Anonymous Senior White House Official Falls Through the Ceiling

Reporters were sent scrambling Tuesday after a mouse dropped out of the ceiling of NBC News’ booth in the press area of the White House — right onto correspondent Peter Alexander’s lap.

Hardly surprising, given the location.

By all accounts, the mouse is still on the loose after escaping and was last seen running wild in the White House press briefing room. Which leads me to believe it wasn’t a mouse after all but rather a mole – otherwise known to the New York Times as an “anonymous senior Trump official.”

  NOTE: story filed by Little MO

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Rules

"Other kids' games are such a bore!
They gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre! 

— Calvin and Hobbes

What can you do if you can’t win in the arena of ideas? Well, if you’re on the Dems’ team you…

Change the Senate filibuster rules, pack the Supreme Court, allow propagandized children to vote, get rid of the Electoral College and, most recently, change the requirement that whistleblowers have firsthand knowledge of an event they blow the whistle on. It’s like political Calvinball, named after Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes, who has no patience for games with rules:.

Calvinball has no rules; the players make up their own rules as they go along, making it so that no Calvinball game is like another. Rules cannot be used twice (except for the rule that rules cannot be used twice).

TV Tropes explains a bit more thoroughly.

Calvinball is a game which we see characters play but whose rules we don't know. This allows authors to create games that are absurdly silly, complicated, or arcane.

It's particularly useful to show crazy or destructive characters wreaking mayhem in what looks to the audience like organized chaos…

It also explains other games previously popularized by Dems before Calvinball was invented:

…if the basic rules are described to the audience in any way, or if the game already exists in Real Life and audiences can look it up, then it's not Calvinball. You may instead be dealing with The Points Mean Nothing (where the game is explained but the scoring is arbitrary); Moving the Goalposts (where the game is explained but characters try to change the rules to their own advantage); Gretzky Has the Ball (where the sport is real but the characters play it like Calvinball); Artistic License – Sports (where the sport is real but just inaccurately portrayed); Screw the Rules, I Have Plot! (where the fictional game is technically defined but inconsistently portrayed); or Gameplay Roulette (where the rules are defined, but the game itself unpredictably changes them on the players).

When a sport doesn't exist in real life, but has defined rules that can be followed, it's a Fictional Sport.

Now do you understand?

Mirrorless Monday: Common Sense Control

Just because some people don’t know how to use a mirror properly…

Rachel Dolezal

Hillary Clinton

Barack Obama

Adam Schiff

doesn’t mean the rest of us need to get rid of ours. Still, it would be nice if those who abuse their right to use mirrors would just step away from them voluntarily.

But since that’s not going to happen we’ll settle for Mirrorless Mondays. Consider it “common sense mirror control.”

Someone Has To Honk

Since yesterday was dedicated to the dogs it seems only fair to dedicate today’s post to the cats. Unlike the dogs, I got no help from the cats. Like your computer they’re unreliable that way.

I’ll finish when I feel like it, Karen.

And they seem a bit more ambivalent to autumn’s beauty.

  Sure, it’s lovely…

But do you think you could rake these up Karen? It’s making it hard for me to creep up on the chipmunks.

Nor are they particularly fond of fall rain.

Another rainy day, guess I’ll have to find something to play with inside.

 Okay, maybe playing in that box of snow wasn’t the best idea,

but it’s still better than the real thing.

I guess I’ll just be driving from now till next spring if I need to go somewhere.

Besides, the world really needs me behind the wheel.

Dogs Can Reaffirm Your Faith In Humanity, Something Many Humans Can’t Do

The world is going to the dogs. Maybe they are more worthy.

Instead of whining about it all the time they welcome climate change with open paws,

and embrace it with reckless abandon

while waiting patiently for the next climate change to happen.

Never once do they yip at you about your carbon footprint

or snarl “how dare you!” at you. They think if you are responsible for this climate change thing you must be a god.

And if they do get a little preachy they’re really just lobbying for extra portions…of beef.

So I dedicate this first official Saturday of autumn to all the dogs: the doggies you love, have loved and will ever love. Where would we be without them?

P.S. If MichellenotThatone is around she might share the results of Clover’s DNA test during halftime. I understand it was a bit surprising.

I See Whistleblowers Everywhere

Democrats have been seeking another Watergate ever since the last one. As the “news” media is made up exclusively of Woodwards and Bernsteins today all they needed was to locate a new Deep Throat.

They thought they finally had one in the latest whistleblower portending to have evidence of an impeachable crime involving the President and Ukraine. Two problems: 1) his “evidence” was based on hearsay and 2) no crime, impeachable or otherwise, was committed. That would be ‘game over’ in the real world but not so in the arena of political theatre. Expect it to continue playing at least through the holidays.

You might wish to invest in more Boy Scout popcorn

If Congress wants to hear from a whistleblower who might have some firsthand knowledge of the situation involving a quid pro quo with the Ukrainian government I’d suggest they go directly to the source:

“Play that funky music white boy…”

Throwback Thursday: Nancy’s Great Migration

For today’s throwback I thought it would be fun to look back over the years and track the great migration of Nancy Pelosi’s eyebrows.

Note that as a bright, starry-eyed ingenue Nancy’s brows started out in the position designated by the golden ratio. At this time she was busy learning her political skills from her father, Baltimore Democratic Mayor Thomas D'Alesandro Jr.. She was responsible for managing his book of people who owed him political favors.

The brows were still positioned appropriately after marrying and moving to California in the early 60s. Here we see them in 1976 while she was working on the presidential campaign of former California Gov. Pat Brown.

By 1984 we see the beginning of the great migration

when she was appointed head of the Democratic National Committee's San Francisco host committee, specializing in raising money for the state’s left-leaning candidates.

Still a bit north of that golden ratio sweet spot when she ran and won a House seat in 1987:

By 1996 Nancy and her eyebrows, anxious to advance, sponsored a bill sanctioning China for violating US copyrights. She urged President Clinton to pressure China to live up to its agreement to protect US software. During that same term she also passionately opposed the Republicans’ impeachment of President Clinton, which she categorized as a hate filled gesture.

Some 20 years on and her eyebrows and forehead both seem to have continued their migration north while her policies and boobs head south.

She no longer believes that China has to live up to any trade rules or agreements, and she no longer sees anything wrong with a presidential impeachment driven by" “vengeance.”

Moral: All borders are arbitrary, nobody is illegal except President Trump and stretching in Washington is a way of life -  be the truth or your skin.

Oh, and when your eyebrows mimic the barrel ceiling in the background it might be time to stop.

Enmity Sells

Madame Speaker hasn’t always felt the same way about impeachment, because in her line of business it always depends on whose ox is being gored.

Nancy Pelosi in 1998 on impeachment: "We are here today because the Republicans in the House are paralyzed with hatred ... and until the Republicans free themselves of this hatred our country will suffer" pic.twitter.com/9sYt5rLLVk

— Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) September 25, 2019

Hence our new battle cry: If you’ve nothing concrete, you must impeach! Because these funds aren’t going to raise themselves.

And Madame Pelosi knows that her base wants what she’s selling.