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Jackie Hoffman
@
JackieHoffman16
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jackiehoffman.com http://I'm kidding
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17,143
ટ્વીટ્સ
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218
અનુસરી રહ્યાં છે
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17,857
અનુયાયીઓ
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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16 કલાક |
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Remember when you couldn’t whip your phone out on the subway because it would attract thieves? Now anyone who would steal has a better phone than I have
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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16 કલાક |
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Butch you will so burn whatever you eat #Frozenfood
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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16 કલાક |
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Say what you will about my hysteria. My rheumatologist calls me stoic
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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17 કલાક |
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Omg Bill Cosby in jail it’s unimaginable. It’s like sending Fred Flinstone to jail
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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17 કલાક |
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Another reason to keep kosher pic.twitter.com/CqmnxEtqxR
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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18 કલાક |
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My husband purchased a type of Kleenex that feels cold. Not for a cold, the temperature of the tissue feels cold. Why was this product invented
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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20 કલાક |
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I tagged a dollar onto my grocery bill because my supermarket is raising money for beast cancer research. If they didn’t charge $4.99 for lettuce I’d contribute more
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 કલાક |
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Oh did you say to drink 32 oz. of water or Gatorade before this procedure? I thought you said 32 oz. of Pinot Grigio
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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25 સપ્ટે |
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Up until 2 weeks ago I thought that Armando Iannucci and Alejandro González Iñárritu were the same person
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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24 સપ્ટે |
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Merrick Garland tried to make out with me at a party—oh I guess that doesn’t matter anymore
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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24 સપ્ટે |
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My mother put a bare challah with no plate or anything onto a bare table which reminds me of a Jacob Reiss photograph
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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24 સપ્ટે |
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Lion King prop man arrested for making gun in a 3D printer. Those paper mache’ animal heads have gotta be bullet proof #CanYoufeeltheGunTonight
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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24 સપ્ટે |
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The giant inflatable rat is outside of the Bye Bye baby #backinNYC #diaperrat
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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24 સપ્ટે |
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Did Mrs. Maisels marathon on @AmericanAir with shorted out screen so couldn’t hear but saw colleagues @joglu2 @CaroleeCarmello and Mary Testa
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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Every word that I hate on one side #SanFran pic.twitter.com/bNoOirxDhO
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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My piano player forgot to empty his water bottle. It’s a security incident now #SFairport
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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1 of the many homeless people we saw in SF was a woman wearing a tiara and holding a doll. Maybe she was celebrating her inner child
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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Deliciously rabid audience in SF and then some drunk A hole in a pork pie hat who didn’t even see my show hijacked my receiving line. Who does that?
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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So I get all the way to San Francisco and fisherman’s wharf, and I miss the sea lions. Loser
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Jackie Hoffman
@JackieHoffman16
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23 સપ્ટે |
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Couldn’t have better audiences at Feinstein’s at the Nico. Who knew I had so many fans in San Fran. I’m just pissed about going to fisherman’s wharf and not knowing about those damn sea lions
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