joke bank - Popular Jokes

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.

Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.