I want to start a whole series on this idea. Taking the T out of Traditions! What is the T? Can you guess? The T for this series stands for trauma! I recently visited a wonderful friend at her workspace. During our lunch hour, we discussed the heavy word (didn't realize it was heavy until she asked the question to this diverse group) TRADITION. Most of the group froze, had to think hard, and a few jumped in with food traditions as we are all looking forward to the holidays. I loved sharing and hearing from everyone. The diversity of the group also brought me a lot of joy. Some who celebrate Chanukah talked about how Christmas traditions in their community brought them joy, and another who was not Jewish discussed how she looks forward to a Latke party each year. I loved how religion or no religion, across the diversity of our chosen lunch bunch of that day, we focused on the idea of Tradition.

Now, why am I focusing on the T? I was really struck by the ability of older generations to keep the family traditions alive. After hearing a few stories like, "When I was young, we would go to my grandparents' house and..." I quickly realized how the newer generations relied on the grandparents to take the lead on all traditions. One person shared that they no longer follow a certain tradition since their grandparents passed away. The LOAD of TRAUMA behind gathering a large family, making everyone feel loved, valued, accepted, AND celebrating around food that many do not agree on the recipes, is a daunting and possibly IMPOSSIBLE task. It made me think. Why is tradition so hard?

Tradition is defined as: the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way. Defined it sounds beautiful, tangible, exciting. A way to pass on a legacy, something you love with those we love. The reality, on the other hand, seems complex. For example: where do we celebrate, what time (we're very busy), who's in charge, do we allow for that one person who always bothers us to come wink, which food allergies does everyone have, do we just want to order in this year or go out, maybe a destination celebration so we can make it fair on everyone who has to travel....the list GOES ON! We take something that's from the heart, that is even from our SOUL that needs to be nourished and turn it into a tircha, a bother.

So if you know me, I don't believe that sitting in a problem is an option. That is the main problem in life and creates more problems. Life is about action and living each day and moment since it is way too short. So I give us a challenge. Whether we were close with our grandparents growing up (I pick grandparents since our memories are more beautiful and with a clearer lens of the heart), imagine arriving at their doorstep for a Thanksgiving meal. What smells do you smell outside the door? Are you feeling those butterflies as you anticipate a hug that gives you love that sustains for years and years? What conversations are you participating in? How does it feel to slow down, turn off the noise of life, and commit to family for a few days or a time when we are focused on gratitude for what we have? Can you picture it? Note imagine the perfect scenario for this exercise, it doesn't have to be a memory that actually happened.

Now the action part. We can feel it, see it, smell it, even taste it (love those yams..mmm) that feeling we feel is the tradition. Not the actions that we get lost in, but those feelings. Whenever we get lost in the noise of life: what I call the TRAUMA in life, the to-do lists, never-ending list of demands, the fight for time, we only get stuck. We cannot move and enjoy the possibilities tradition can bring us, our family, our legacy. Whenever we get caught up in this Trauma of perfection or how it should be (oy the word I never use anymore), go back to the feelings we just tapped into. Those are the feelings we need to pass on. The feelings that really are tradition. The feelings that are at the heart of Thanksgiving.

I hope you joined me as we connected back to our hearts. May this focus bring us closer to the traditions we love this Thanksgiving. May it remind us that we choose each day and can create the legacy we want through the lens we create. So let's honor our T - the trauma of the day, the to-do lists we have, the turkey we hope doesn't burn so many T words. Then move on into the heart of it all. That is the only mark we need to hit this year. We have a week to reorganize and make sure those ingredients we really need are present at our table next week.

Happy Thanksgiving! Sending love to you all!

With three amazing kids challenging me every day, I have officially given up the idea of the perfect mom/partner/person I once internalized. The one who is the opposite of all the amazing things I am: messy, funny, quirky, an incredible listener, and someone with a superpower for knowing when energy or feelings are off (and many times can jump in and help regulate). When acting as "perfect" I was turning these powers off. I immediately went from the best me inside (who is beautifully "imperfect" on the outside) to a stressed out, hard-working, pintrest dropout! Oy, we've all been there, I'm sure. Embracing the slow down is what is fueling me now to NEVER SLOW DOWN in my current state.

So how to get the momentum you need to never slow dow? Learn to slow down to go within.

Let's break it down to 3 steps for this week!

1. Find that spark inside of you unfiltered by the constant noise that we were programmed to listen to. How? Meditate, listen to your favorite music (Abbie Strauss music is quite nice for this wink), enjoy nature, allow life to just be so you can just be...the list goes on!!

2. Embrace the reasons why you love doing what you're doing. Connecting to your kids by active listening or going for a simple walk, tapping into the kid inside who might be able to connect better to your child's issues/feelings, or the ability to show how being yourself is ALWAYS enough and that is more stable than a perfect/unreachable expectation.

3. Tap into your heart and dreams that you haven't explored in a while. Commit to exploring, dreaming, and following that spark. Have fun with this!

Notice how I didn't say, "3 easy steps." Take your time to embrace and celebrate you. I promise that once you follow these 3 steps you will feel energized and have the momentum you need to NEVER SLOW DOWN! Dive into you! Don't waste another day. Let's turn off the noise around and shine our best selves out into this world.

Share your thoughts below!

With Love and Light,

Abbie