Splinter

Don't Dream, It's Over

Splinter — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 19:51:00 GMT

There is no real origin story for Splinter.

Conservative Journalist Tries to Shame AOC for Participating in Society

Naomi LaChance — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 03:30:00 GMT

The Washington Times’ legal affairs reporter Alex Swoyer reported in an “EXCLUSIVE” piece Wednesday that New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently visited a salon in downtown Washington, D.C.

Joe Biden Calls for Trump's Impeachment for the Very First Time

Naomi LaChance — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 02:10:00 GMT

On Wednesday, for the first time during Donald Trump’s extremely long and excruciating presidency, former Vice President and Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden said that Trump should be impeached.

Chicago Releases Investigation Showing 16 Police Officers Helped Cover Up the Killing of Laquan McDonald

Naomi LaChance — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 23:50:00 GMT

On Wednesday, the city of Chicago released a watchdog report showing an alleged cover-up following the 2014 police killing of black teenager Laquan McDonald.

Only Rihanna Is Allowed to Talk About Politics From Now On

Samantha Grasso — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 20:51:00 GMT

Rihanna has never shied away from getting political, and her latest interview for the cover story in Vogue was a prime example of her willingness to speak truth to power (even though her interviewer was disturbingly underprepared).

“2018 was the first that a 60-40 portfolio,” the sort of cheap and simple portfolio an average inves

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 20:25:00 GMT

“2018 was the first that a 60-40 portfolio,” the sort of cheap and simple portfolio an average investor like you might have, “outpaced all Ivy [League] endowments in terms of 10-year performance.” All of Harvard’s brilliant investment managers are a mathematically certified waste of space.

Uber and Lyft Drivers Talk About Getting Ripped Off

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 19:03:00 GMT

After a monumental political battle, California passed AB5, a law that will make it much harder for gig economy companies to classify their workers as “independent contractors.” Now, the same political battle is coming to New York. That means it’s a perfect time to hear from Uber and Lyft drivers, in their own words.

This Really Went Places

Jack Mirkinson — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 18:15:00 GMT

Sometimes.....the internet just really, like, goes places. So it was today after a series of events led me to type these words: “The Good Place star Jameela Jamil was embroiled in a Twitter controversy over her tweet about George W. Bush.” Yes it sounds like Mad Libs, but this is a news site, it’s all real!

Bin Laden In the Shell

Katherine Krueger — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 17:51:00 GMT

Breaking shell news: Osama bin Laden found, in the image of a shell picked up on an English beach.

New Book Reportedly Details Dozens of New Sexual Misconduct Allegations Against Trump

Paul Blest — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 16:36:00 GMT

Before today, President Donald Trump had been publicly accused of sexual harassment and/or assault by two dozen women. Most recently, the writer E. Jean Carroll accused Trump of violently sexually assaulting her in the dressing room of a department store more than two decades ago. Now, a new book details dozens of new…

A Guide to Today's Juiciest Feud Featuring Two British Footballers' Wives and a Fake News Sting

Jack Crosbie — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 15:17:00 GMT

Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy may not be household names for much of the United States, unless you have a particular form of brain poisoning that comes from caring deeply about English Premier League soccer. But today, for one bright shining moment, you should know them both, because they’re at the center of the…

Hey I'll Be Over Here If You Need Me

Paul Blest — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 14:57:00 GMT

As the Ukraine scandal continues to escalate and President Donald Trump inches closer and closer to just declaring himself God King for Life, one particularly prominent White House figure has been basically nowhere to be seen: Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney.

NBC News Comes Out of Ronan Farrow's New Book Looking Horrible

Jack Mirkinson — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 14:35:00 GMT

The Hollywood Reporter has a long feature out about Ronan Farrow’s new book Catch and Kill and boy is it deeply unflattering for NBC News.

Celebs Rush to Defend Ellen's Friendship With George W. Bush, Awwww

Samantha Grasso — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 14:13:00 GMT

Ellen Degeneres doesn’t even want to acknowledge the real reason why people aren’t chill about her friendship with George W. Bush, but sure famous folks, go off:

The President Is Mad Online

Katherine Krueger — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 13:31:00 GMT

I regret to inform you that it’s Wednesday morning and the president is tweeting madly.

Former NBC News Employee Accuses Matt Lauer of Raping Her

Naomi LaChance — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 12:16:00 GMT

Former Today show host Matt Lauer has been accused of raping a colleague in 2014. According to a report published in Variety, investigative reporter Ronan Farrow’s new book Catch and Kill outlines the allegations that led to his 2017 firing from the Today show.

This Senior Interior Official Has Had Major Trump Brain for More Than Two Decades

Naomi LaChance — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

William Perry Pendley, a senior interior official, has cast doubt on climate change and made xenophobic comments, according to a report from CNN published on Tuesday.

PG&E Announces Plans to Cut Power in California

Naomi LaChance — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 02:10:00 GMT

Pacific Gas & Electric announced plans to shut off power in central and northern California on Tuesday. About 800,000 customers in 34 counties—millions of people—will be affected on Wednesday.

Bernie Sanders Following Last Week's Heart Attack: 'I Am Extremely Motivated in This Fight'

Naomi LaChance — Wed, 09 Oct 2019 00:07:00 GMT

Presidential candidate and Sen. Bernie Sanders that he would change his campaign strategy to prioritize his health. Last week, Sanders suffered a heart attack in Las Vegas, NV. On Saturday, he returned home to Burlington, VT.

White House Declares War On the Democrats' Impeachment Effort

Rafi Schwartz — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 21:47:00 GMT

The White House on Tuesday afternoon released an eight-page letter outlining why it would not be cooperating in the Democrats’ ongoing impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump.

What's Up With Rudy Giuliani's Brain

Paul Blest — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 20:29:00 GMT

Donald Trump lawyer and former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani is perpetually on one, but his best material usually comes out while he’s screaming on the phone at a reporter in a taxi orholding up his trusty iPad o’crimes on a cable television network. On Tuesday, he decided to take a page out of his most famous…

Trump's Ukraine Call Reportedly Terrified Top Official

Rafi Schwartz — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 20:05:00 GMT

President Donald Trump has repeatedly insisted his now-infamous call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was “perfect” and not—as is plain to see to anyone who is not a MAGA chud—an open invitation to meddle in the upcoming presidential election. But according to a new report from ABC News, not everyone in the…

The Supreme Court's Landmark LGBTQ Rights Hearing Was Full of Conservative Idiocy

Jack Mirkinson — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 18:15:00 GMT

The Supreme Court heard arguments today in a set of potentially landmark LGBTQ rights cases. So how did it go? The answer, it seems, is“a hell of a lot shakier than anyone who believes in LGBTQ rights should be comfortable with.”

This Is the Dumbest Controversy

Samantha Grasso — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 17:25:00 GMT

If your sticking point on Elizabeth Warren is that she’s “flip-flopping” on her story about getting fired because of her pregnancy, your head is full of rocks, and if you emptied it out, you’d simply float away.

A Brief History of NRA Employees Editing Wikipedia for Fun and Possibly Profit

Molly Osberg and Dhruv Mehrotra — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 17:03:00 GMT

The grammar on Wikipedia’s Holocaust Denial page didn’t fix itself. Someone, perhaps finished with their paperwork for the day but still chained to a desk around 5:40 on a June afternoon, noticed a single missing preposition in their perusal of the page’s 12,000 words. It should have read “in his view,” not “as his…

Wall Street Is Legitimately Worried About Warren

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 15:38:00 GMT

Much of the business of Wall Street is “managing risk,” and at the moment, analysts agree they have a scary risk named “Elizabeth Warren.”

The Impeachment Plot Thickens Yet Again

Rafi Schwartz — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 15:13:00 GMT

The congressional impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump’s Ukraine scandal took another twist on Tuesday, with the chair of the House Intelligence Committee accusing the State Department of withholding potentially incriminating text messages and emails belonging to EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland.

A Majority of Americans Want Impeachment

Samantha Grasso — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 14:25:00 GMT

Amid President Donald Trump’s insistence that this should all go away, most Americans support the impeachment inquiry into Trump, and almost half of supporters say they also support removing the president from office, according to a new Washington Post-Schar School poll.

Democrats Can't Stop Trying to Shoot Themselves in the Foot

Paul Blest — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 14:01:00 GMT

When Nancy Pelosi was finally dragged into launching an impeachment inquiry last month, it felt as though the Democrats had finally turned a corner from talking about the existential threat to the country posed by Trump to acting like they might do something about it. And despite the worries from Pelosi and other…

Trump Is Making a Huge Mess and No One's Happy

Rafi Schwartz — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 13:17:00 GMT

Less than 24 hours after threatening to “totally destroy and obliterate” the economy of Turkey if they dare challenge his “great and unmatched wisdom” following his decision to allow them to invade Northern Syria, President Donald Trump praised the country on Tuesday as “good to deal with” and an “important member in…

Ellen Staunchly Defends Her Nauseating Friendship With George W. Bush

Naomi LaChance — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 12:27:00 GMT

On Tuesday, Ellen DeGeneres responded to criticism of her revolting appearance with former president and creator of global misery George W. Bush at a Dallas Cowboys game—in private seats which she described as “very fancy.”

Ron DeSantis Strong Contender for Most Dangerous, Out-of-Control Florida Man Yet

Naomi LaChance — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 04:00:00 GMT

In Florida, felons are pushing to be able to vote in the upcoming presidential election without having to risk returning to jail over it. After voters approved a state constitutional amendment securing voting rights for felons in November 2018, Republican lawmakers have been determined to block the change.

Wow, Domino's Put a Whole Lot of Effort Into Fighting Disability Rights

Naomi LaChance — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 01:55:00 GMT

The U.S. Supreme Court decided on Monday to reject an appeal over whether Domino’s Pizza should make its websites and apps compliant with federal disabilities law.

Surprisingly, Corporate Lobbyists Don't Like Bernie Sanders' Plan to Limit Corporate Lobbying

Naomi LaChance — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 23:20:00 GMT

Vermont Sen.and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders launched a proposal to curb corporate lobbying on Monday, drawing criticism from none other than... corporate lobbyists.

Uhhhhh What Was Going on at the Pentagon Today?

Jack Mirkinson — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 21:59:00 GMT

So, uh, what’s all this about at the Pentagon?

Democrats Shocked to Find They’re in an Actual Primary

Jack Crosbie — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 21:15:00 GMT

The 2020 Democratic primary is well underway, and to the great dismay of some political commentators, it does appear to be an actual primary. Who would have thought!

A Take Written by an Idiot, Signifying Nothing

Katherine Krueger — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 20:48:00 GMT

I knew I was going to hate Chris Cillizza’s latest phone-in #analysis on Sen. Bernie Sanders’ heart procedure from the onset but, as is Cillizza’s unique gift, he surpassed my expectations.

Meat Watch: Meaty Petey the Toothsome Astronaut

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 20:17:00 GMT

Meats are out there. That much we know. But where?

Behold, for the Hog Revolution Is Nigh

Jack Crosbie — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 19:37:00 GMT

Two items of news have come to my attention today that make me all but certain our near future will be dominated by a race of massive, vindictive, technologically advanced hogs.

Who Will Be the 'Blood Sacrifice' on the Succession Season Finale? Our Guesses

Splinter — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 19:13:00 GMT

Next week is the season two finale of HBO’s legendary series about knitwear, power blazers, and intensely symmetrical hairstyles, Succession—and after a chaotic-evil Congressional testimony, someone is going down. A “blood sacrifice,” as Roy patriarch Logan warns. WHO WILL IT BE??? Our best guesses below. Spoilers!

The Right's Freakout Over the NBA Hong Kong Scandal Is Dripping With Hypocrisy

Paul Blest — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 18:51:00 GMT

The main basketball story in the world right now is that Houston Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey tweeted his support of the ongoing protests in Hong Kong, the Chinese government reacted by hitting the NBA right where it hurts—in the wallet—and the NBA reacted to that by folding rather spectacularly.

I BEG YOU NOOOOOOO

Katherine Krueger — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 17:11:00 GMT

I beg you like never before: please dear lord no.

Trump Brain Status: Turkey, Roasted

Rafi Schwartz — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 16:19:00 GMT

As more and more Republicans find the vestigial remains of what could at one time have passed for a spine to speak out against the White House’s surprise decision to allow Turkey to invade Northern Syria, President Donald Trump sure seems to be handling the mounting criticism well.

Homeland Security Chief Gets Gloriously Booed Off Stage by Immigration Protesters

Samantha Grasso — Mon, 07 Oct 2019 15:59:00 GMT

It’s a dark day in Washington, DC, when the Trump administration is stopped short of speaking more lies.