothesis is that the problem is on the left. This raises two questions:

1. Are they lying, or crazy?
2. What, if anything, can we do about it?

I do not have an answer to either question.

Ima gonna start packing a spear. They are legal in California, which is unusual. (Pretty much everything except weed is illegal here these days.) The cost is relatively cheap, you can make your own, they don’t require much training or practice, and you get to stab your opponent while staying out of range of his puny switchblade. Best of all, they don’t ever need to be reloaded.

I recall reading an article that argued that pikes (really long spears) were a big factor in the development of democracy. The Swiss Landsknecht used infantry pike formations so effectively that every army needed infantry to be complete. Infantry was historically made up of commoners. When you have a lot of armed, organized commoners in your country you don’t want to piss them off.

Eventually, firearms replaced pikes as the primary infantry weapon, but armies made up of commoners will eventually start thinking that the aristocrats are non-essential.

Nowadays we tend to think of the Swiss as a nation of aggressively neutral bankers. But once upon a time, the Landsknecht mercenary armies were feared all over Europe.

Whenever you see a military unit or marching band moving in formations that is one legacy of the pikemen. Commands like “left face” and “forward march” were all developed so that the pike formations could maneuver in combat. In less than a minute and with just a few simple commands, an entire company of pikemen who were facing east with their pikes at the ready could raise the pikes, turn to the south, lower the pikes, and attack.

Those same commands worked for infantry armed with firearms as well. The practice of the infantry using volley fire ended in the 19th Century with the invention of the repeating breechloader and cartridge ammunition, but soldiers still practice marching in formation.

Landsknecht Pikemen vs. Light Cavalry.

I don’t ever want to hear another word about how Trump talks. Not one fucking word.

Palestinian-American Congresswoman on Trump: ‘We Are Going to Impeach the Motherf*cker’

Newly inaugurated congresswoman, Rashida Tlaib, took a jab at U.S. President Donald Trump – vowing to impeach him. Speaking at a MoveOn.org event in Washington D.C., hours after being sworn into office, Tlaib used particularly colorful language to describe the president.

Axios’s Alexi McCammond reported that at the event Tlaib, quoting her son, said, “Look mama you won. Bullies don’t win,” to which she replied, “You’re right, they don’t. And we’re gonna go in and impeach the motherfucker.”

I’m sure the MoveOn crowd was aghast at her statement. Just kidding, they cheered. We can expect to see the phrase “impeach the motherfucker” a lot over the next two years.

My prediction on impeachment:

1. The Democrats will impeach Donald Trump on some trumped-up bullshit like calling the hush money paid to Horseyface Daniels a campaign finance violation. Mueller will help them out on this when he issues his report, which I expect him to produce very soon. The vote will be along party lines.

2. Trump will be acquitted on a party-line vote in the Senate. They need two-thirds (67) but may not even get 50 votes to convict.

3. Trump’s approval ratings will go up.

4. Democrat approval ratings will go down.

5. Trump will be reelected.

6. The Democrats will lose the House.

7. Nasty Pelosi will retire.

8. Rashida Foulmouth will be one-and-done. She holds the seat previously held by John Conyers. The population is 56% black and mostly Democrat. Tlaib is gonna lose the primary election in 2020 to a black Democrat. She won’t even make it to a run-off in November. Bye Felicia!

Gee, it looks like our President is acting unpresidential again. I LOVE IT.

In other news, my sister says “We need to talk.” I hope she isn’t breaking up with me.

I see that Spineless Mitt has once again demonstrated the courage of his convictions by backing off on his criticism of Trump and announcing he will not be running for POTUS. I’m guessing that the feedback he got was not the feedback he expected. His NeverTrumper buddies at the Establishment Club thought his editorial sounded great, the GOP voters not so much.

Mom’s hairdresser has moved so I hafta leave early to make sure I can find the new place and get her there on time. Stay crusty, my fellow crustaceans.

President-Elect Trump savors the pleasure as he watches Mitt Romney eat crow and bend the knee to Trump in futile hopes of landing a Cabinet position in the incoming administration.

When last we saw Mitt he was being crushed to death by Candy Crowley’s enormous buns. Well, he’s baa-ack!

It seems that Willard “Mitt” Romney has not abandoned all hope of becoming POTUS. Why else would he be an incoming freshman Senator at the age of 71? Why else is he attacking Trump before he is even sworn in?

Romney says Trump hasn’t ‘risen to the mantle’ of presidency in Washington Post op-ed

Sen.-elect Mitt Romney said Tuesday in an op-ed published in The Washington Post that President Donald Trump’s behavior since taking office “is evidence that the President has not risen to the mantle of the office.”

“It is well known that Donald Trump was not my choice for the Republican presidential nomination. After he became the nominee, I hoped his campaign would refrain from resentment and name-calling. It did not,” Romney, the 2012 Republican presidential nominee, wrote in the opinion piece, adding that several of Trump’s Cabinet appointments had been “encouraging.”

“But, on balance, his conduct over the past two years, particularly his actions this month, is evidence that the President has not risen to the mantle of the office,” he wrote.

Romney has been a vocal critic of the President during Trump’s campaign and first two years in office, although the two had appeared to mend fences after Trump was elected. They were photographed dining together as Trump mulled making Romney his secretary of state, and the President endorsed Romney’s Senate bid last year.

Romney wrote in Tuesday’s op-ed that he agreed with some of the policy changes Trump has championed. “But policies and appointments are only a part of a presidency,” he wrote.

“A president should demonstrate the essential qualities of honesty and integrity, and elevate the national discourse with comity and mutual respect. … And it is in this province where the incumbent’s shortfall has been most glaring.”

I never thought I would say this but I already miss Jeff Flake. Here is the quote that made the news media’s panties moist:

To a great degree, a presidency shapes the public character of the nation. A president should unite us and inspire us to follow “our better angels.” A president should demonstrate the essential qualities of honesty and integrity, and elevate the national discourse with comity and mutual respect. As a nation, we have been blessed with presidents who have called on the greatness of the American spirit. With the nation so divided, resentful and angry, presidential leadership in qualities of character is indispensable. And it is in this province where the incumbent’s shortfall has been most glaring.

He sure talks purty, don’t he? That kind of lofty rhetoric is the reason that he got his ass kicked by Barack Obama.

Mitt ran for president twice, and both times he failed to generate any enthusiasm among the voters. The first time he lost to Mr. Charisma, John McCain, who had no money. The second time he won the nomination after a primary that saw several ABM candidates (Anybody but Mitt) surge into the lead briefly and then stumble and fall. Finally, the GOP voters gave up searching for an alternative and nominated Mitt.

Mitt lost the election to Obama. One major factor in that loss was the failure of the GOP base to get out and vote. If they didn’t like Mitt then, what makes him think they’ll support him now?

If/when Mitt runs he’ll be Jeb!!

He’ll raise a bunch of money from the rich guys who own the party but there will be no enthusiasm from the base. The media will make Mitt out to be a contender but he won’t win a single Primary or Caucus outside of Utah and he might not win that one either.

After he drops out the media will ask, “How did Mitt blow it?” A few months after Trump’s 2nd inaugural, Mitt will retire from the Senate. He only took that job to use it as a springboard into running for POTUS anyway.

And he will trash Trump in his resignation/retirement notice.

So why are some people urging Mitt to run?

They are hoping that Mitt will wound Trump badly enough that the Democrats can take the White House.

Y’all know I was scratching this itch all morning.  I wanted to “new post” this graphic so baddddd 😉  I also screwed up the WP thingamajig-linkz.  VB Open Thread Fail, but looks like the graphic werked. 🙂

Strap In – Romney Didn’t Wake Up This Morning and Haphazardly Write an Op-Ed to Attack The President of His Own Political Party…

Apparently NBC was worried that CNN would steal the “Worst New Year’s Eve Broadcast” award this year.

NBC’s New Year’s Eve show left many viewers appalled by a co-host and baffled by its last-second omission of the countdown clock.

During and after the broadcast, negative comments poured in on social media, with some calling the program a “complete disaster” and “trainwreck” for an evening of blunders.

“NBC this is the worst New Years Show ever!!!” wrote one user.

“NBC Is AWFUL!!!! What a horrible New Years program. They literally ruin everything they broadcast!” wrote another.

The show’s lineup featured co-hosts Carson Daly, Chrissy Teigen, Leslie Jones, and Keith Urban. Criticism was particularly directed at Teigen, who devoted a segment to discussing “vaginal steaming.”

Chrissy Teigen only has two talents, and during an outdoor broadcast from NYC she wouldn’t be able to whip them out. Meanwhile, Anderson Cooper over at CNN demonstrated that without Kathy Griffin holding him back he is still terrible.

This is an open thread.