Spatchcockery Afoot

I was faffing about in the curtilage feeling a bit chuffed that I had just come up with such a great idea for dinner: I would spatchcock a chook.

Say what? If I could get away with it, this is how I would speak. But adding just one more eccentricity to my already long list might prove to be the tipping point for those I hold near and dear. So I refrain….for the most part.

I have a mad passion for the words and phrases lost to time or used only by those “other” English-speakers…you know who I mean, the original ones across the pond and their cousins in Australia and New Zealand. Here a sampling of just a few deliciously obscure terms:

“The pink limit!” A friend and I were “simul-reading” a D. E. Stevenson novel and both of us, avid word-lovers, pounced on this obsolete British phrase eagerly. She researched it and found it to mean the equivalent of something like “the last straw.”  “What do you mean, you’re out of gin? That is just the pink limit!”

“Dash it” or “Dash it to bits”. Thanks this time to one of my favorite authors, P. G. Wodehouse. How I adore him. That will be a subject of another post….I digress….his wonderful Bertie uses “Dash it” with charming regularity. It conveys just the perfect dollop of civilized annoyance. “Why didn’t I buy those awesome iced tea glasses? Dash it!!”

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Closely related is “dashed.” It’s a dashed lovely thing and although they have nearly identical meanings, it’s infinitely more posh than “wicked.”

Curtilage   Alexander McCall Smith, another great fan of obscure English, wrote a charming Facebook post a few years ago wherein he extolled the virtues of the almost extinct “curtilage.” The curtilage (which autocorrect annoyingly insists on converting to “cartilage,) is the private garden area, usually walled or fenced in, just outside the manse. The curtilage is where one would have a reasonable expectation of privacy from all those pesky estate employees. I expect to hear it used someday on “Downton Abbey.”

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“Faffing about”. Introduced to me by a friend from New Zealand, it means “dilly-dallying”, procrastinating, or idly wasting time. I rather like the sound of “happily faffing about the house”, don’t you? As a matter of fact, I see nothing wrong with developing “faffing about” into an art form.

“Chuffed” Well, this one is fun. It means pleased with oneself. I’m feeling rather chuffed you’ve read this far!

“Fantoosh” Another Alexander McCall Smith favorite, this old Scottish word means garish, ostentatious, over-dressed. “His second wife dresses rather fantoosh, wouldn’t you say?”

“Snaffled”  Take something quickly and without permission – slightly less than outright robbery….one would “snaffle” a swig of port from the decanter when Jeeves isn’t looking.

And “Spatchcock.” This word I heard for the first time in the illustrious Wall St. Journal of all places. How obscure it is, I have no idea but it has a certain ring to it. It is a specific method of flattening a chicken (or chook as the Aussies say.) Makes for more even cooking. We tried it recently:

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Poor little chook. As if appearing in such an undignified pose weren’t enough, now you are about to be spatchcocked!

Take your preferably already postmortem chicken and place on clean dishtowel, backbone up, breasts down.

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With a pair of kitchen shears (or whatever scissors you can find) locate the backbone and start cutting away until the bird is officially spineless.

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Now for the fun part! Flip her over and with your palm, give a good whack or two until you feel it flatten out as much as reasonable.

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Et Voila! A spatchcocked chicken:

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Now give it a good rub with whatever olive oil-based marinade you like, generously salt and pepper, and place on a medium-hot grill until the bird is done to your liking.

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We slathered her up with olive oil and red pepper flakes.

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Made for the tenderest and most evenly cooked chicken ever.

Back to words for a second. It is a favorite thing of mine when odd little words or expressions are shared in a relationship – that secret language that sort of binds you to each other.

What favorite funny words or expressions do you use? Surely I can’t be alone in this quirk, can I?

Chuffed that you visited,

Barbara

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Flying First Class

Earlier this year, I posted about the first of my Personal Principles – Try Kindness First. I do mean to get to the other nine one of these days.

And you may remember the Tennessee Seven. One of those seven rescued Westies got a new home in Colorado with my sister. Which brings me to my story:

Flying First Class

You’ve redeemed a bunch of frequent flyer points to upgrade your seat from Steerage to Somewhat Comfortable and as you take your seat, you notice that next to you sits a slightly frazzled woman comforting a little dog in a carrier under the seat in front of her. Your reaction?

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If you’re the young man who sat next to me on the Richmond to Atlanta leg, you don’t even say good morning as you sit down because you’re on your phone. And during the flight you stay busy with your laptop avoiding eye contact or any interaction. It’s okay, I understand. The world is still totally All About You, and it’s possible we’re going to ruin your flight. You probably don’t imagine that I’ve already thought of that and am worried about it too. You might even be trying to conceal your aggravation when the little dog frantically starts pawing the side of the carrier to get out. I try to comfort her by opening the zipper to stroke her head while murmuring an apology to you. I think you grunt at me. I know you don’t actually speak. I get it all under control in what seems an eternity but surely isn’t. Josie’s sedative finally kicks in and before I know it, we are landing in Atlanta. You pack up your stuff and hustle off that plane without a fare-thee-well. I know. You hate flying.

And if you’re the older gentleman from Arkansas settling into your seat on the final leg to Colorado, you see me too. You politely greet me and ask “What’s this?”

“I’m bringing a little rescue Westie out to Denver. She’s a puppy mill rescue and she is a little frantic at being in this carrier, I’m afraid. I hope we don’t bother you too much.”

You smile and in a soft drawl you reassure me, “Awww. She’ll be just fine.” And I feel a wave of relief come over me that our three hour flight won’t be an ordeal. Not because I’m sure Josie actually will be fine, but because I’m sure you’re kind.

To the gentle Arkansan who flew out to Denver to consult with an orthopedist in Vail for a bad back, who has Bouvier des flandres dogs and is so very kind: Thank you. You’re a class act. First Class.

Thanks for reading,

Barbara

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Summer Lovin’

This week, share a photo that says summer lovin’ to you. It might be a favorite pair of sandals you can’t bear to part with, the homemade salsa you made with veggies from your garden, the flowers you planted, or your family frolicking on the beach.

Summer lovin’? To a gardener, that’s easy. Here the lovely Brite Eyes climbing rose scrambles up the tuteurs as the summer sun sets on the horizon.

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Adventures in Rocinante (or How I Learned to Love Camping)

Part I The Westie Chariot

What’s a girl to do? I had already proven a dismal failure on the golf course, so when Beloved Husband suggested we take up camping, I put on my game face and off we went on a new adventure.

 We set off on our maiden voyage in Rocinante, named after John Steinbeck’s camper in “Travels With Charley,” one of my favorite books. If it’s good enough for Steinbeck, it’s good enough for us.

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Let’s just say I wasn’t a happy camper. Our big mistake was to go to a very large and extremely popular “resort” campground down in Virginia’s river region. Oy vey.

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Uniformed parking attendants met us at the entrance and led us to our campsite which was in a row of other sites in an open field. We were packed in like metallic white sardines with one ironically-named camper (Prowler, Wilderness, Adventurer, Conquest, Nomad) on top of the next. All you could hear was the roar of your neighbors’ air conditioners, their dogs, their kids, their radios…..and when I stepped outside, I could reach out and touch the two campers nearest us. I struggled to keep a stiff upper lip, but there was just no way I was leaving the comforts of home again to spend a weekend like this.

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The idea of getting out and hiking? Fuhgeddabout it, this campground provided golf carts for transportation. Heaven forbid one should actually experience nature while camping. We did walk – on searing asphalt streets – with golf carts whirring past at top speed loaded down with people returning from the camp store.

 

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Thank the heavens above for two things: BH hated it as much as I did AND we discovered the Virginia State Park system. Talk about a chasm in camping experiences. We breathed a huge sigh of relief that Rocinante was not going to be sold before the new-camper smell wore off.

 

State parks are where we should have started to begin with. There are miles of hiking trails which is our big love. Parks have lakes, boating, kayaking, ranger talks, museums, nature exhibits not to mention the incredible scenic beauty of Virginia. And best of all, private wooded campsites!

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Voted “Best in the Nation”, Virginia’s State Park system

Turnabout being fair play, in the state parks you meet the real campers – the tenters – who look at us as disdainfully in our comfortable campers as we look at the resort campers. “Huh! You call THAT camping?” 

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On our most recent trip we went to Stone Mountain State Park in western North Carolina to meet up with Beloved Husband’s brother and his wife who are also avid campers.

Something troubling us this year was what to do with old man Berkley, our fourteen-year-old Westie. He just can’t do the hikes anymore, try as he may. BH to the rescue. He retrofitted one of those baby joggers, we piled old Berkley into it and off we went to hit the trails. 

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“Now what are they up to?”

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Chariot can either be pushed or towed on a bike.

We were in no danger of encountering golf carts on the trails up to the great stone dome, but we did get a few looks from other hikers when they saw the Westie Chariot. Hey, people, we take care of the geriatric around here!

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Now THIS is getting away from it all. Can you imagine this view in fall?

 

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As usual I am the laggard huffing and puffing behind the menfolk.

 Part II The Cosmic Firehose

In the evenings we devour a well-deserved dinner. What is it about food eaten outside that it tastes so much better? On this trip we had just settled in for a huddle around the campfire when we heard some people in the distance racing back to their camper. And all of a sudden the heavens just opened.

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Little do these two know that in five minutes, they’ll be hightailing it under the awning in a torrential downpour. And don’t they look excited to have their picture taken?

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This is what Southerners call a “frog choker.”

During the torrent I texted this photo to a friend with a one-word message: “Rain.” She replied in seconds: “No. Cosmic Firehose.” Yup.

 

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Part III Mayberry

The state parks are often nestled in remote locations near reservoirs or in mountain valleys. Neighboring small towns are fascinating and vaguely sad in their economic decline. We love to patronize the authentic little hamlets still clinging to life in this homogenized world of franchise restaurants and big box stores. Elkin, North Carolina is one of those small southern towns with a Mayberry, RFD feel to it and a faded charm.

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For Lease. I mourn the loss of our downtowns.

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Mural of Stone Mountain

Main Street feels like a relic as too many do nowadays. So many storefronts are closed and the businesses that are there seem almost incidental  – two or three antiques stores, a hardware store, and a few others. This charming little place caught our eye with its “Fountain Service” sign. In we went and what a step back in time!

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Built in 1923, this structure held a pharmacy on the first floor and the town hospital on the second. Can you imagine? In 1924 they added the booths and the soda fountain service. The booths are still there in all their Art Deco glory and are tiny little things….reminding us that people were smaller then. And the best part? The booths have almost 100 years of initials carved into them.

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Floors and booths circa 1924

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How many high school sweethearts sat in these booths, I wonder.

We felt it our civic duty to order chocolate malts. Aaaah, now I’m a happy camper. And I know all this because of the abundant Southern hospitality and friendliness of the establishment’s owner. I could have sat all day just listening to her soft North Carolina accent, y’all.

Next we headed to the neighboring hardware store to see what treasures might be waiting for us. We were not disappointed.

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Everything AND the kitchen sink.

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Ken even has a phaser gun. See what you discover when you get off the beaten track?

 

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I need these like a hole in the head but I’m kicking myself for not buying these circa 1950 iced tea glasses. Dash it.

We have yet to head out for more than a 3-day trip in Rocinante, but someday we plan to be real road warriors and do a week or two. Stay tuned.

And we really do have such a beautiful country.

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 And thanks for reading,

The Happy Camper

 

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Containers

Boxes, tanks, wrappers: for this week’s Photo Challenge, show us something that contains something else.

While in Colorado recently, I visited my brother and his wife. They live in an adobe-style house nestled in the Rocky Mountain foothills and have a wonderful collection of Acoma Indian pottery. In this photo we have two containers in one: niche contains pot.

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The Secret

I am one of those people who cringe at Public Displays of Affection. It’s one of the few things I actually have in common with Beloved Husband. So I’ll be careful not to commit too egregious a PDA in the rest of this post….

We joke that were we to submit our profiles to eHarmony or any of the internet matchmaking sites, their algorithms would surely have us avoiding each other like the plague. And yet here we are fresh off a celebration of our 40th wedding anniversary.

I’ve never been comfortable in a group of women if the conversation turns to what jerks our husbands are. Yes, he does some of the things I’ve heard other wives complain about: i.e., standing slack-jawed in front of the open refrigerator waiting for the ketchup bottle to ignite as a means of detection but, really, if after forty years together that is the worst thing I can come up with, then I’m a pretty lucky girl.

We were at a party recently where once again we found ourselves the oldest couple there. How quickly we’ve gone from being “the kids” in a gathering to being the hopelessly out-of-touch, untattooed oldsters, but that’s a subject for another blog post.

One of the other couples there was in the throes of new-found love. Both divorced and in their early fifties, they had hooked up via “Christian Mingle” and were in that stage of enchantment with one another where they could just barely refrain from commiting “the act” right there and then. At some point, and most assuredly they didn’t find out from me, the subject of the upcoming 40th anniversary arose. As did the inevitable response:

“Forty years?!? Wow. What’s your secret?”

I have no idea. Is there a secret? I don’t think so. Isn’t each marriage as individual as the people in it?  What works for us would not work for them….or you. 

But actually the secret of our marriage’s success was revealed to me without a lot of fanfare just the other day.

We were having lunch together as we do most days. I made the sandwiches while Beloved Husband doled out the chips. We sat together talking when suddenly I noticed that he was eating the shards from the bottom of the bag. And I was not.

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Please appreciate how difficult he made it for me to get this photo!!

I grabbed my phone to take a picture and a small tussle ensued. “You’re not going to put that in your blog, are you?” Laughing, I told him he better believe I was!!

Forget the shiny baubles, fancy dinners, and lavish trips. The small daily acts of consideration, kindness, and love are what add up to a happy marriage. How do you measure this on eHarmony? I don’t know. But if anybody I loved was getting married, I’d make them test their potential spouse with the almost empty bag of chips. It could save them a lot of trouble. 

And thanks for reading,

Barbara

 

 

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Relic

This week’s challenge is “Relic.” I don’t have any saintly bones lurking in my photo gallery, so I’ll just go with a looser interpretation of something old. And this is old – about 600 years or so assuming it is the original door handle on the ancient cathedral in Germany’s Mosel Valley.

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_photo_challenge/relic/

 

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