Categories
short stories

The Last Osama

I’m working on what I hope will be my final Osama story – following My Travels with Al-Qaeda, Wrong Number and, of course, the forthcoming Osama.

It’s a story collaboration with “Mike Longshott”, the pulp paperback writer Joe is hired to find in Osama, as well as featuring him as the hero of a pulp story about a special sort of bounty-hunter. At the same time, like in Osama, it has its metafictional element, a second layer of narrative written by “Lavie Tidhar”. I have no idea yet where it will be published, but here is a short extract from the “me” sections, explaining where “Mike Longshott” originally came from.

I plucked “Mike Longshott” out of the moulding Hebrew pulp novels of the sixties and seventies. He was a composite being, a man who did not really exist. Longshott wrote soft core pornography, tales of Nazi concentration camps where prisoners were abused, physically and sexually, by Aryan goddesses, sadistic nymphomaniacs of the Third Reich.

He was a pen-name broke young writers hid behind for cash. He was a collective, burrowing into the sexual and social taboos of his era. He wrote crap, was paid crap, and his books, sold under the counter, went from hand to hand and bathroom to bathroom, their covers featuring naked flesh and whips, guard posts and POW slaves and a plethora of large improbable breasts. He never lived, he never breathed, his prose was eminently forgettable. He was a hack, a pulpster, a paperback writer. His name was Mike Longshott and he was going to be my hero.

Two Hebrew pulp novels, the one on the left by Mike Longshott (The Murder in the Stalag), the one on the right by “Mike Baden” (the notorious Stalag 13).

Categories
book news

The Great Game cover art!

Angry Robots have just revealed the cover art for the forthcoming third Bookman Histories novel, The Great Game.

I still can’t believe I got David Frankland as my cover artist. I’ve loved his work for years, and he just does them perfectly!

Anyway, no words necessary. Just… this:

Categories
Uncategorized

“The School” Update

I wanted to say a thousand thanks to everyone who contributed after the publication of “The School”! As promised, I’ll select one person at random to receive a signed copy of the manuscript. I’ll also select someone to receive a copy of Camera Obscura. The support meant a lot!

“The School” is now available in the July issue of Expanded Horizons, for which I am also very grateful. Dash from Expanded Horizons asked me about the influences of the story, so here is my comment below.

Q: What drove you to write the story, how has this gelled in your mind?  Was this floating around in your consciousness for years, or was there some “aha” moment that made it crystalize?

A: It’s been coalescing for me for a while, I guess the final prompt was reading Creating the Innocent Killer, by John Kessel, which in turn builds on Ender and Hitler: Sympathy for the Superman, by Elaine Radford, which I then also went and read. I wouldn’t say I find either entirely convincing, but they acted as the final prompt for “The School”, I think – adding that final missing piece to make it possible to write it.

The Campbell Axiom in the story – that’s pretty much a direct quote, I think, from Isaac Asimov’s autobiography, In Memory Yet Green. Asimov valued Campbell tremendously, but was also very aware of Campbell’s racism, which I think shaped American science fiction, the “Golden Age” and beyond, in ways we still feel today.

The Weber Axiom… I don’t go to conventions or anything like that, but I ended up at Eastercon when my second novel, Camera Obscura, came out recently, and somehow ended up on a space opera panel with Weber, who was the guest of honour there. So the axiom is pretty much a direct quote as well, and in fact the part of the pupil in the story, the one raising his hand to bang on about Melanesia (where I’ve lived) is the one I tried to make in response. There was a polite silence and then everyone went back to talking about calculating spaceship trajectories or whatever it was.

Stone’s comment on homosexuality as a genetic defect is still online, as are Card’s own views on the subject. There is one reference in there that’s very obscure – that only about 5 people in the world could possibly pick up on, but I couldn’t help myself working it in. It’s the one about “blending African and Jewish genetic lines to – “to mix the African’s physical prowess with the Jew’s intellectual power””. That’s actually the subject of an Israeli novel, Zirmat Cha’chamim (Genes for Geniuses, Inc. or, for a more literal translation, Smart People’s Sperm) by geneticist Ram Mo’av. Mo’av wrote a second book, Luna: The Genetic Paradise (I write about it elsewhere) – about a genetic utopia on the moon, which he wrote as he was dying of a terminal illness. It’s terribly obscure, but I had fun working that in!

Oh, and the opening paragraph is a direct reference to S.P. Somtow’s “The Bird Catcher” (which you can read in my The Apex Book of World SF, amongst others, or online) – “There was this other boy in the internment camp.  His name was Jim.  After the war, he made something of a name for himself.  He wrote books, even a memoir of the camp that got turned into a Spielberg movie.  It didn’t turn out that gloriously for me.” I loved the idea of this intersection, this meta-commenting on fiction, so I stole it!

“The School” is very much a story about science fiction. It’s also, as I’m sure some readers have helpfully pointed out, not incredibly subtle. But then, quite a lot of science fiction’s ingrained sexism or racism isn’t particularly subtle either.

At the end of the day, I wrote it because I needed to write it. It does what I want it to do, which is all I can really ask of a short story. Responses have varied wildly… read it and make up your own mind.

Categories
book news

Get The Bookman for just 99p!

Angry Robot Books have gone craaaaaazy! You can now get The Bookman for the Kindle for just 99p!

That’s right! 99 pence!

What are you waiting for!

And if that’s not all, you get a set of steak knives absolutely free!!*

Get The Bookman for just 99p now!

* no you don’t.

Categories
General

T.J. McIntyre Reviews Osama

Over at Skull Salad Reviews, T.J. McIntyre reviews Osama:

In the interest of full disclosure, I admit Lavie’s someone I know and interact with online. I received an electronic review copy straight from the author himself. That said, Tidhar’s new novel, Osama (PS Publishing, 2011), is a difficult novel to review without spoilers. I will do my best here. But let me just say upfront that I loved, loved this book! Sometimes when getting a book from a friend or acquaintance, there’s a hesitance to review it because of the risk of hurting feelings. There was no need to hesitate reviewing this one.

On a superficial level, at least through roughly two-thirds of the novel, the story is pretty simple to explain. It is about a private investigator named Joe living in an alternative present where 9/11 and The War on Terrorism are the stuff of pulp novels. Osama bin Laden is a popular character in a series of cheap paperback thrillers detailing the lives of terrorists by an author named Mike Longshott. When removed from reality, the exploits of the terrorists make for entertaining reads in this alternative history. There are even conventions dedicated to Longshott and his Osama novels. People dress up like Osama and terrorists at these conventions and have roundtable discussions concerning the social relevance of these novels, much like at a Trekkie convention. The fictional acts of terrorism are all entertainment, nothing to fear.

Joe’s story itself reads much like a paperback thriller. He’s a hard-drinking, smoking private investigator searching through the seedy underworlds of Europe. Joe is hired to track down Longshott and travels around the world looking to uncover this author. In the process, he starts to learn a thing or two about himself.

The last third of the book is full of revelations. Our reality and Joe’s alternate reality collide and the text grows increasingly slipstream and surreal. I won’t say anymore about plot because I don’t want to spoil the experience for anyone. The less one knows going into this novel, the more they will enjoy it, I believe.

Ultimately, this is a novel about identity, a novel which reflects a reality of the modern age in which we live. We choose our identities in many aspects of modern life – whether it be through a pen name as a writer, the personas we take on in differing social situations, or through online handles and avatars. As one character states in the novel:

“‘You have to choose what to be. When you’ve been stripped of everything; a
name, a face, a love – you could be anything. You could even choose to be
yourself.'”

A wonderfully entertaining and thought-provoking book – My six pack rating: 6 out of 6 Trader Joe’s Vienna Style Lager

Categories
short stories

TOC: The Mammoth Book of Steampunk

Sean Wallace has announced the table of contents for The Mammoth Book of Steampunk, coming out next year.

“Steampunk: Looking to the Future through the Lens of the Past” by Ekaterina Sedia (introduction)
“Fixing Hanover” by Jeff VanderMeer
“The Steam Dancer (1896)” by  Caitlin R. Kiernan
“Icebreaker” by  Elise Tobler (original)
“Tom Edison and His Amazing Telegraphic Harpoon” by Jay Lake
“The Zeppelin Conductors’ Society Annual Gentlemen’s Ball” by Genevieve Valentine
“Clockwork Fairies” by Cat Rambo
“The Mechanical Aviary of Emperor Jala-ud-din Muhammed Akbar” by Shweta Narayan
“Prayers of Forges and Furnaces” by Aliette de Bodard (original)
“The Effluent Engine” by N.K. Jemisin
“The Clockwork Goat and the Smokestack Magi” by Peter M Ball
“The Armature of Flight” by Sharon Mock
“The Anachronist’s Cookbook” by Catherynne M. Valente
“Numismatics in the Reigns of Naranh and Viu” by Alex Dally MacFarlane (original)
“Zeppelin City” by Michael Swanwick & Eileen Gunn
“The People’s Machine” by Tobias Buckell
“The Hands That Feed” by Matthew Kressel
“Machine Maid” by Margo Lanagan
“To Follow the Waves” by Amal El-Mohtar
“Clockmaker’s Requiem” by Barth Anderson
“Dr. Lash Remembers” by Jeffrey Ford
“Lady Witherspoon’s Solution” by James Morrow
“Reluctance” by Cherie Priest
“A Serpent in the Gears” by Margaret Ronald
“The Celebrated Carousel of the Margravine of Blois” by Megan Arkenberg
“Biographical Notes To ‘A Discourse On The Nature Of Causality’ by Benjamin Rosenbaum” by Benjamin Rosenbaum
“Clockwork Chickadee” by Mary Robinette Kowal
“Cinderella Suicide” by Samantha Henderson
“Arbeitskraft” by Nick Mamatas (original)
“To Seek Her Fortune” by Nicole Kornher-Stace
“The Ballad of the Last Human” by Lavie Tidhar (original)

Categories
short stories

TOC: Solaris Rising

Editor Ian Whates has announced the table of contents for new anthology Solaris Rising: The New Solaris Book of Science Fiction.

  1. “A Smart-Mannered Uprising of the Dead” by Ian McDonald
  2. “The Incredible Exploding Man” by Dave Hutchinson
  3. “Sweet Spots” by Paul di Filippo
  4. “Best SF of the Year Three” by Ken MacLeod
  5. “The One that Got Away” by Tricia Sullivan
  6. “Rock Day” by Stephen Baxter
  7. “Eluna” by Stephen Palmer
  8. “Shall I Tell You the Problem with Time Travel?” by Adam Roberts
  9. “The Lives and Deaths of Che Guevara” by Lavie Tidhar
  10. “Steel Lake” by Jack Skillingstead
  11. “Mooncakes” by Mike Resnick and Laurie Tom
  12. “At Play in The Fields” by Steve Rasnic Tem
  13. “How We Came Back From Mars” by Ian Watson
  14. “You Never Know” by Pat Cadigan
  15. “Yestermorrow” by Richard Salter
  16. “Dreaming Towers, Silent Mansions” by Jaine Fenn
  17. “Eternity’s Children” by Eric Brown and Keith Brooke
  18. “For the Ages” by Alastair Reynolds
  19. “Return of the Mutant Worms” by Peter F. Hamilton
Categories
Politics short stories

The Story They Wouldn’t Publish

As soon as I wrote this story I realised I would most likely have to self-publish it. To my delighted surprise, though, an editor at one of the big online magazines offered me, shortly after, to publish it. Two days later, however, the publisher of the same magazine declined the story, not wanting to deal with any potential fallout. I then showed it – unofficially – to a handful of people, and got a potential offer to publish it in another big magazine, if only I were to change some of the references in the story.

I decided, instead, to publish it here.

Note: if, after reading the story, you feel like contributing a buck or two towards it, please click on the Paypal button below. I would ideally like to make the $60-$120 I would have been paid for this story, but I don’t necessarily expect to. However, I will raffle one signed printout of the story amongst contributors just in case you fancy one of those. If you just want to leave a comment, of whatever nature, feel free to do so too.

The School

 By Lavie Tidhar

There had been another boy at the school, called Ender, but he’d attacked and seriously hurt and in at least one case we knew of killed one of the other boys, and they finally had to put him down, though he kept protesting, the day they came for him, that it wasn’t his fault.

No-one wanted to be put down at the school. They bred us very carefully, lines of genetic lineage, great-great-grandparents and parents all down the generations selected by the board and certified and mated to produce us. If we were an aberration we were put down and our progenitors were mated again, to try and create a better version.

My earliest memory is of white men in white coats holding clipboards, examining me. They measured my skull and prodded me with thick pink fingers and made careful notes. There was a war coming, they kept saying, and we had to be prepared.

Because of aliens.

#

White people are better than brown people and white people of Nordic extraction are better than dirty-white people like the Italians or the Irish. When I grew up I learnt there had been factions amongst the Teachers and that one faction had tried, over centuries, to breed a new kind of human, blending African and Jewish genetic lines–“to mix the African’s physical prowess with the Jew’s intellectual power”, I think it says that in the original notes. But the project was disbanded and all the samples destroyed, and now they only breed us out of good white stock–the best kind.

#

When a technologically-advanced society meets an alien society with less firepower, the only result–so the Teachers say–is war. There is, the Teachers say, admonishing us, no other possible outcome, no negotiation, no compromise.

This is known as the David Weber Axiom.

#

Humans are the best possible life form and white humans are the best possible humans and, also, we have a manifest destiny and the universe is our heritage.

This is known as the John W. Campbell Axiom.

#

There was a boy at the school who raised his hand once when a Teacher said that, when she was telling us about war and why it was inevitable; and he said that in the South Pacific, in Melanesian society (everyone sort of sniggered when he said Melanesians) they had a strange concept called Pis, which was absolute. So, say, if a neighbour killed your son, or you stole his cow, or whatever, you couldn’t fight it out; you had to do a Pis Seremoni and exchange goods, both the victim and the perpetrator had to pay each other off, to maintain the peace. Even when they had wars, they were agreed on in advance and lasted a specific length of time and the winner got tallied by official score keepers, and then there was peace again and everyone went home for tea.

There was a silence after the boy said that and then the teacher said, “There aren’t any Melanesians any more.”

Also, they sent the boy to the showers shortly after.

#

We had showers at the school, and then we had showers. That type of shower didn’t have water in the taps, it had a very humane sort of gas and that’s how they put you down. There was also a small crematorium, and we had to use a wheelbarrow to transport the boys who didn’t make it from the one to the other.

“It is a great opportunity for you boys,” the Teachers always told us. We had a picture of the Leader in the communal dining room and he looked down at us with sad, wise eyes. “The galaxy will be ours,” the Teachers said. “Think how lucky you boys are.”

#

There were no girls at the school. Girls are for childbearing.

#

The school was in low Earth orbit, in a specially constructed habitat. It was inside a hollowed-out asteroid and had the most advanced training programme of the time. There had been an enemy called the Buggers but the Leader had long ago initiated a gay extermination policy just like we did with the Jews a few centuries later. “We have to destroy the aliens within,” the Leader said, “before we can destroy the aliens without.”

#

Homosexuality is a genetic defect. This is known as the Eric James Stone Axiom.

#

We had a fleet of starships, billions of tiny, deadly devices, a swarm controlled from a distance by a human mind–which would be one of us. Each swarm was to take on a different solar system. Each boy from the school would control one swarm. Each swarm would descend on all inhabited planets in said solar system and destroy all potentially threatening life forms, before human colonisation could commence.

Each of us would be a hero, each of us the liberator of entire worlds.

Think of the glory!

#

There are aliens out there. Non-human, dirty, disgusting things. They have to be exterminated. This is our destiny.

But recently I’ve been having doubts. I keep thinking about the Ender boy. I keep wondering if it was really his fault. Soon it’s going to be my turn at the controls, the swarm descending on a solar system far away, the billions of robotic killing machines obeying my every move as I sweep down to exterminate the vermin of space. I’m not sure what I’ll encounter there, what manner of strange creatures live on those nameless planets, Buggers or Jews, but they must be removed from the universe for humanity–for the right kind of humanity–to live on.

#

Can I do it, I wonder? They bred me for this, the Teachers; they programmed me and planned my childhood the way they had planned my genetic line and selected my parents and their parents and their parents’ parents. They had tested me in every way and conditioned me to do it, and absolved me from responsibility, for I am just following their orders.

Will I do it?

Even raising the question I risk the showers, I must hide it deep inside of me and never let it out, never let it betray me. Some say the Ender boy never died, that he ran away and joined the aliens and took up Buggery. If so, the story gives us hope.

#

But these are lies, misinformation fed to us by the Teachers, to test us.

#

Only war.

#

Manifest destiny.

#

Press the button, and they die. Press the button, and something inside you might die. But you’ve been trained for it. You’ve been bred for it. Let go of childish doubts. You are ready, now. Press the button. Press the button. Press the button. Press the button. Press the button.

THE END.

 

Categories
General

Colin Harvey reviews Osama

Colin Harvey reviews Osama:

Osama is written in an elliptical tone reminiscent of Moorcock’s Jerry Cornelius stories; Tidhar describes the minutae of coffee, cigarettes and clothes, but omits exposition, instead creating a narrative tension through the reader’s need to puzzle out the background; as Joe wonders what the World Trade Centre is, Tidhar starts to explain his alternate world, but slowly, slowly, and always by allusion. Rather like the protagonist, the reader is left with the sense that “The…writer was leaving…a trail of crumbs to follow” (p.120).

As the novel progresses, it becomes ever more Dickian, as Joe slips between realities, alongside the refugee ‘ghosts’ that he glimpses from the corner of his eye. In the novel’s clearest homage to The Man in the High Castle, Joe undergoes a reality slip that echoes Mr. Tagomi’s, visiting what appears to be ‘our’ London

. . .

Osama is an unsettling, oddly poignant look at what might have been, a world that is not necessarily better –because human nature precludes that- but simply different; it shows Tidhar’s originality and growing accomplishment in one of the best novels of the year so far. – read the full review!

Categories
short stories

The Three Laws of Zombie

My latest short story, The Three Laws of Zombie, is now online at Daily Science Fiction. My thanks to Nir Yaniv for his help in formulating the three laws. Incidentally, the story was conceived and written exactly a year ago! We were hanging around a book stall in Israeli Book Week, supposedly to sign copies of the Hebrew edition of The Tel Aviv Dossier, and we ended up with the idea of a zombie Asimov robot and, almost immediately afterwards, to the Three Laws. I possibly have that piece of paper with them scribbled on it, somewhere around…

Anyway, check it out!

The first time I saw a zombie was at McDonald’s. It tried to attack the cashier. An angry mob turned on the zombie. It stood between them and a Happy Meal. They beat the crap out of that thing. Green rotten brain splutters hit the plastic counter and it smelled worse than it usually smells at McDonald’s. By the time it was dead for good I had lost my appetite.

Zombies weren’t good for business.

In the following weeks every major fast-food chain had hired guards to stand outside, big fellah bouncers in non-threatening company colours and brightly-coloured shotguns. Don’t matter what colour a shotgun is when it blows your brains out.

They also hired extra cleaners. The new company standard was despatch-remove-clean in under a minute, or you could claim a free meal.

Everyone likes a free meal at McDonald’s.

KFC had a major embarrassment when old Colonel Sanders came back from beyond the grave looking like a half-cooked fried chicken past its sell-by-date. And when the whole zombie thing really took off, and Micky D had to face hordes of zombie Ronald McDonalds in feeding frenzies across the country, mass layoffs were a continuous problem.

I don’t know what happened with Wendy’s. I never went to Wendy’s. – continue reading.