The Way of Cats helps you understand, train, and love your pet cat

Success! The crowd showed up

Posted on June 20, 2017 by Pamela Merritt

It took a week.

Saturday morning we created separate bedroom cuddle sessions with Reverend Jim and Olwyn, after bringing them downstairs in a carrier. This has gone better each time we’ve done it, with lessening vocal complaints and more time spent exploring.

This time, we even got them purring in our arms. That night, when mealtime arrived, everyone showed up in Shirehouse.

So, are we done? Of course not. This was an exploratory expedition. They haven’t done it since.

time frames

The way our cats experience time is not at all the way humans do. They have an exquisite sense of schedules. But when they don’t initiate the changes they experience, they are much slower to accept them.

The humans who do make the changes don’t have those problems. We forget that to our immense frustration. I hear it all the time: “It’s been x days/weeks/months and my cat still won’t accept the new kitten/go in the renovated kitchen/be friends with my new love interest.”

We can’t get impatient. Cats go at their own speed, which also varies by cat. Tristan plunged in from the very beginning. Olwyn is still pouty and impatient about being downstairs at all.

If we have driven a certain car for a long time, and then drive a different one, we can get our reflexes a bit tangled. If the turn signal is on the opposite side now, or we reach for a radio button that isn’t there, we realize we are not in our comfort zone any more.

This is what is happening to our cat in the new space; except it is all the time.

sense of responsibility

In terms of successful transition, we are working backwards from cats who have little sense of responsibility (Tristan) to cats who have quite a lot (Olwyn.) How can Olwyn run this new thing if she doesn’t understand it yet? She’s naturally going to be slower about acceptance than a cat who finds the whole thing sheer exploratory fun.

Another advantage Tristan has is that he’s been familiar with the whole place all his life. He’s played Stairball all the way down to the lobby, and his buddy Mithrandir is often right alongside him. So this explains how Mithy became our second cat to visit and become comfortable there. In the course of a weekend day, he will visit Shirehouse six or seven times.

Likewise, Mithy does not feel responsible for managing things in the home. He’s still a baby, and Reverend Jim and Olwyn are happy to run things. It is their management skill that is making these two so cautious.

For Olwyn, this has been a massive upset to her precious routines. Why has everything gone off the rails? Her humans aren’t where we are supposed to be and there’s pieces of furniture vanished and Tristan is gone for hours and suddenly, all is mayhem.

Reverend Jim is missing the automatic hugs he gets at bedtime and his perch within my petting distance on the back of the couch, which is my favorite place to work. They are both used to having Mr WayofCats around all the time, for consultation and affection and reassurance of their world working as they expect.

Now, he’s spending a lot of that time downstairs.

sense of perspective

That evening, I was startled to look up from my book and see Olwyn standing there. She was in her own exploratory mode, which has none of the exuberance of Tristan, or even the curiosity of Mithy. Her expression clearly indicated she does not approve, but is willing to inspect, the new premises.

Minutes later, Reverend Jim appeared (probably the length of time he needed to realize he was alone up there) and began a high speed tour of his own. On one of his other trips he had gotten frightened by our new kitchen; it looked like a kitchen, but it had all the parts in the wrong places! This time, the sound of cans being opened overcame his misgivings. That, at least, was working the way it should.

There wasn’t a lot of after dinner lingering from the two oldest, either. The weirdness of it all bothered Olwyn first, and while RJ lingered at that tantalizing new window, he also ran upstairs shortly after she did. We had high hopes they would come down again at some point, but it was not to be. They were still pondering.

It was a trial run.

The big question for Olwyn and Reverend Jim was about meal service. It was the right time, and even though it was the wrong place and the wrong bowls, the food was what they were expecting. I am happy they ventured forth, and I am sure they will do so again.

I just don’t know when.

Our cats are equal parts curiosity and caution. Of course, it depends a lot on what kind of cat type they are.

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Acceptance Rate at 50%

Posted on June 16, 2017 by Pamela Merritt

After a week and a half, we reached the halfway point: two cats who move happily from the old place to the new place.

This makes it seem that full acceptance will be a long process. Which would be correct.

Tristan has been exploring all evening! (image shows a tabby cat stretched out near his person's shoes)

Tristan has been exploring all evening! And now he is tuckered out.

Of course, Tristan was excited and willing to explore the moment the subject was discussed. He was there when we first opened the door to Shirehouse (the new, ground floor, apartment.) He was there, camping with us as we cleaned up the new place and waited for our moving people. He was the first to drink from the fountain, eat at the new meal spot, and use the Litter Robot.

We’ve discovered a whole new way of wearing out a high energy Alpha cat type.

willing to explore

I predicted that the next cat to “dive into the pool” would be our still-recovering feral, Mithrandir. Mithy is only three, so he still has a lot of the kitteny openness to new experiences. He’s even more juvenile than his age suggests, because he is a Giant Mutant Kitten who won’t be fully mature until five years old.

Mithrandir reassured by known furniture.

Mithy is a Beta Cat Type. He’s used to his humans handling things instead of being paws-on like Tristan. Showing him an empty room, even with us in it, was too disturbing. Mithy likes places to hide, and he couldn’t see any when we first brought him down in the cat carrier.

Since he was vocal (though subdued) about his uncertainty, we let him run right back upstairs again during the first introduction. His second escorted visit was radically different. It was after we had put all the old and new furniture in their proper places. Now when he looks at the room, it is more familiar, and more “habitable.”

Cats always like to know they have a place to retreat to. Tristan enjoys exploring enough that the empty rooms didn’t make him retreat, but he visibly and joyously resumed his investigations when the moving people had cleared out. I brought him down that first evening, and he quickly asked to be let out of my arms, thrilled that he had found out where the couch went.

comfortingly familiar

After lurking in the hallway for about ten minutes, Mithy started venturing forth, making forays into the living room. This was a space he found more understandable. Furniture, and his humans doing their usual things on that furniture, gave him hiding places and a sense of belonging.

Tristan’s reaction to finding our missing furniture was a kind of so that’s where it went! reaction. This is when he committed fully to treating this space as home. He found favorite high up hangout spots; we nixed the fireplace mantel and guided him to the top of the same bookcases he was used to enjoying upstairs. I put Littermint in the Litter Robot and this got him all excited. This created a scent signal that reassured him that this Robot worked the same way as the one upstairs. Later on, he used it.

Having the place look like a home sends our cats the comfort signals they expect. Tristan had seen the Litter Robot and food dishes in the new space, but had not actually used any of it. When the rest of the place looked like home, too, he was able to put all the pieces together in a reassuring way.

But this didn’t work for our older cats. While they both Betas, they are more invested in the Aerie (the old, third floor, apartment.) Reverend Jim, ten years old, marked his first escorted visit by crouching on the floor and howling. His exploration was minimal and we quickly let him run upstairs again. Olwyn, eight and half, reacted even more strongly; she just crouched on the floor and howled.

When they were escorted in for the second time, they were less distressed, but still somewhat vocal. Olwyn hid under the bed and was sweet-talked by Mr WayofCats until she came out. However, the more she explored, the more upset she became, so we let her explore her way out the door, and Mr WayofCats escorted her back upstairs, both on foot.

Reverend Jim took it better, and he was even somewhat distracted by a tempting new window. Still, about five minutes was his limit, and he took himself upstairs.

I am not discouraged. Each time, they are more comfortable, and leave with soothing information. They know where we are and they know how to get here.

it’s a process

Some cats, like Tristan, eagerly seek out new experiences. Other cats, like Olwyn, find change is best handled in small doses.

Mithrandir, while not up to Tristan’s embrace of the new, did very well. When he found that there was still a place to hide behind the couch, he relaxed enough to take a nap and seek out petting. Olwyn’s complaining upset him, and when she left, he did too. But he had made great progress for one trip, happily spending time with us for several hours. Since then, he has made his own way down the stairs several times, wandered the new bedroom, and pondered the new food dish location. The new “treat spot” has been used and approved.

We kept exposing each cat to the new situation at a pace they chose. Unless the cat happily makes the trip on their own, as Tristan does, we don’t carry them in our arms. We use the carrier. Safety first, for both of us. If Mithy takes too long to come back, we will use the carrier to bring him back to the Aerie. He seems more comfortable even in the new apartment than he is on the stairs that get to it.

If we had a Gamma cat type in our Cat Civilization, this process would be even more elongated. When Mithy commits to the new space more completely, he will be diminishing the company still available to the cats upstairs. Right now, they aren’t lonely, even if humans are not upstairs as often as they used to be. But that can, and will, change.

We will talk to and encourage the unhappy cats, but we don’t trap them in the room with us for longer than a few minutes. This gives them a chance to calm down and reconsider the actual threat level, yet does not put them in distress for long enough to make them more upset.

Tristan is thrilled by the wonderland he has found downstairs. He encountered our new first floor neighbor, got introduced, and let her pet his tummy and tell him how handsome he is. He adores our new bay window, with its interesting views. He now always sleeps in the new bedroom.

Tristan tries to show off all the new areas for fun and all the comforts of home he has found, but so far, only Mithy has listened. Still, we let him know he is helping very much, just by showing the other cats how happy he is in the new space.

We’ll get there. The new place gets less new all the time.

Learn more about how cat personalities react to change with Intelligence by Cat Type.

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Mithy and the Mat Knife

Posted on June 13, 2017 by Pamela Merritt

Mithy recently let me cut off a giant matted spot I have been working on for weeks. He gave me cat kisses and a happy, relaxed face all during this particular session, the longest yet. Because he now knows I’m not trying to hurt him.

I’m trying to un-hurt him.

This was a major breakthrough in many ways. It turns out that our efforts with grooming was a major factor in recovery from his kitten-based feral issues.

start small

Feral cats associate humans with fear and touch with capture. Which is why any kind of affection is so problematical for them. Even exchanging eye blinks from across the room can make them feel apprehensive. Just being in our presence while they are hiding under the bed needs to be done in low doses, and they need breaks from it.

Mr WayofCats grooms all of our cats, from long-haired RJ who needs help with the area around his hips to short-haired Tristan who basically just wants to be “part of the group.” He tried to begin a daily grooming ritual as Mithy became “Sheep Cat.” Mithy got a giant helping of Maine Coon Cat genes, because only now, past the age of three, we are seeing the long, tough, guard hairs that will help him not develop matted fur.

Right now, his matting issues are not as bad as a Persian, but certainly more of a challenge than our other three cats put together. While Mr WayofCats had to start with one stroke, he can now completely groom him. I’ve slowly been removing any knots or mats that the grooming brush has to avoid.

We can expect a lot more cooperation from Mithy going forward. Now that he knows how good such attention makes him feel.

trust practice

It’s hard enough handling a feral cat, but Mithy’s abundant and fluffy coat added to the challenge. He would develop mats so quickly that they were often sore when I encountered them, making them even harder to fix.

Reverend Jim took to grooming right away, and would patently let me cut out the few knots he would develop despite the grooming brush. But Mithy is not just a fearful feral; he’s also a Giant Mutant Kitten with a lot of powerful musculature. I know how to roll a cat in a towel and I had never before had such an unmanageable armful. Even with the help of Mr WayofCats, a muscular fellow in his own right, our occasional cleanups when Mithy’s behind would get dirty would turn into a race against time.

Because he would be getting loose before we were ready to turn him loose. And we had to do that way, so no one would get hurt.

It was one thing to take three sessions in one day to clean Mithy up properly. He didn’t even hold anything against us when we did it; he could understand that we were helping him out, and we weren’t using anything beyond paper towels, soap, and water. But his fearful reflexes meant he wasn’t going to go along with it, either.

The razor sharp mat knife was an entirely different kind of tool. We can’t use scissors; that really ups the risk of injury with such an uncooperative patient. So I picked his smallest and most accessible mat, and waited until he was sleeping. I let him know I was there with soft words and a pat on the head. Then I moved, fast and practiced, with my mat knife. The mat was sawed in half before he could wake up and run away.

He felt only the most momentary tug.

demonstrate utility

Even this one move did wonders for Mithy’s delicate skin. Much of the tension that would constantly be annoying him was now gone. So even though he ran and hid, he didn’t backslide in his socialization from this encounter. He showed up for meals and even exchanged affection as always.

When he looked at me, he wasn’t fearful. He was, instead, puzzled.

He didn’t like it, but he also realized that I had, somehow, helped him by doing that scary thing. The next time I snuck up on him and split another piece of it again, we had the same “fleeing in terror” reaction at the time. But still, he wasn’t holding a grudge either. These encounters were not changing his behavior afterwards. He understood that I was doing this to help him. Because it felt so good to release that painful knot.

That is when I knew we could make this work.

With Mr WayofCats getting another stroke or two into each grooming session, with the other cats lining up for their turn and enjoying their treats afterwards (if Mithy fled too soon, he would be missing his treat,) Mithy slowly stopped developing mats and I slowly made inroads into getting rid of all of them.

Until there was only one left. The trickiest one.

my white whale

In the literature classic Moby Dick, Captain Ahab is obsessed with tracking down the whale he held responsible for the loss of his leg. This happened to be the biggest and smartest whale in the ocean; no point in a short book when this was going to be such a difficult task.

Likewise, Mithy had developed a mat in a very touchy area; quite near the delicate tissues of his behind. To add to the challenge, he could obscure it by tucking in his tail (which he did) and taking off if my hand came near there (which he did) and even sleeping in ways and places that made access impossible (which he did.)

Until this mat was the last one left.

Fortunately, I had reached the point where I would start sawing on a mat and get a little more time, all the time, to work on it. Mithy had developed the ability to control his fear and not… flee… right… away. That is how I got all the others out of his fur.

So I picked my moment and angle, and managed to get maybe three hairs cut from the least sensitive part of this most touchy place.

I watched Mithy flee into the hallway. I saw him come back to the doorway and look at me. He still took off when I made the slightest move, but when he came back to see me, I knew he understood. These little delays and moments of trust got longer and longer, until the happy day I could grab the stupid thing and saw it completely off while Mithy struggled (but not too much) and tried to get away (but not too hard.)

At last. We have a happy boy with lovely fur who isn’t suffering from the constant pinching and stress of those awful mats. We have a trusting boy who looks me and I can tell he is thinking, “They do things but they seem to be good things.”

Either of us can pet him without him flinching away. He seeks us out.

Three years ago, when I took kitten Mithy in my hands and he looked up at me with pleading eyes, I knew we could work with him. He might not ever become the kind of totally trusting cat our other three cats are. But as time goes on, Mithy can show he loves us, more and more.

And he lets us show that we love him, too.

Choose the right dematting tool for the job.

Find out more about Mithy’s journey to tame with Curing Mithrandir, the feral cat.

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